What I Learned About Life by Diana Weynand

 What I Learned About Life Playing Women’s Professional Football

by

Diana Weynand

People write for different reasons. My motivation to write is to better understand, or perhaps to simply understand, what I think and feel about a person, memory, or experience. In particular, a moment that lingers, that feels weightier than it seemed destined to be. Perhaps a chance meeting that should have been “one and done,” but lived on in vivid detail past its age-appropriate shelf life. While it’s natural for memories to fade over time, there are some that never die.

One such experience for me was playing in the Women’s Professional Football League (WPFL) about 20 years ago. I’d grown up playing street football with siblings, then marched on football fields in my high school and college bands (Hook ‘Em Horns!). Every Thanksgiving, like millions of other Americans, I’d take a break from cooking to toss the football back and forth between generations. For as long as I could remember, watching football had inspired me—to try harder, face a challenge, pick a different approach, build a better team, play like a quarterback, think like a coach, and never give up. I got everything I needed to inspire my life journey through American football. And that was off the field.

Diana Weynand in pads

Never in my wildest imagination had I thought I’d have the chance to actually play women’s tackle football—in a real game, on freshly-cut grass, under stadium lights, much less experience the thrill of throwing the ball 26 yards or leaping midair for a game-saving interception. But that day did come, and it was an unforgettable experience that changed my life.

At 6,000 thoughts a day, it’s remarkable for a month-old human memory to stand out. Yet my 20-year-old memories of playing women’s professional football never faded. In fact, years after I put myself on the field to “hold that line,” the volume of the niggling question—How did that experience change my life?—kept getting louder. Then the question multiplied. Why had I felt so bold wearing shoulder pads? Why had the field, and the world, looked so different from behind a football helmet grill? Was it the audience cheering from the stands? Or the sound of 11 pairs of female cleats shattering a “glass ceiling?” And last but not least, why couldn’t men teach women football?

 bit.ly/bookLF8

It took a global pandemic for me to finally sit down, put my fingers on the keyboard and take my heart’s dictation. The result of this writing sojourn was my teaching memoir, Lipstick Football: 8 Game-Changing Principles to Bust Through Limitations and Achieve the Impossible While Learning the Game of Football.

Some might challenge the notion that a simple set of eight principles can help anyone “achieve the impossible.” That’s a pretty tall order—but think about it. Don’t sports provide the opportunity to do just that? Take the last play of a game when the player’s toe lands just inside the white line of the end zone. Sure, it’s a touchdown. But that toe position is no fluke. It’s mastery. It represents not only physical control, but mental toughness as well as focused intent. The truth is—by bringing mastery, intent, and focus to our own lives, any one of us can overcome the limiting belief that something is impossible. That’s where the LIPSTICK Football method kicks in.

First, let’s start with the second word in the title. The framework of American football is an ideal representation of a successful person’s process. The game is linear. It moves forward in progressive increments. It’s a team sport. You don’t have to go it alone. And you don’t have to get all the way down the field in one go. You get four tries to go just 10 yards—1/10th of your destination. “I can do that!“ And unlike soccer, you can stop and think about your next move before initiating your next action play. But don’t wait too long. There’s a 40-second play clock that starts at the end of one play and counts down to the beginning of the next. If you haven’t initiated action at the end of the 40 seconds, you get a “delay of game” penalty, similar to the kickback you feel when you let life’s opportunities pass you by.

We all have a position to play if we want to win.

And let’s get this unexpected, little-known fact out of the way—men can’t teach women football. There, I’ve said it! Men’s knowledge of football is as a 3D sport. From pitch and catch with Dad, to Pop Warner, the high school team, then college, and maybe even the NFL. Boys and men had scores of opportunities to suit up, hit the field and experience the game. Women understand football as a 2D sport, by watching games on TV with their mates, or taking their sons to practice and watching them play from the bleachers. Men don’t know where to begin to break down this fast, intricate, and infinitely complex sport. So, in my book, I slowed the pace and explained American Football 101 “for the rest of us.” With the emergence of Flag football offered as a girl’s sport in many high schools, this 2D dynamic will hopefully evolve.

And secondly, the first word—Lipstick. At one point as a professional player, I had a collision with another player’s cleats. My injury required stitches and an absence from the field. Rather than sit on the sidelines, I took on the role of General Manager for the team, which added an off-field perspective to my on-field experience. From that view, I started to see there were undeniable life principles at play in every game. Whether players were using them to bust through their personal limitations, or I was using them to make a game plan and condition my team to work as a unit, they were there, albeit undefined at the time.

In thinking back about my team’s process, I realized they needed two things to bust through their personal limitations and win. They needed a clearly defined dream or aspiration they believed in so strongly that no one could push them off their field of dreams. But they couldn’t move their dream downfield if there wasn’t a well-crafted plan. So, to reach the end zone and score, the dream had to be supported by trackable goals and actions—as well as a positive belief system and a ton of mental conditioning. 

If there’s one thing we as women share as our birthright—it’s Lipstick! Whether it’s fire engine red or a neutral lip balm, it’s ours. We own it! With that realization, it quickly became apparent what the principles had to be. The Dreams + Goals concept took shape and the acronym, LIPSTICK, was born. The eight Lipstick Football principles are: Leap, Immerse, Play, Shine, Track, Initiate, Condition, and Kick.

As a coach would say, let’s break it down. Where do you want to go (dream) and how do you want to get there (goals)? The four LIPS principles—Leap, Immerse, Play and Shine—are the Dream principles. With these, you determine your destination and take a leap toward your greatest hope, immerse yourself into a brave new world of knowledge and possibilities, be playful as you evolve your dream into a realistic aspiration, and find where you shine. I wanted to be a quarterback, but I didn’t look like the other quarterback contenders. I was eight inches shorter and 35 pounds lighter. Why stay in a position if it’s not the right fit? Instead, I moved to defensive end. I loved it—and I shined!

Once your destination is set, then—and only then—can you make a plan and initiate action that will get you into the end zone. That’s what the TICK principles do—Track, Initiate, Condition and Kick. They convert an aspiration into a realistic expectation, teach you to initiate aligned actions, recondition old habits and build new winning regimes. They show you how to kick up your efforts a notch. Together, the LF8—LIPS + TICK principles—produce a solid dream with a well-crafted game plan and strategy to bring that dream to life.

As in football, we've many routes to our goal

That’s how you bust through limitations and achieve the impossible! When you use American football to frame your journey and apply the “8 game-changing principles” I learned as a professional player—you can conquer every yard of that 100-yard field. Of course, everyone’s field is different. For some, it might represent a career change. For others, a creative project. And like all principles, the LF8 are meant to be used frequently in all areas of your life. That’s what principles do. They guide you. Keep you on track. They’re like handrails you hold on to for support. But remember, your goal isn’t just to score once, or even win a single game. Your goal is to learn to win in life. 

Now back to writing… My book is what’s called a teaching memoir. I used my personal experience with professional women’s football to teach others about those 8 game-changing principles, which I deciphered only after reflecting on my experience and writing about it. 

Diana Weynand

Many of you have had experiences that could be valuable to others if captured and shared. I invite you to start collecting your story gems by joining my next creative nonfiction writing course for Antioch University, “Inner Ink: Crafting Personal Stories.” Those memories that are hanging on for dear life—are hanging on for a very good reason! It’s your job to preserve them, document them and figure out why they’re so stubborn. Who knows. Maybe by sharing your story you can help others along their path.

Learn more about Diana and Lipstick Football by checking out her website. Do click around and read blog posts and check out her "Extras" page.