I am Young Adult and Middle Grade author Barbara Binns, writer of contemporary and realistic fiction for adolescents and teens. As my tagline says, I write Stories of Real Boys Growing Into Real Men - and the people who love them.
This month's topic involves happiness.
Maybe money “can’t buy me love” as the old Beatles song said, but it can help, at least according to the recently released movie The Upside. It’s part buddy picture, part drama, the kind of thing Hollywood knows how to do well. Although, who knew faking a seizure could be so much fun?
I am not a professional movie critic, but I will give this English Language remake of the 2011 French film, Intouchables, four stars. (The original gets 5.)
Not that money isn’t involved, Phillip is a millionaire residing in a New York penthouse. Dell learns to change a catheter and that even quads can have an erection. He also learns to appreciate opera and classical music. Just don’t ask him to sit through either in silence.
In return, Phillip gets exposed to music from groups like Earth, Wind & Fire, and “modern art” as created by Dell. Mostly, both men learn to laugh at their troubles and expand their worlds, in spite of mobility issues. PS, I gained a new word, epistolary. (You’ll have to see the movie to hear that one used in a sentence.)
The major disappointment was watching Kevin Hart portray a black stereotype, the irresponsible husband/father. That Hollywood-esque change to the original story of a man helping his nephew, was unnecessary and diminished the story in my opinion.
Click to see The Upside movie trailer
There is no miracle cure at the end of either The Upside or Intouchables. Sorry if you consider that information a spoiler. The story is not about a medical miracle. Instead, its old-fashioned human resilience and the power of friendship. The men in both movies learn to laugh through their troubles. Best of all, we laugh with the disabled characters, not at them.
It helps that the two main characters are based on real people, Philippe Pozzo di Borgo and his caretaker and now friend Abdel Sellou. In fact, Philippe served as an adviser on the set of The Intouchables adding an #ownvoices vibe to the result. The two men who remain friends to this day, long after the end of their employee/employer relationship. Both movies show us that a full and satisfying life can be found, even after a crippling injury.
That's a better lesson than the "better dead than disabled" attitude of Will, the suicidal main character in the 2016 movie Me Before You. That story one posits that suicide is a preferable alternative to life as a cripple. The story has been called a "breathtaking romance," that manipulates audience heartstrings until many agree with Will's decision to end his own life and that he is indeed better off dead than crippled. This even though he has money, a loving family who wants him alive, a caretaker who really cares about his well-being, the potential for new adventures, and a girlfriend who truly loves him.
Looking at the differences between Will and Phillip, I see a question of maturity versus youth. One knows the value of embracing life, the other only how to make a grand gesture, too much like the young Romeo. Or maybe its just that having a friend is more conducive to a good life than having a love interest.
6 comments:
B.A., I've not seen any of the movies mentioned and, while I'd heard the titles of the two American made ones, didn't know what they were about. However, I've worked in social services for over 50 years and have held the hand of more than one person as they took their last breath. While I am not wheelchair dependent, I do have friends who are. I live in Oregon and we have a Death With Dignity law that allows people to choose doctor assisted suicide in some situations. It is infrequently used.
I think it goes back to what our core values are about life and death and quality vs quantity. It is also much easier to deal with major disabilities when one has money. Having had to hunt up an emergency care giver for people like Phillip whose caregivers didn't show up for work, to hear the panic in their voice as their care needs grew. To make call after call after call trying to find someone available was part of the job but always a challenge because when someone is on Medicaid there is a cap on what can be paid, a list of who one can call, etc.
When I hear about movies (or books) with these themes, I hope people pay attention to their own lives. Too easy to live vicariously as if that could never happen to them. What are your Advanced Directives? What about your Will? Do you have a PULST? To complete these items when you are relatively young can only support you and your life should the unthinkable happen.
Probably not the answer you thought you'd get, BA but it is my answer and it is something I'm relatively passionate about. We never know if today we slip on the ice and hit our head and sustain a severely head trauma. We never know if someone else loses control of their car and hits us head-on and we become paralyzed. And since we never know, being prepared just in case (at least for me) is helpful.
Good point, B. A. When I taught Romeo and Juliet to ninth graders, our theme was "Don't be stupid and impulsive" because I didn't want to glorify Romeo's and Juliet's mistakes.
These sound like great movies--I'll put them on my watch list.
Hi Judith. Part of what I was alluding to is that Me Before You was ostensibly a romance, but the major thrust was the disabled man's decision to commit suicide even though he had everything else to live for, family, friends, a new love, and all the money he needed. Able-bodied people loved it and were happy when his suicide was successful. Disabled people and their advocated were almost universally appalled. This "love story" was the able-bodied nightmare of better dead than disabled. You are right, things are different for those who cannot afford good care. But in the romantic fantasy of that world, that was not the case.
As disabled critics said, many people want to commit suicide when they first become disabled. But that usually passes over time.
In all of these movies the disabled person is fabulously wealthy, they did not want to get into the quality of health care issues. I do think the issue is that one was written by a person that had spent some time in the position of caretaker, Intouchables/The Upside was based on the memoir of someone who had actually been there. The difference in experience makes a major difference in how the disability is portrayed. Its having an #ownvoice versus having someone who did research.
BTW, I use Me Before You in my class on diverse writing when we talk about disabled characters, as an example of what should be avoided.
Great post, B.A.!
As a romance writer, I would not consider Me Before You a romance. There is no "happy ever after" or even "happy for now" in suicide.
I like the comparison to Romeo and Juliet. Ah, the impulsiveness of youth! I always felt Romeo and Juliet's true message was "don't pass on your hatred to your children lest it destroy them." Not, "impulsively kill yourself because of love lost."
I have not seen Me Before You, but from your description Will's character seems willful and self-centered if he has so much to live for but not the strength of character to reframe his attitude from 'victim' to 'man coping with the slings and arrows of outrageous Fortune.'
I forgot to respond to your last question about whether having a friend is more conducive to happiness than having a love interest.
In my opinion, friendship is the basis for true love. Infatuation or attraction must evolve into getting to know the person and respect and like them and enjoy doing things/spending time with them. In other words, friendship must develop in order for lasting love to evolve.
I agree with Sarah that the strongest marriages have, at the core, a friendship.
And thanks for responding to my earlier comment, B.A. If you are in the trenches, you do have an "own voice" that is different from a researched one. I believe in some situations good research can result in a good or even great story. After thinking about your comment, one of my concerns is that people are less able to distinguish between fantasy i.e. movie that is Not a Documentary and real life. I'm not sure I'm saying this well, but suicide leaves victims and is not romantic in the least. There is no HEA. Even with Doctor Assisted Suicide, the result is the relief of suffering for the person who dies but not happily-ever-after for those still here. I can understand why people with disabilities and their caretakers and advocates are at best "distressed."
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