How a War Changed My Life by Judith Ashley

A version of this post first appeared at http://judithashley.blogspot.com

Judith Ashley is the author of The Sacred Women's Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual traditions that nurture the soul.

In 1994 I attended a William Glasser Conference in Ireland. There I met colleagues from the Balkans. The Balkan War was raging and their once peaceful lives were in chaos. When asked what The William Glasser Institute could do, they said they needed everything.

Funds were donated and used to purchase diapers and formula and other necessities like soap and shampoo that were in short supply.

A group of us went a step further and organized a small conference on the shores of the Adriatic Sea in Rijeka, Croatia. We paid our own way and raised additional monies to cover expenses for those who could come. In addition we volunteered to lead workshops and support our colleagues however we could. Our group was received by the Mayor of Rijeka and one evening the government minister for prisoners of war and torture victims spoke to us.

I had a chance conversation with a professor at the local University. He invited me to speak to one of his classes. I also led a group discussion with a small group of women who’d braved Serbian fire as they drove up the Dalmatian Coast from their homes in Dubrovnik. Dubrovnik had been bombed that morning.

Jagoda Tonsic-Krema and husband - Scotland. Jagoda presented

Our evening activity (a boat trip to a nearby island) was canceled when Zagreb, the capitol of Croatia, came under fire (we were about 50 miles away). I went to breakfast in the morning and found colleagues I’d had dinner with missing. No one talked about where they were.

They’d just vanished—called back to the war.

That morning we were ordered to leave the country. We were an easy target and to kill ten US, Canadian, Irish citizens along with Croatians who were leaders in their country was seen as too tempting. While we understood that our being there actually put our colleagues more at risk than if we left, it was not easy to say good-bye, leaving people we’d come to know and care about in a few short days in danger.

The Mayor sent his van and driver to take us across the border into Slovenia and on to Bled. Traveling through border check points where the guards were armed was an event I’ll never forget. We were in Bled for a couple of days waiting until our flights back home left.

Sitting in an airport waiting for a flight with military tanks on the runway, armed soldiers carrying automatic rifles patrolling the concourse—I’d never had any of those experiences.

When I reached my home I was compelled to do something.

This is my Circle of Life. While the flowers are silk, everything else is natural (well, actually the silk flowers are made from the spinning of silk worms).

Because of that trip I’m very aware of how quickly deep and abiding relationships can form in times of trial. I still hold in my heart many of the people I met over two decades ago. I still feel an instant connection when I see any of them at conferences. One of my favorite experiences was at the Edinburgh, Scotland conference when most of the women I’d met in Croatia were there. Tears of joy, of gratitude on both sides—they’d rebuilt those lives that had been so traumatically disrupted.

There are so many aspects of that trip that were life-altering.

Hearing firsthand the experiences of people who became friends. Hearing how their lives had changed. Hearing the pain and resolution to not just survive but to overcome the challenges they now faced.

Seeing people create a life out of chaos. Seeing people find a point of light, of optimism in the darkness that surrounded them. Seeing the displaced rebuild some semblance of their former life.

Touching the edges of suffering through compassion and empathy. Touching and hugging knowing their healing powers. Touching and connecting with strangers who quickly became friends.

The sights and sounds I experienced fifty miles away from an active war zone changed my life. Even more so I seek to understand another’s point of view, to find a way through disagreements to solutions. Seeing the cost of war leads me, even more than before, to seek peace.

What life altering event have you undergone?

How has it changed who you are?

What have you done to honor that experience and that transformation?

You can learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series on my website.

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© 2016 Judith Ashley

Yum! Yum! Yum!

I’m Judith Ashley, author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual practices that nourish the soul and celebrate the journey from relationship to romance.

Traveling to other countries and even other parts of the United States has broadened my view of the world. I’ve been fortunate to have had the opportunity to travel—not only around the United States but also to Canada, Mexico, Australia and Europe.

Ireland, Scotland, England, Croatia, Slovenia and Italy have all been on my itinerary with stops in The Netherlands and Switzerland.

My first trip outside North America was to Ireland where I met up with another Judith and we had adventure after adventure as we drove around the country. Our first night in a bed and breakfast in Clifton, we walked to a local tavern and had Irish stew and bread. A young couple we met on holiday bought us our first Guinness after rescuing us from two flat tires as we traveled around The Ring of Kerry. We stayed at Ashford Castle and I distinctly remember sipping Irish Coffee and eating the best scones I’d ever had.

Next was Croatia and Slovenia. I will admit I was hesitant to try new food combinations when everything around me was so new but I did—and it was delicious! The food was fresh, vegetables harvested hours before our meals made all the difference in the world.

I was there during the Balkan War. When Zagreb was bombed, we were ordered to leave the country. Our group traveled to Bled, Slovenia to wait until for our return flights. There was a bakery near the hotel where we stayed that had ‘crème cakes’ and just thinking about them makes my mouth water. I’ve never had anything like them anywhere else – even with the same name nothing is ever as delicious as my memory.

Bled, Slovenia

After the war, I returned to the Balkans. A conference where I was a co-presenter was held in Portoroz, Slovenia. Seeing old friends and making new ones was a highlight but our trip into Croatia, to a small mountain village was the culinary highlight. I don’t remember the food other than it was fresh and delicious but the wine? Oh yes. I do remember the wine! It was light and if I knew wine I’d be able to tell you the flavor and notes and whatever else people who really do know their wines could talk about. 

What I can tell you is that it was naturally fermented from potatoes grown organically on the land. No Nitrates!!! Which meant no headache for me!!!

Most recently I traveled to England and Scotland. I tried haggis and oatcakes in Scotland and fish and chips in London.

If I were to travel abroad again, where would I go? If I based my decision only on the food, I’d be on a plane to Croatia and Slovenia.

In Croatia I’d find the village in the mountains. With a glass of wine in hand, I’d sit and look out over the surrounding land. A local cheese with homemade bread? I’d return to Bled. I’d be disappointed if the crème cakes I remember weren't there. But, who knows what else I’d fine?

That’s one of the exciting aspects of travel to other countries…the exploring whether of historical sites, local customs, or finding a meal that feeds your soul as well as your body.

Do you have a meal that feeds your body and soul? Please share!

To learn more about The Sacred Women's Circle visit my website 
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