When I try to recall the best book that I read in 2018, I
laughed out loud. I didn’t even finish one besides my own. Indigo Legacy took a full three years to complete, along with
multiple read-throughs from both my editor and so many from me I stopped counting.
But that doesn’t count, does it? Editing a novel is hard, hard work.
There were two books I attempted to read in order to give myself distance from my manuscript. Both were supremely disappointing: Mississippi Blood by Greg Iles and Origin by Dan Brown. I had a Missus-Bitchy-Face at every turn of the page.
Greg Iles is one of my favorites, but a courtroom rehash of the first two
books of a trilogy bored me to tears. I wanted to love this book, but it felt like a throw-away to keep Greg's publisher happy. In similar fashion, Dan Brown’s writing has gone downhill
with the pressure to crank out a controversial story. Even at 200 pages into Dan
Brown’s book, Origin, and I still
didn’t know the "big discovery" that was teased in the Prologue. Give me the guts of the real problem upfront, and then play out the obstacles for finding the solution. Schlock. . . pure schlock.
Ugh…sorry guys, but I’m getting so picky. The new traditional publishing machine messed with my leisure reading. I’ve never not previously finished a book, but these two books made me shove them under the nightstand for an evening of staring at the ceiling. I can do better. I can write better.
I did read a fabulous non-fiction book about bears. Bears: Their Life and Behavior by Art Wolfe. It rung my chimes in a big way. His photography was second to none, and Mr. Wolfe captured the expressions, actions, and emotion that I wanted to embrace. I learned so much good stuff. After I read it for my research, I was so juiced to work on my new book that I couldn't stand it. My clairvoyant character has a spiritual communication with a grizzly. With a little Native American magical realism, I'm off and running with themes of aging, love, and reconciling the past. More on that later.
The “machine” of
traditional publishing is being eclipsed by Indies, those of us who choose
to own and control our work. We fearlessly defend the integrity of our stories and celebrate our ownership. We are so bonded with our characters that our readers, too, consider them part of their families.
I’m happy for this shift. My readers know who I am. I have a
personal relationship with them, and I share the details of my life to these strangers who have become my friends. Could I
ever imagine this with a traditional publisher who only cares about the dollar
return for each press of the “Add to Cart” button?
I’m in this writing business for a different reason: I need
to write the story ideas that I obsess over. I can’t not write them. I don’t really care about being
famous and rich from my writing. That’s not why I do it. I write about what resonates inside of me.
And if it connects with others who experience the same emotions, then Hallelujah!
I love you guys.
Fame and success are complicated topics. We authors want to make a living from the heart of what we do. However, many writers
chase fame like a phantom in the night. They lunge for the next trend and hold a cup under the guillotine
of an author who gets interviewed as Oprah’s “Book of the Year.” That doesn't personify most of the authors I know. I can’t
bond with those who spend more money on their author photo than on what they
spend on editing their book.
I write with private
abandon and come up for air with fluttery eyelashes. Sometimes I have no idea
what happened in the world while I was away in my fiction-crafted existence. A raw humor covers my discomfort at being
public, but I do enjoy my anonymity when I want it. And when I’m done, my work
will have a life of its own . . . Equally
as important is being a wife, a mother, a sister, and a daughter to a Mom who was at the center of three of my books.
I’m not unique, although my
generation of Baby Boomers is quite singular in the way we think and feel. We still
believe in so much possibility, no matter what our age. I’m that little girl of
ten with too much experience, hurt, wisdom, pride, and work ethic. I’m that little girl who meets her obligations and strives for the moon. With a lasso, I will reach that goal of
retirement where I can write full-time. Until then, everything that happens I’ll
think of as life-fuel for stories, imagination, and the hope that what I write will connect with birds of my feather.
This weekend I will be transitioning my Mom into a senior living community, but before I leave I'll tell my twelve-year-old that eating junk has long-term consequences, My husband will keep the porch light burning for me when I get home on Sunday. After I arrive, he'll wrap me in his
arms to fall asleep, only for us both to go to work on Monday. Not for too much longer, this work routine. But I will miss going by Mom's house every morning and evening, picking up her prescriptions, and receiving her daily hugs. It tears me up, really. But now she will be closer to my older sister, who is also getting ready to retire.
In the meantime, I write this article in an oh-so-quiet house with
a glass of wine. Our cat, Princeton, is in my lap, purring away without a care in
the world. The food dehydrator whirs to make dried fruit and veggies for my Mom and I to snack on while I drive her to her new home, a long four hours away. I'm not sure if the transition will be harder for her, me, my husband, my stepdaughter, or Princeton.
It's a five-way tie.
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| Available Now! Book 3 of the Dushane Sisters Trilogy |
The Dushane Sisters Trilogy concludes with Indigo Legacy, available now. There's love in the air for Olivia and Woody, but will family intrigue get in the way? Ride along for the wild trip that starts in a New York auction house and peaks in a mansion on Boston's Beacon Hill.
The Dushane sisters finally get to the truth about their mother.
5 comments:
Courtney, I certainly can relate to being disappointed in previously favorite author's books. The pressure to churn out so many books a year has been devastating in terms of my enjoyment. And the writing and editing of our books can be hard work as we reread them over and over to make them the best book we can.
Although my mom has been gone for almost seventeen years, I clearly remember the last few years of her life and the daily check-ins, then trips to the rehabilitation facility and finally to the hospital. In some ways it's a rite of passage, becoming (in my case) the matriarch of my twig on the family tree. Sending love and light to you and your family as you make this transition with your mom and soon, with your retirement.
Courtney, I can so relate to your wish to "connect with birds of my feather." I fell the same way, although I have never put it so eloquently. I write because I can't help it, and it's more fun than most of the alternatives. I write to connect.
So many of us Boomers are going through similar transitions to the ones you are facing now. Saying goodbyes, and hellos. Facing challenges and receiving gifts we could never have imagined. Finding the lessons in the difficult times and the joy in unexpected delights. Thank you for writing about your experiences so beautifully.
As always, beautifully written article. I love how you champion the independent writer. I too don't want to be put into a single style and audience and forced to churn out books only in that style. I believe that all writers come into the field with very specific stories and themes to share--whether they are fully aware of them or not. Too many of them, then work themselves into a frenzy that inevitably makes them stop writing--both traditionally published and indie published alike.
I love how you still retain the joy and still get caught up in your stories to the extent that the "real" world disappears for a time. I too do that and long for it in the times I cannot write because of "real world" obligations. It is in that writing and sharing that we can get through the transitions of life--aging parents, economic changes, divorce, new relationships, new children, children leaving home. After all a story is really something that begins at a point of transition in the characters life and ends when the character has found her path through the transition and is happy to stay there for a while.
My your many challenges continue to inform your writing and bring us the heartfelt and many faceted novels we love.
Courtney - great blog - and I loved this line: "I need to write the story ideas that I obsess over." So true.
Courtney, I love the idea for the new book. But then I would since it has a Native American them and I like the clairvoyant protagonist. Fun! Good luck!
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