I must admit that this month's topic -- Peace --was a difficult one for me to wrap my brain around and write about. Usually, my blogs are already written and scheduled weeks before they need to be posted. Not this month.
After much consideration and thought, I finally figured I'd write about something near and dear to me: peace of mind.
Let me 'esplain.
I've been dealing with several family issues of late at opposite ends of the life spectrum.
Many of you may know my mother recently broke her second hip in three years due to a fall at home. My parents, Mom is 85, and stepdad is 83, live in a mobile home 25 miles from me in another state. They have been self-sufficient and independent forever and they are a bit isolationist, in that they have no family ( except me) or friends. They were housebound for 16 months during the height of the pandemic and I have been relegated to managing their lives for them. I cook for them, pay their bills, shop for them and clean their house once a week. While my mother spent 2 months in the rehab center learning how to walk again, I would travel twice weekly to see her and take my stepdad to visit her. He was lost without her. They have been married almost 60 years and have done, and do, everything together as a unit. My parents never learned how to drive a car so I am their sole means of transport anywhere.
I don't tell you all this for any other reason but this: my mother was sent home last month from the rehab and since then I have been visiting them twice a week, and still doing all the above for them, but my peace of mind comes from knowing they are together again and able to continue to live in their own home. Yes, I run it for them and basically manage their lives, but they are together. My parents are that quintessential couple where if one partner dies, the other will die soon after of a broken heart.
To know I can keep them in their own home, together, until that happens makes my heart and mind calm.
The other end of the spectrum is that my daughter is having her first child in a few months. And as any potential grandmother would, I was very worried in the beginning that she would have a good pregnancy. She really didn't because she was tired and nauseous for almost 6 months - just like I was with her. Apples and trees, people; apples and trees. Plus, she got pregnant during the pandemic, so my anxiety went through the roof.
But, she has crossed over into her seventh month and all is well. She has a wonderful, supportive, and loving husband and excellent access to health care. She is healthy, happy and finally feeling like her old self. Well, as much as she can with a baby on board, so my peace of mind has returned. Yes, I'm still worried about the delivery and the first three months of the baby's life, but I am secure in the hope that all will be well.
Peace of mind is an elusive thing nowadays. Worry about Covid, the economy, my mortality and that of those around me, the horrible state of the world right now, have all taken a toll on me the last year. To be granted some peace of mind, body and spirit is a life-sustaining aspect of my daily existence.
So, I'll end with a quote that I have always loved:
4 comments:
Wow, Peggy, you've truly got a lot on your plate. I wish you a peaceful summer.
Sadira - thanks. I tend to think God won't give me anything he doesn't feel I can handle. Sometimes, though, I wish he thought a little less of me, LOL! I could use a rest.
Peggy, you are the epitome of the sandwich generation--elderly parents who need help on one end and children who need support on the other. It is a tough place and does take a lot of energy--both mental and physical energy. Your ending quote is soooo important in this. I try to remind myself of this ALL the time. Worry changes nothing! Yet, it is impossible, for me, to not worry.
This past two years I have been trying a new tactic. I am allowed two hours of non-stop worrying (every day sometimes) and trying to fix it (which I rarely can) or to make plans to alleviate the worst of it. I try to answer all my "what if" questions and even write them down. Then I meditate, pray, and take time to write down all the good things that are happening in my life. finally, I put out the intentionality of things working out as best they possibly can.
I do believe that if I put out that intentionality every day it works on my subconscious and makes me open to new possibilities for positive change in the worrisome situations. By freeing myself of worry and concentrating on the positive outcomes, I am better every day.
I admit I'm not perfect in doing this. There havce been things that happen in my life where I couldn't let go in this way and I paid the price with my sleeplessness and subsequent health consequences. But I keep trying. Hugs and prayers for you and your family.
Maggie _ I am certainly going to try the meditation thing. I have a gratitude journal that I have been lax in writing in, but now, feel I should startup once again!!!
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