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Sunday, April 7, 2013

Is Competiton Good for Couples?

By Chanta Rand
My husband and I are natural competitors.  Growing up, we both played sports.  He played baseball and ran long-distance.
  I also ran track, played volleyball, and tried my hand at cheerleading. Unfortunately, the only splits I ever mastered are the ones at the ends of my hair.
As we’ve grown older, we haven’t lost our competitive edge. We’re not gearing up for the Olympics anytime soon, although if living vicariously through our teenagers was an Olympic sport, we’d medal for sure!
The sport we enjoy most is competing with each other. This rivalry oozes into every aspect of our lives. He has an orange Challenger (I call it The Beast); I have a yellow Camaro (Queen Bee). If you think racing is limited to those dudes on Fast and Furious, think again. You should see us racing each other home on the freeway. Is it dangerous? Yes! Is it exciting? Yes! It doesn’t matter who wins. For us, it’s the thrill of the competition. The best part: we have our own way of celebrating afterward. Since this is a PG-13 blog, I’ll spare you the juicy details.
One of our favorite sports is bowling. My husband has three balls (hey, watch it!) and I have two. On random Saturday nights, we sneak out while our teenagers are asleep and we head to Spare Time Lanes to engage in Xtreme Bowling. From 11 P.M. to 2 A.M., we bowl at a cost of $12 for two hours. You can’t beat those rates. That’s almost cheaper than two grande Caramel Macchiatos at Starbucks. As long as you don’t mind the disco balls and strobe lights, you can bowl for hours. Even though we’re fiercely competitive, we consider this our quality time. Powered by Heineken and bravado, I’ve been known to get a Turkey on many occasions. Uh, that’s three strikes in a row for those of you who are bowling-challenged.
We’re both gamblers and risk-takers, so we also love betting. We bet on everything from movie trivia to sports outcomes to who’ll get eliminated on American Idol. The winner gets to name their prize. The penalty for losing varies from anything to folding laundry, washing dishes, watching chick flicks, or eating at the winner’s favorite restaurant.
Once, my husband bet me that Johnny Depp was in the movie, Platoon. Of course, I argued that he wasn’t. I’ve been a fan of Johnny’s since Gilbert Grape. I know all of his movies. Mama didn’t raise no dummy. My husband bet me that I had to wash and wax "The Beast" if I was wrong. Guess what? He pulled an obscure, raggedy copy of Platoon from his crusty old DVD collection. Sure enough–there was Johnny Depp! Who knew waxing was so hard? I had carpel tunnel for a week!



We’ve had some other creative and pleasurable rewards as a result of our bets. Once again, I won’t get into deep detail. Let’s just say it’s enough to fill a romance novel. My point is, all this competition has been beneficial for our relationship. We’ve been married for eight years, and we haven’t had a dull moment yet. In fact, I think healthy competition is good for all couples. Try it, and see for yourself how sports can fuel your passion for each other. I’ll bet you have nothing to lose.
P.S. Check out this pic of me and hubby parasailing in the Bahamas.

My latest sports romance, Delay of Game is available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. For a list of all of books, visit my site at:




Chanta Jefferson Rand
You can't expect any sizzle if you don't turn up the heat!
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11 comments:

Destiny Blaine said...

You're so right about keeping the fires burning with a little fun in friendly competition. My husband and I went roller skating last night and I haven't had that much fun in over a year. Great post and picture!

Destiny

Patricia Sargeant said...

What a fun post, Chanta! I wish you and your husband scores of happy years together.

Best!

Patricia Sargeant / Regina Hart

Paty Jager said...

I agree! Competition is good for a relationship in so many ways. If you don't keep each other on your toes you'll fall into dull and boring and lose the excitement that keeps a relationship and marriage successful.

Congratulations on a wonderful marriage and being competitive. Off to check out more about your book.

Thank you for being on RTG today!

Judith Ashley said...

Hi Chanta,

Welcome to RTG! I'm most competitive with myself which can be a good thing and also not so good. I now make a serious attempt to temper my competiveness with reality! (Yes, I ended up in the ED with a strained groin muscle when determined to bring a weeks worth of groceries in from the car in one trip. And I've agreed with myseslf to never climb on my roof again).

Competetion laced with fun and followed by those R rated consolation prizes? ... now that is something else.

Thanks for a thoughtfully fun post.

Chanta said...

Destiny and Paty, you guys hit the nail on the head. A little friendly competition keeps the relationship fresh, and it's great exercise. By the way, my husband is a great roller skater. I suck at it. But it's on my TBL list (To Be Learned)!

Chanta said...

Thanks Patricia. They say half the fun in marriage is not the union itself, but the journey you take together.

Chanta said...

LOL Judith! I've been there. I'm too lazy to make more than one trip, so I've been guilty of trying to haul all the bags in at once. The plastic grocery bag cut into my finger once, but I never sprained a groin muscle. OUCH!

Sarah Raplee said...

You've given me food for thought, Chanta! My husband and I need to get more exercise. Maybe I can interest him in a little friendly competition!

Thanks you for visiting Romancing the Genres!

Chanta said...

Sarah, the good thing about competition is the exercise doesn't have to be hard. It could be a beer-drinking contest, darts, playing strip poker - you get the picture. But if you two are in need of more active sports, start out with bumper cars and batting cages. Those are so fun!

Elley Arden said...

Chanta,

My husband and I are very competitive. I love that about us. I think it's so much fun, and he knows I'm no pushover. :)

Elley

Chanta said...

Hi Elley! I think competition adds spice to the relationship. And the fact that you don't let him win is even better!