Oh yeah. Sing it, Janis!
Janis Joplin singing that Emma Franklin (Aretha's Sister) song just rips out my guts every time. The emotion that woman could pack into a song just gets to me...far above and beyond any mere meaning of the words. (A funny side note: despite making my living as a wordsmith, it takes me a long time to become aware of a song's lyrics. It's the emotion that takes me every time. Occasionally, I get incredibly embarrassed when I discover that a song has very different lyrics than the emotional delivery. Rocking out to Pat Benatar's Hell Is For Children in the early '80s comes to mind.)
Anyway, this month I gave up another little piece of my heart (Keep singing it, Janis!). I finished a whole series.
When I finish a book, there is a celebration, absolutely. I created a good conclusion to a story. I found the story's ending, happy if it's a romance (as this one was) or at least satisfying (like a thriller or SF). And I achieved another book, which is still a surprise every time.
There's also a sadness. Those characters who I've come to know and love during the course of the book, their story is done. They'll now move into the background of future books, or perhaps depart entirely. This is also true of a short story, but I've only spent days or perhaps a week with those characters, whereas a novel I've often spent months with them on a daily basis--on occasion even a year if I've struggled with their stories. So there is sadness mixed with the pleasure.
But to end a series? That is an effort that spans years. In the case of Henderson's Ranch, it has been four years. In that time, I've spent five short stories and three novels roaming the hills of the Front Range under Montana's Big Sky. Emily Beale (my Night Stalkers and Firehawks series heroine) has retired there. And, as Emily always does, she has attracted an amazing group of woman around her. (And, as amazing women do, the men are pretty freaking awesome as well.)
In Big Sky Dog Whisperer I felt that I finally really understood what I'd been writing about all along in this series. I was writing about family. Not the family of romantic love between a couple, or even couple and kid(s). Henderson's Ranch is an eight-story homage to family of the heart. To belong we don't need to be perfect or pretend we're undamaged. It is a place where we're embraced as we are for who we are.
To say that I cried while writing this book...well, yeah, in a number of places. There's a lot of me in every book I write, but with Stan and Jodie this was especially true. No, I was never a battle-injured dog handler and they both were, but there's a lot of my personal doubts and fears in them.
Then halfway through the book, I realized that this was the end of this particular series.
Sometimes I know and it's planned that way. Midnight Trust was book #4 of my Delta Force series and the last book, at least for that team. But this was a given because in book #1, I set up a four-person team who book-by-book find true love.
Sometimes they end in an unexpected way. Firehawks was originally a six-book series. Then I decided that my #5 hero and my #6 heroine were perfect for each other, so it would be a five-book series. And they were perfect for each other, except for a few complications, like the arrival of another heroine on the scene...which is part of what makes writing so much fun.
But Big Sky Dog Whisperer caught me completely by surprise as a series ender. The funny thing was that my characters knew it long before I did. (Like music, I was tuned into the emotion of the story and wasn't really seeing the story of the words even though I was the one writing them.)
I suddenly had characters who I didn't think had any place in the story insisting on a cameo. What had started as a romance, with a few friends and a mentor for the heroine, bloomed into a view of the whole Henderson's Ranch world. Half again longer than the other two novels in the series, the story and characters spilled across the pages.
And when the book was complete, there was a sudden aching void in my chest. Henderson's Ranch was done. The characters had told their tales and would now live on their lives without me. I know some of what their future holds, but their written story is complete.
How do I know this?
I know it because now some part of me is also complete. Family has always been a challenge for me. But I've now been married for a third of my life and we're closer than ever. My kid...well, I'm one of those parents, so don't get me started. I also have a family of friends, some who've known me for decades. And discovering that family as part of writing about the dogs and handlers of Henderson's Ranch, has somehow healed the part of me that made this series happen in the first place.
So it is with a deep mixture of joy and sadness, of self-discovery and satisfaction, of understanding one more piece of the joy of family, that I say goodbye to that world.
Discovering family is what drove me to write that entire series, though I didn't know it at the time.
What drives you to write? If you're like me, its far deeper than you realize.
M.L.
"Matt" Buchman has over 60 novels, 70 short stories, and a
fast-growing pile of audiobooks out in the world. M.L. writes romance,
thrillers, and SF&F…so far. Three-times Booklist "Top-10 Romance Novel
of the Year." NPR and B&N "Best 5 Romance of the Year." RITA
finalist. As a 30-year project manager with a geophysics degree who has:
designed and built houses, flown and jumped out of planes, and bicycled solo
around the world, he is awed by what's possible. More at: www.mlbuchman.com.
6 comments:
Matt, writing reminds me of what I know about myself and the world around me, what's important to me, etc. It also has been a place where I've exposed a piece of my life through one or more of my characters. And it's where I hope to show the power of love to heal anything. Not that it is particular easy but it is possible. We can have peace and love in our lives and our world if we only give up revenge and fear. As I said, not easy but possible if we want peace and love enough.
Matt, I've always wondered the answer to your question. The answer is elusive. Ideas-usually snippets of a scene, or a character-come to me. The next thing I know characters are talking to me, others demanding their own story. I just released a story I wrote a number of years ago. It was a stand-alone, until characters half way through presented themselves. Now, with four books written, two more half written, and more ideas-I've had to totally rewrite the first book to reflect the series to follow. And, you are right, it is about letting out our own insecurities, fears, wants, needs, dreams, that come out in the fictional written word and as part of our character's lives. As an aside - my high school classmate, Alice Echols, a professor at USC - wrote a book about Janis Joplin and that whole era of musicians. Scars of Sweet Paradise. The review of her book was my first book review, written for our alumni magazine. I wrote it at about the same time I wrote my first novel (which is hidden away somewhere).
Matt, that Janis Joplin song tears my heart out every time too. I'm heading into a series end this year as well (4 novels, 2 novellas, and short story).
I absolutely believe we write novels that that reflect ourselves, our journey, our battles, and certainly our emotions--whether they are from a previous time or right now. Interesting about your search for family and now feeling that you've found what you needed and that makes it the right time to end your series. I identify with those thoughts.
When I write, I am tackling issues that speak loudly to me. But then I need to move on--not necessarily because I've changed the world but because I've said all I had to say about those challenges. The series I'm ending this year is my Sweetwater Canyon series. It was first conceived nine years ago. I specifically wanted to do two things with the series: 1) Write about an all female American band; and 2) Write about women where sex wasn't easy and was a lot more than chemistry.
I wanted to write about an all female band because I surmised that their issues in working together and traveling together would be expressed and experienced very different from those of an all male band. Certainly some things are the same, like the grind, the jealousies, the day-to-day gigging. But I believed that women would handle those ups and downs and probably share their lives more deeply than men--or at least any biographies of bands I've ever read. I followed an American Band for two weeks, riding in their motorhome from gig to gig and listening to their daily lives. It was invaluable.
I wanted to write about women and their sexuality being very complex because I was bombarded by romance novels where sex was easy, complete chemistry and very little discussion or thought as to the toll it takes emotionally. It was also at a time when erotica was becoming more prevalent in romance and I didn't like the disassociation of sex and love that implied.
Like you said, It will be bittersweet. Kind of like kids growing up and moving out on their own. You will miss having them around, but you'll also love having the time and energy to learn something new and to pursue directions you couldn't before. The only scary thing is if the fanbase I built for Sweetwater Canyon will follow me elsewhere. We will see. I hope so.
I'm really looking forward to your new work. It sounds exciting and challenging both for you to write and more challenging for me to read. In any case, I know it will be you on the page in any case.
Another great post, M.L. Like you, I often discover what a book or series is about while writing. There's something about the setting or character that gets me started, but the rest comes out later on.
May you enjoy releasing this book and exploring a new one!
Lynn
Matt, Great post! So far when I ended a series it was with relief, but my mystery series..., Those will be tough because I am 150% invested in the characters. I would say what makes me write is justice or injustice however you want to call it. I write to show an injustice or to make the world, at least in my books right.
Thanks so much for all the sincere answers. Yay! I'm not alone in the bewildering forest! (Always comforting to learn.) Do we write for what we love and what we wish for? Is horror writing when we do the opposite?
It just came up for me, while answering a question this morning, that my apocalyptic SF (which most of my SF is) may be dark, but it is also in a way positive. It's a cautionary tale leaning toward a future I want or feel is important.
Is Maggie's band about seeking connection or community? Is Paty's mystery about the joy of the puzzle? And so on and so on. Hmmm...
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