Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Very Superstitious

Are you superstitious?  I’m not.  Okay, maybe a little, but I only have a couple phobias.

·        I suppose I might be superstitious about walking under ladders.  Especially those two-foot step ladders.

·        And I have difficulty walking on cracks—which makes me kinda crazy since I work on a campus with brick sidewalks.

·        If I see a penny, I don’t pick it up.  First, if it’s so darn lucky, why did the other dude drop it?  Worse, coins are a virtually germ factory, so if the choice is good luck or avoiding Ebola virus… No contest. Besides, I’d have to pick up two-hundred pennies just to buy a lottery ticket.

·        I am NOT superstitious about black cats crossing my path.  No matter than I’ve tripped over my ebony feline 287 times—sometimes after walking under the step ladder.

·        I’m very suspicious of a rabbit’s foot, though.  Supposedly, that little piece of dead fur/bone/ewwww is good luck.  For the rabbit—not so much.

·        I never open my umbrella indoors.  Why would I? It doesn’t rain there.

·        I don’t believe that breaking a mirror leads to seven years of bad luck.  Of course I have one more year to go before I know for sure. 

·        Four-leaf clovers bring good luck. Puhleez! Anyone sitting in the dirt looking for one of those botanical charms is already behind the proverbial eight-ball. Not only are you wasting time, you are—I repeat—sitting in the dirt. 

·        Garlic wards off vampires. Vampires? Really?  Who believes that crap?
                  Besides, vampires live in Olive Gardens; they must love garlic.

·        Refusing to kiss someone under the mistletoe brings bad luck.  Doesn’t that depend on who’s under the mistletoe?  I mean, I can see how it would be bad luck to deny Bon Jovi a kiss, but what about O.J.  Also, doesn’t mistletoe sound a lot like missing toe? As in the poor rabbit.

·        I do not believe standing in a circle will keep the evil spirits away.  After all, the earth is a circle and I’ve been standing her for years and congress is still around.  I know because I sent them a check.

·        I do believe it’s bad luck to sing at the table. If you want to get lucky, shouldn’t you dance on the table??

·        I’m not superstitious about the number thirteen. Uh-oh.  I have thirteen bullets.  Gotta go find some salt to throw over my shoulder.

Maybe I need an entire bag of salt, because you know what I’m really superstitious about?  Writing down my superstitions. 

Oy vey. 

4 comments:

Linda Lovely said...

A fun post, Robin. I can see one of your characters' friends having these superstitions and our heroine trying to dissuade her. A Halloween short story?

Judith Ashley said...

My goodness, Robin - you mentioned some superstitions I'd not heard of in years! We do tend to think of ourselves one way that isn't always accurate when we really analyze the situation.

Do you favor sea salt over table salt?

Anonymous said...

Don't know about all these superstitions but my feet are itching! Nice piece, Robin.

Ashantay said...

Did you know that encircling your house with salt keeps evil spirits at bay? I'm headed to the store now - and will pick up some garlic while I'm at it...