DARKNESS AND LIGHT by Michelle Somers

In the Somers household, the month of July has been a month of reflection. Of sadness and joy. Celebration and commiseration.

So much positivity and laughter, so much love, all lurking beneath a dense, dark cloud.

After years of thinking our time would never come, of financial stresses that saw weeks where grocery shopping was a luxury, we bought a house. My husband’s business is booming. My oldest son finally celebrated his Barmitzvah, my youngest gained a black belt in taekwondo. For the first time in many years, after a horrible spout of bullying, my middle son is happy and thriving at school. 

As we celebrated all these wonderful occurrences, clouds closed in. We attended a funeral for one family member whilst being told there’d be another not too far down the track.

How to feel?

Life is such an emotional rollercoaster. Such wonderful highs. But when the lows come, they slash the wind from your sails and roil the deep, dark waters into turmoil. 

I have a tendency to ride those waters, the ones that drag you down. I wouldn’t dare to label these emotions. Depression, some might say. Who knows? I only know the darkness. Yet over the past few years, I’ve taught myself to see the light.

I don’t want to focus on the doom and gloom here. Life will always throw us curveballs. There’ll always be sadness and loss and a time when we must say goodbye to the ones we love. Yet, there’ll always be time to make every day, every moment count. To gather up the experiences, the memories, the little things that will cast a light on our darkest moments.

I count myself lucky. I have an incredible husband, three incredible boys, and an extended family that for the most part is warm and open and loving. I have friends who know I am there for them, as I know they are there for me.

Every day I build memories, and am grateful that I was able to do so. I hug my kids, sometimes a little tighter than they’d like. I kiss my husband and tell him I appreciate him. I text or call a friend, see how they’re going. Speak to my mum every day. Thank the universe for being alive.

I’m also thankful I have an outlet for these emotions – my writing.

Writing has been my savior and my solace. In times when emotions have threatened to get the better of me, I’ve poured my soul onto the page. When anger or frustration hit, I’ve written the anger and frustration onto paper, ripped it to shreds and tossed it into the trash. And with that action, I mentally toss the darkness that would otherwise follow.

It doesn’t always work, but there are times it does.

It doesn’t stop the darkness from lurking, or people being stripped from my life. I still feel a deep sadness, a helplessness, knowing what is waiting around the corner and knowing there’s not a thing I can do to stop it.

The temptation is to say ‘what a waste’. Yet if we live life to the fullest, make the most of the days we have, are they really a waste? And are we doing ourselves and others an injustice to think this way?

It’s really for the individual to decide. Me? I want to make every day count. For most of us, we don’t know when our last day will be, but it’s so important not to let that last day sneak up and leave us with regrets. I don’t want regrets. Or missed opportunities. I want to make the most of people and opportunities while they are here, and celebrate them and what we shared when they are gone. I want to make a life worth living, and not squander or take for granted what can be snatched so easily from me in the blink of an eye.

So, what’s the message behind this month’s blog?

Life is short. Life is special. Life should never be taken for granted.

Make the most of your time on earth, and make the most of time with the ones you love. Hug those who are dear to you a little bit harder. Don’t let ‘busy’ get in the way of living and making memories.

Don’t let the sun set on your anger. And don’t let life’s opportunities pass you by.

Don’t waste a single day, and live each one as if it was your last.

I hope your July was a good one, and that August brings you nothing but special memories and sunshine. If you’ve had some good, some joys and laughter and triumphs, I’d love to hear them. Please share J

Thanks for stopping by, and once again, thanks for your love and support. I look forward to connecting with you again next month.

I’d like to share one more high from the month of July. My website is finally up and running and beautiful, thanks to my gorgeous web designer, Lana Pecherczyk. If you have time, click here, pop on over and take a look. I’d love to know what you think J

Michelle Somers is a bookworm from way back. An ex-Kiwi who now calls Australia home, she's a professional killer and matchmaker, a storyteller and a romantic. Words are her power and her passion. Her heroes and heroines always get their happy ever after, but she'll put them through one hell of a journey to get there.

Michelle lives in Melbourne, Australia, with her real life hero and three little heroes in the making. And Emmie, her furry black feline who thinks she’s a dog. Her debut novel, Lethal in Love won the Romance Writers of Australia's 2016 Romantic Book of the Year (RuBY) and the 2013 Valerie Parv Award.

Her second novel, Murder Most Unusual is available in ebook and paperback now. And the first in her Simply Writing Series - Simply Synopsis - is out on 8 August 2017.