05-26-18 – Blog Queen - Sarah Raplee

Thursday, April 11, 2013

To be a Mother or to be an Author?

To be a mother or to be an author? A question many mothers debate in this world is either to be a full time mother or to be out in the work force. I married and had my family young. That had been my plan all along, yet I never really thought about what that impact would have on my dreams. So many young women (and men) have these ellaborate dreams of what they're going to do as adults.

They plan and plan and plan. And then life gets in the way.
Isn't that what we always say? Life got in the way. My life? Three children. Now, I wouldn't trade them for anything in this world, but being a mother at the age of 20 isn't all it's cracked up to be. I had my youngest a day before my 25th birthday and for the next several years I spent all my time raising them to be intelligent, thoughtful, helpful people. But where did my dreams go? Unfortunately down the tube.

For as long as I can remember I told stories, acted out fantasical worlds and characters, wrote them down on paper or in the dirt, etc. etc. etc. When the kids came I told them stories and enthralled them with my worlds. But as with everything that time was short. They didn't need me as often. My dream began to rear it's head out of the desert sand. And so did the guilt. Sure there were plenty of mothers out there that worked for a living and raised their kids. I knew plenty of them, but I'd always felt once I had kids until they were grown they would need all of my attention.

Even now, after finally having self-published two of my short stories I still feel guilty when I'm working and they need me. My first thought is to drop everything I'm doing and go to them. Then I take a deep breath, wait for a second and if they are still asking I go. If the moment has passed for them I return to my work with a lighter heart.

What makes you feel guilty to do even though you shouldn't?


Judith Ashley said...

I believe there will always be times when what we want to do/be is in conflict with what the people we love want or want us to be. Good for you that you've found a way to stay true to yourself...

Diana Mcc. said...

Thought provoking blog post! Great post.

Sarah Raplee said...

I've always felt the two biggest problems parents face are lack of sleep and guilt, LOL.

It sounds like you're finding your balance on the guilt issue.

Stick with your writing. You are making progress by leaps and bounds!