I managed to muck up my days, this month and thought that this blog was due next week. An email from one of our coordinators woke me up from this misconception, for which I’m very grateful. Even though time was short, I allowed myself a couple of days to let ideas come to the surface but not a lot happened!
I thought about a scene that scared me the most, about a near-drowning. But I later cut it from the book so I probably shouldn’t use that one. It may appear in another book one day because I love it, but it wasn’t right for the tone of that book and was sadly cut. I was, however, genuinely frightened while writing that.
So what to write? With the deadline for the blog to go live looming, I was starting to feel a bit panicked. You could say scared that I would fail. But, finally, this morning, something in me snapped to attention. In every book I write, it’s the black moment or the all is lost scene when my hero is faced with their greatest fear. I’m feeling pretty scared for them and often, I don’t know how it’s going to work out.
One of these scenes, I’d like to share is from a yet to be published work. A successful singer is afraid of being caught in the spotlight during a vulnerable moment because a photo of her when a young child appeared in the newspaper and caused her father to lose custody of her. Something deeply personal happens to her on center stage at a huge concert. All the cell phone flashes make her panic and mishandle the situation badly. It was so terrifying that she ended up rejecting the love of her life publically.
A public failure has to be one of the scariest failures, which we go to great lengths to avoid. But writers and anyone who is performing for the public all have to accept the fear of not being enough or making a complete hash of it.
When writing this scene, I called upon memories of stage fright. Hundreds of eyes on me waiting for me to entertain them and me not remembering the steps. My mind blank and body rigid with terror, it was hard to breathe and my heart pounded. I overcame it and focused on the girl in front of me, then I remembered the steps. But what if I hadn’t, what would have happened? It was scary to write. However, without the scary, there isn’t a challenge and the feel-good pay off when there’s a success.
I’ll keep writing through writer feelings equivalent to stage fright, and get those scary scenes written, because I think we all like to be a bit frightened sometimes while being safely tucked up somewhere with a good book. Also, my books will always have everything turn out alright in the end.
Thanks for stopping by to read this month’s blog contribution.
Dora Bramden writes
heart-melting, passionate, romance.
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5 comments:
Dora, I agree that writing those scary scenes are more effective for the reader when we, the writer, relive or immerse ourselves into our characters so we think, feel and do what they are doing in the moment. What's always amazing to me is the physical feelings that you described...mind blank, body rigid with terror. When we reach that state of connection in our scary scenes, our stories are always more powerful.
I loved that you wrote about black moment scenes, and about drawing on your own emotional experiences with fear to write vivid, evocative scenes. These scenes can make or break a story.
I agree Judith. It helps to remember what we feel physically when we are frightened.
Yes, Sarah. I always remember watching Star Wars and being scared for Luke, when he had to face his greatest fear. For me it was stage fright. Every year I had to confront it when I was learning ballet.
You bring up an important point about "public failure." I don't see that written about very often. In many ways public failure is even more painful than personal failure that you can work on yourself or with a few close friends or a therapist. But public failure as hundreds or sometimes thousands of people suddenly becoming armchair psychiatrists or pundits around YOUR failure.
I do feel for people who lead lives of celebrity, be they chosen or not. It is a life that is at once surreal but certainly real in the way it effects the individual on a daily basis. Do your books deal with this public failure with your characters?
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