Wednesday, February 3, 2021

The Science of Love

 By Robin Weaver

Perhaps because it’s close to Valentine’s Day, there seems to be an abundance of ads for online dating companies. One of those services claims to match couples on umpteen categories of compatibility. While I think dating sites can provide a way to meet new people (with proper safety precautions), I’m compelled to ask: Can people really find love via a questionnaire?

To my knowledge, no happy couple ever said: “We had the same answer on 72 questions and have been inseparable ever since.” No, what the lovestruck typically says is: "I just knew." (*The amount of time required for the knowledge varies from person-to-person.) Obviously, I’m talking eros—or romantic love, not the love of friends, children, or world peace. Specifically, I mean the magical, practically undefinable, make-you-crazy miracle that occurs when the chemistry is right between two people. 

So how, exactly, how do we “just know?”

According to some scientists, a little thingy called a pheromone might be tweaking the old heartstrings. Even scientists aren’t clear what role these little critters play in finding love, or probably more accurately—in sexual attraction. Pheromones, if the research is correct, act like little Cupids. The precise definition of the pheromone has been debated since pheromones were first identified in 1959, but supposedly, we secret a substance that can be detected by another creature of the same species. I don’t know about you, but nothing about secretions sounds sexy.  Still, that secretion theoretically can cause sexual arousal in the recipient. 

Can love (aka mating) be as simple as picking up on the chemical cues? Possibly. Humans and other animals can distinguish thousands of odors with our noses. So why not love smells?

For over 50 years, scientists have known insects and animals can release chemicals detectible by other creatures.  For sea urchins, the relationship between pheromones and mating is undeniable. These ocean nymphs release pheromones into the water that triggers other urchins to eject their sex cells simultaneously--I wouldn't want to swim in that water!

The female silk moth releases a trail of bombykol which never fails to attract her man (or men).   A molecule in male mouse urine accelerates puberty in young Minnies.  (And we thought pubescent pimples and training bras were bad.)

According to some studies, human pheromones are “highly individualized, and not always noticeable.”  Well, duh.  If the aren’t noticeable…never mind. More important, if pheromones do play a role in love (aka attraction), do our individual signals seek out specific mates, or do we just attract the first available recipient. Ay-yi-yi. I’m so confused.  And I’m not alone.  Research has made little progress in defining exactly how—or even if—these mysterious pheromones affect us humans.

Scientists have had some success in demonstrating exposure to body odor gets responses in humans. They suspect that armpit is sending all kinds of signals from casual flirtation to panic alerts. Pheromones might be present in all bodily secretions and most studies are specifically geared toward sweat.  In 1986, Dr. Winifred Cutler, co-discovered pheromones in our underarms. Her team found that once any overbearing underarm sweat was removed, odorless materials containing pheromones remained.* Assuming our pits do contain love signals, does deodorant block more that stink?

(*The validity of this study is now in question. Praise Cupid.)

·       First—ewww!

·       Second, if you have a cold, does that mean you shouldn’t bother?

·       Third, if pheromones are emitted via your pits and sweat is an aphrodisiac, singles should forgot bars and dating services and go directly to the gyn—eh, I mean gym.

If love truly in our sense of smell, that might explain why Eskimos rub noses.**

(**Previous statement is probably politically incorrect, no matter how adorable.)

I don’t know about you, but this science geek has had enough pheromone talk.  I’d rather believe love is finding your split-apart.  For those of you who haven’t seen The Butcher’s Wife (which, BTW, is an excellent Valentine Day movie), the idea is souls were “split apart” at the beginning of time and the two halves search for one another to regain a sense of wholeness.  Kinda fits with the Big Bang, huh?

As the day of lovers approaches, I’d like to send a special valentine nose-rub to my Eskimo, T.  And a very happy V-Day to all of you!  May the pheromones be with you--assuming they can get past your mask.


10 comments:

Linda Lovely said...

Great humor, as always! A very fun read.

Judith Ashley said...

Robin, I absolutely love the way you mix science and fact and humor. A very happy V-Day to you also...and now that I'm double masking when at the store or other in door places, I doubt any pheromones can get to me. Should I be ecstatic or sad? Hmmm

Robin Weaver, Author said...

Too funny, Judith!

Lorraine said...

Love your humor. Your blog brought a smile to my day. Thanks! And Happy Valentine's Day to everyone.

Diana McCollum said...

I love the blend of science and romance with a dash of humor. Great post! Had me smiling. Happy Valentine's to everyone.

Anonymous said...

A special valentine nose-rub to my Eskimo R. Loved the blog :)

Sarah Raplee said...

Awesome post, Robin, as usual. Hilarious!!!

Connelley said...

Enjoyed the read, as always. :)

Eleri Grace said...

There is a dating service that uses DNA saliva sample to match people via pheromones -- I've forgotten the name of it and have no idea if they managed to stay in business or not. Conceptually, I couldn't decide if I loved it or hated it.

Maggie Lynch said...

As always your wit brings out the often ridiculous nature of some science. Being a former researcher myself, I know that one can find correlation among almost anything. But causation is something completely different and especially difficult to prove with any accuracy when it comes to cultural phenomenon because there are simply far too many variables to track.

I agree with you that dating services may provide an interesting list of people to get to know. For those who haven't taken the time to determine what IS important to them in a partner, perhaps the questionnaire helps them to reflect. However, I think most people (at least in America) still believe in that indefinable "connection" that is both magical and confirming of whatever one wants to believe.

Unfortunately, the 50% divorce rate tells me that magic fails too often. When it comes to love, we err on the side of confirmation bias rather than taking a hard look at things that may not be working and accept that it is not always wine and roses.

Perhaps that is the way it is meant to be. After all, if we took off our rose-colored classes and clearly saw into the future and what was in store with that romantic relationship--hard work, forgiveness of small things, adapting to differences, negotiating power, and finding a way to still maintain that magic in spite of the work required--would we ever engage in it?

When I was 21 I would have said no way. I was looking for my soulmate, my prince charming, the love I saw in fairy tales and in romantic movies. At 45 I was looking for someone who could weather the hard work, could adapt without checking out, and yet still looked for the magic and joy and embraced it when it happened. There weren't any online questionnaires that could provide those answers, only in person experience.