Tuesday, March 19, 2019

"If I Could Live for a Week in Any Time Period" by Delsora Lowe


When I was thirty-five, I finally graduated from college. I had an Associate Degree, earned at age nineteen, but then I went on to get married and have children. I was old enough to know what I wanted when I worked on obtaining a Bachelor Degree to finish my last two years of college, while holding down four part-time jobs and raising two young teens.
Margaret Sanger 1922


I fought with the administration of the college, and finally won the right to declare an independent major in Women’s Studies. My thesis was on women’s roles in history and sociology (my loosely-based minors to shore up my self-designed major) using, in part, my grandmother’s work with Margaret Sanger in New York City for my final thesis. I can’t remember how old my grandmother was during her time in NYC, but I will guess 20-25, so she would have been doing this work in around 1915-20.


Now many years later, my mind is foggy on the details and I cannot find the tape recording I made as my grandmother related her experiences, nor can I find my thesis (I think they are in a box in the basement somewhere). But one thing I do remember is my grandmother’s interview and her shrugging and stating her experience was no big deal. To me, a feminist and a student of women’s history, it was the biggest deal ever to know my grandmother, Dolly, was a huge part of the women’s movement history in our country.

My Grandmother "Dolly,"
Charlotte More Meloney, around 1915-20
So, as someone who has never claimed to be brave, I would love to not only put on my brave face but be able to follow my grandmother around for one week during that part of her life. She was a dynamic and brave woman, a huge role model in the way she led her life. I remember when I interviewed her, how she told me when she died and came back in another form, she hoped to be a nurse in Appalachia, riding horseback through the mountains to care for people. She would never marry. I told her that now she could be a doctor, the dream she gave up, and be married too. She shook her head and vowed to stick to her first plan of reincarnation.


My grandmother had attended college as a pre-med student, one of eight women in the course. Four went on to med school. Four married and raised families. My grandmother was in the latter group. She divorced when my mother was twenty-five. My grandfather went on to marry three more times. In Dolly’s mind, and in line with the era in which she lived, she had to make choices.


To me, going back in time and living that one week alongside my grandmother, would be an exhilarating adventure. I can’t imagine the hard work, the stress, the fear of doing work that was considered illegal at the time, all to help give women a choice in what they did with their own bodies. But I know in my heart, I could not stand up to the work and dedication shown by women like Margaret Sanger and my grandmother. Maybe it is my own fear to go out on a limb. Maybe in my younger days, I may have been that brave. I’d like to think so.

Suffragist March, 1913, Washington, DC.

I recently read a romance, Escape to the Biltmore, by Patricia Riddle Gaddis, based in the era during the time my grandmother was probably weighing her college and work options. The story is about two doctors who meet and end up working together. The heroine, an unmarried female who knew
By Patricia Riddle Gaddis
her choice to become a doctor precluded her from ever marrying. The hero, a doctor who was a product of his environment and the era in which he lived. It’s a romance, as I said, so you can guess what happens in the end. But up until then, Gaddis does a magnificent job of portraying how each character handles the life they have chosen and the societal parameters imposed on each.

Reading this novel, brought back all the memories of my grandmother’s stories. I wish she were still here today, to see that she could have had both—a career she was passionate about that would meld with the chance to include having love and a family.


Here’s to my grandmother and all the women who paved the way. And here is to generations of women who follow my generation, who will continue to work and love hard, as they make this world a better place in which to live. And here’s a salute to Women’s History Month.


P.S. Next time we have this topic, remind me to tell you about my actress aunt turned military pilot during WWII. Another brave and inspiring woman.



Delsora Lowe writes small town sweet romances and contemporary westerns from the mountains of Colorado to the shores of Maine

~ cottages to cabins ~ 
~ keep the home fires burning ~



Lowe’s family visits to Colorado are the inspiration for an upcoming contemporary western series, Cowboys of Mineral Springs, book one to be released in April 2019. And her daughter’s wedding and her son’s home, both on the coast of Maine, provided plentiful ideas for the Starlight Grille series (released in 2017 and 2018).

LINKS:
Delsora Lowe FB Page: fb.me/delsoraloweauthor
Delsora Lowe Website: www.delsoralowe.com
Delsora Lowe Amazon Author Page: http://amzn.to/2nRx1Bs 
Delsora Lowe Books2Read Author Page: https://www.books2read.com/ap/8GWm98/Delsora-Lowe
Delsora Lowe Author Newsletter signup (only sent out when there is news): http://www.delsoralowe.com/contact.html
Delsora Lowe Author Blog; http://www.delsoralowe.com/blog
Goodreads Author Page: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/16045986.Delsora_Lowe

BookBub Author Page: https://www.bookbub.com/profile/3829267554
Escape to the Biltmore -Buy on Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/Escape-Biltmore-Patricia-Riddle-Gaddis-book/dp/B07FWDFQHV/



Photo Credits: 
Margaret Sanger 1922: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:MargaretSanger-Underwood.LOC.jpg; Library of Congress Prints and Photographs division, reproduction number LC-USZ62-29808.
Suffragist March in Washington DC 1913, Women suffragists marching on Pennsylvania Avenue led by Mrs. Richard Coke Burleson (center on Horseback) U.S. Capitol in background (Library of Congress)

20 comments:

Judith Ashley said...

Delsora, I am ever so grateful for the work your grandmother, Dolly and Margaret Sanger did to cleave a path to a woman's right to control her own body as well as the suffragists who marched so we now have the right to vote. If not for these brave and committed women, I'm not sure we'd be ab;e to have this conversation much less the lives we've created for ourselves. And thank you for the information on Patricia Riddle Gaddis's book "Escape to the Biltmore" I don't buy my books on Amazon but I'll check to see if she is published elsewhere.

Sue Ward Drake said...

Love these recollections. Isn't it wonderful to find someone in our families who are so inspiring. Fascinating.

Barbara Rae Robinson said...

What a life your grandmother had! You could have done it too. Look at the dedication you showed when you went back to college when you had two teenagers. My kids were younger when I started college as a freshman, but I never regretted it. We do have to live our own lives.

And your grandmother was a true pioneer in the women's movement. I applaud her and I applaud you for telling her story. I hope you find your thesis.

JENNIFER WILCK said...

Oh wow, I would have loved to meet your grandmother. She sounds fascinating!

Lynn Lovegreen said...

Beautiful post, Delsora. You are right that we owe those women for the advantages we have today.

Deb N said...

Judith - I answered your post earlier but it didn't go through. I did find out that her book is on other vendors - I think Nook and others. Studying women's history was eye-opening. All that was ever mentioned in my high school and college courses, were what men did and mostly about presidents and war. When you look at what women did and do all over the worked and through history, this planet would not have survived without their work.

Deb N said...

Sue - my grandmother was inspiring, even as a child when I didn't understand the way of the world. She helped everyone in town. She was strong-minded. AND she made her own soap out of lye and lard, made dandelion wine, made yummy homemade desserts (which were inspiration when I became a restaurant cook). To me she was a superwoman before that term became popular.

Susan Vaughan said...

What a wonderful grandmother Dolly must have been. Such an inspiring woman, and to have worked with Margaret Sanger! Thank you for sharing her story.

Deb N said...

Barb - I think the thesis is buried in a box in the basement. One of these days I will clean it out. I would like to think I would be as brave, but truly, I'm not so sure. :-)

Deb N said...

Jennifer - I truly wished I had explored her past much earlier than I did. She was a font of information about our family history. Luckily, she did write things down on the backs of photos and paintings and stuck under antiques that came down through the family. Had I been older when she told stories, I would have had a notepad and taken notes :-)

Deb N said...

Lynn - stumbling onto a woman's history class at the college I worked at as a fraternity chef, was the best thing to ever happen to me. Women's history made history come alive for me. And to this day, I still run into my professor in the grocery store. She is the same age I am, since I went back to school in my 30's. She also taught me a lot about not only history, but being a strong woman and backed me when "I dared" to declare an independent course of study and degree in women's history at a college that had been all male and still held those "views" fifteen years after becoming co-ed. I had to fight the male administrators :-) And finally won!

Maggie Robinson said...

I knew you came of superior stock, LOL. You are so lucky you got to interview her--there are so many things I would have loved to ask all my grandparents. I'm mindful now of trying to tell my kids and grandchildren of my own Dark Ages!

Deb N said...

Susan - I was so wowed when she told me. She basically said it was no big deal, knowing Margaret Sanger. She was just a woman doing her job like any other woman. ME - as I listened - starry eyed, the whole time Dolly told her story. Talk about history coming alive. All those fights a hundred years ago, and sadly history is reverting back to that long ago time. But new heroines are emerging and keeping up the fight.

Deb N said...

Maggie - HA! I guess the "good thing" about these dark ages is so much of it is plastered all over the internet. But you are right, I must remember to tell those stories to my kids and grandchildren.

Anna Taylor Sweringen said...

Absolutely fascinating, Deb. Thanks for sharing.

Deb N said...

Anna - thanks for stopping by. I knew you'd like this one, with all the history :-)

Maggie Lynch said...

What a wonderful opportunity for you to get to know your own Grandmother was so critical to the women's movement! But I am personally amazed at you. Working FOUR part time jobs while raising teenagers! There is another example of perseverance and still fighting for women's right to pursue the careers they want.

It's interesting the turn your grandmother's life took, in terms of being divorced young and never re-marrying. So many independent women did end up divorced. They simply didn't fit the mold of a "proper" wife and that caused great tension. A few women, primarily women who moved west into the frontier were able to pursue their passion as a doctor because the west was in such need of them.

Like you, I often wonder if I would have had the courage to step out at such a young age for what I believed was right. For myself, at 25, I was going through a divorce as well and blaming myself for not being a proper wife. I had put my husband through graduate school and he was moving to Texas for his job. I just couldn't imagine going with him and leading the life he wanted/needed me to lead -- always the woman behind the man. I truly felt that I had failed as a woman in every way. And that was in the late 1970's.

So, it goes to show that women's roles may have loosened in the 1920's but the majority of the population were still well ensconced in specified gender roles even fifty years later. Definitely to share these stories with your children and your grandchildren, and nieces and nephews and everyone else. I think that women's voice in history is still not taught as mainstream--at least in High Schools.

Even in colleges, that fact that there is still a major called "Women's Studies" points to the fact that learning about women's role in history is still considered a "specialty."

Jessica Lauryn said...

Wonderful blog, Delsora! If I had the chance to go back in time and interview my grandmothers I'd definitely take it! Your grandmother sounds like an amazing woman.

Deb N said...

Maggie - so true. The 70's I see as another defining moment for women. At least for me, having gone to high school in the 60s, it started to make sense then. It was when I started understanding the role women still played in society (or rather "their place".) It is also when I got married, raised kids, and earned a living as a waitress, so I could devote time to family. I graduated from a 2-yr school with an Associate degree. Then I got involved in women's issues, after seeing the discrimination and inequity. And helped start the Women's Studies" department at the college I attended. It is still a battle and seems to be going backwards. So, more battles to fight. Whew. It does get rather tiring, always having to fight for equality for not just women, but for most groups of people. And yes, learning along the way from my grandmother and aunt, did help me see that I needed to continue the battle in my own little way :-) Thanks for stopping by and making me think more deeply about the role each of us plays, still, in the history of women.

Deb N said...

Jessica, It is always amazing to speak to people who lived so much earlier then you did. Now I wish I had learned more about my grandfather. And my other set of grandparents. We traveled so much, living overseas for dad's work, I didn't get as much interaction with my grandparents as I wished. Thanks for checking in and reading about my grandmother.