Bah, Pumpkins

 

I'll begin by saying Autumn is my favorite time of year. I also have to admit that I had to seek out for this month’s post. When I saw the subject was supposed to relate to pumpkin anything, I wanted to bail.  As much as I love the time of year, and Halloween is MY favorite holiday, I simply don’t do pumpkin as food. Not even pumpkin  pie (give me a slice of sweet potato pie, a  of Black cuisine, thank you very much). 

Nor do I sniff pumpkin spice candles, or chew pumpkin seeds, or consume pumpkin bagels, or pumpkin pancakes or pumpkin spiced soup. And as for pumpkin spice coffee… Well, I’ve heard people call the concoction awesome. I drank one once a few years ago. I watched how carefully, almost lovingly, the barista added multiple ingredientsallspice, cinnamon, nutmeg, and even scrapings of orange peel. I drink some of the result, not completely certain it ven counted as coffee anymore. It was nothing I would bother to have again, or write home about or even write to any of you about. 

In my opinion, the only reason people long for pumpkin spice coffee is because the coffee makers deliberately keep it scarce. Then they proclaim, get it now or you’ll be forced to try to live without for a whole year. Kind of like candy corn, pieces of diabetes in the shape of yellow and orange triangles. It’s not even all that good, but for eleven months of the tear its rarer than diamonds, so people are buying bags of candy corn right now.

So, as I said, I sought help for this month's post. Help came from the application many writers either hate, or love passionately. Artificial Intelligence or AI. Specifically, I asked ChatGPT to explain the virtue of pumpkin spiced foods to me, because I came up empty.

First, it was nice to learn that AI agrees with me about the whole limited time marketing appeal. That incentivizes people to line up and patiently wait to pay big money for something they survive perfectly well without for ten months of the year. AI also noted other factors that work on most humans. So maybe I’m not completely human? Nostalgia is a big one, tying the scent of pumpkin in food, candles and just about anything to childhood memories. I do remember carving a few pumpkins, but my siblings and I never ate any of it or roasted pumpkin seeds. In fact, I mostly remember the sticky mess we had to clean up. Sorry, ChatGPT, none of this bring warm feelings of nostalgia for me.

The AI almost grew poetic when giving details about the flavor profile of pumpkin spices. Apparently the typical pumpkin blend, including cinnamon, nutmeg and ginger, feels “warm, comforting, and mildly sweet.” My taste buds cannot possibly be typical. Besides, can you really still call it food when your additive list is as long as your arm?

I am convinced that the craze for pumpkin spice anything and everything, and the rise of social media platforms, are aligned by more than coincidence. Influencers create a buzz, good little sheep flock to follow, and marketing experts seek out more things to infect and make more money.

What about you? Do any of you care about pumpkin infused foods and can spare a minute tom reply and help me understand the allure? I will be forever grateful.