Friday, February 28, 2020

On being different....

The theme this month is Marching to the Beat of a Different Drummer.

If they ever write a biography starring me, that's definitely the title. With the subtitle Shit Happens!

For as long as I can remember - and that's pretty far back - I haven't been like anyone else in my family. Let me explain...

My family  members smoke and drank. Often. To excess, many times. I have never had a cigarette and don't drink alcohol.

My parents never graduated from high school and certainly didn't go to college. I have a Masters Degree in Nursing Administration with a minor in Geriatric Psychology.

My parents have never been on a plane or traveled outside the United States. I've already filled up two passports.

My parents, although raised Catholic, haven't been inside a church since I was married 33 years ago. I attend Mass every week.

My parents don't read. Anything. Not newspapers, not books, not magazines. All the information they get is from television. I not only read 2-3 books a week, I write 3-4 per year, and I have have a daily blog, plus I write monthly columns for 2 other blogs and participate in a weekly blogging challenge through Long and Short Reviews e-zine.

My parents are isolationists. They have no close friends and rarely leave their house. I have a wide circle of friends I love, even though I'm an introvert.

There were many times in my life I truly wondered if my parents found me on a door step or a pumpkin patch because I am nothing like them. At all.

Genetics is usually a key factor in how people will behave, and what your genes don't decide, your environment will. I can't explain why my faith has carried me through my life when my parents didn't choose to participate in it. I can't explain why I knew - knew without an iota of doubt - that education was the way for me to advance in the world. And there's no viable explanation why my marriage has lasted longer than both my mother's and father's remarriages have.

So, I just accept the reality that for some reason I am different from the people who birthed and raised me. Those differences have led me to some amazing paths in my 59 years and will probably continue to do so. The whole nature vs. nurture hypothesis is one I think about. A  lot. For me, it just seems that my true nature was, and is, to be different. Or to use the theme for this month, that it's made me march to the beat of a different drummer for all those around me and who raised me.

I write RomCom and contemporary romance books about strong women, the families who support them and the men who can't live without them. And if I had to say it, those women, too, march to the beat of a different drummer!
I love Social Media so much! You can usually find me here: 


Until next time, peeps ~ Peg

12 comments:

Barbara Bettis said...

What a fabulous post!! And that drummer you follow is spectacular :) May you never lose step!!

peggy jaeger said...

Barbara - I lovelovelove all your support and positive messages! Bless you

Judith Ashley said...

Peggy, I do think we are born distinctly ourselves, an amalgamation of genes and chromosomes that is uniquely us. And we can be nurtured by someone and something other than our parents/home environment. However, in myself I see some paths I've taken have been purposefully chosen to not be like my parents so in that way they were an inspiration to me - perhaps not exactly as they might have wished but an inspiration nonetheless.

So glad you made the choices you did and are here with us this last Friday of the month.

Liz Flaherty said...

A great post. I don't exactly fit, either. My kids have told me I'm a...I think the term is cultural anomaly. Looking into my genetics, I can see how I came to be who I am, but I've been an unpleasant shock to some of my family. :-)

JENNIFER WILCK said...

Fantastic! Being different is awesome, and the fact that you've been able to successfully navigate a different path is something to be proud of.

peggy jaeger said...

Judith - thank you for your kind words. The path hasn't been easy, but sososos worth it!

peggy jaeger said...

LIz isn't it amazing how many of us who do not "fit in" the way we should are writers???? I think that says a lot.

peggy jaeger said...

Jen- thank you for those kind words!! !You can't know how much I apprecciate them!

Maggie Lynch said...

Wow, that is a definite polar opposite in terms of life choices.

Like others have said, I do believe that children are born with a unique set of gene expressions that are different from each child. Though the obvious ones are things like height, weight, eye color or hair color, they now know there are also genes for intelligence, optimism or pessimism, and other behavioral aspects.

Being close to your age, though a little older, I was in college at the height of the nature-nurture debate. At that time the belief was it was 50/50 but no one had proof. Science today has learned that gene expression can actually change based on many environmental factors including nurturing or lack of nurturing.

We are all happy that whatever that combination of genes and the people outside of your family who entered your life, it made you into the amazing person you are.

AmorinaRose said...

Loved the warmth that poured from your post. I too am very different from my immediate family, or was. Sometimes I really thought an alien had left me behind. Great post

Sarah Raplee said...

Great post, Peg! I like what you pointed out about us writers...just sayin'.

Deb N said...

Peg - it is amazing how inspiration can come from negative things. Doing something differently to counterbalance what that individual perceives has been taught by influencers as not being healthy. I also look at outside influences in my life - other women in my parent's generation, or grandparent's influence, teachers, other mentors, workmates,and of course, so many writers who I have come to know personally and are a great influence on me. Great post!