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| www.medicalnewstoday.com |
A funny thing happened…eight days ago as I was getting
ready for bed. My husband and I were staying in a hotel room overlooking the thundering Deschutes River in
Bend, Oregon. As I walked from our hotel bathroom to our bed……
I lost my memory.
I lost my memory.
The
last thing I remember is reaching for the doorknob to open the bathroom door.
My husband, Chuck told me later that I walked to the bed and lay down, saying “I
don’t feel very good.”
When
he asked me what was wrong, I told him I didn’t know. I looked around and asked
him where we were. That’s when he went into medical mode. He’s a former Emergency
Medical Technician.
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| CALL 911 |
Chuck
checked me for signs of stroke, but physically I seemed fine. Mentally, I had
forgotten much of the past four months of our lives. I also seemed to forget the
new moments as soon as they passed. I knew who I was, I knew who he was, I
could name my children and grandchildren. I knew where we lived in the western
foothills of Oregon’s Cascade Mountains. But I asked Chuck the same questions
over and over, each time forgetting I had asked and he had answered only a
moment before.
I had no
idea why we were in a hotel in Bend where my mom, sister and brother-in-law lived.
I didn’t remember that we had rented a truck. I didn’t remember we’d spent the
day loading the truck with furniture and other items Mom had left me when she
died in December. I couldn’t tell Chuck what had happened December fifth, the
day Mom passed.
I don’t remember
any of that clearly, just a confused jumble of snippets of memory.
I do remember
how shocked I felt when he asked me if I remembered our daughter was in jail
(for the first time in her life!) I couldn’t believe it. She had been in jail
for almost a month. In that moment of clarity, I knew I’d lost my memory.
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| St. Charles Medical Center Bend |
After a few
minutes of assessing the situation, Chuck decided to drive me to the nearby
hospital.
I was in
and out of the memory-making business for hours. During this time, I felt “in
the moment” as never before. And so vulnerable, because who knew what I said
and did since the last memory? What if this was permanent? What would I do? Who
would I be? How much of consciousness depends on memory? How much of one’s identity?
How much of one’s essence?
I remember climbing
up into the sixteen-foot long Penske truck to go to the Emergency Room. I don’t
remember the drive. I remember getting out of the truck and walking through the
emergency room doors…I remember being on a gurney wearing a hospital gown and
having two young guys with the same name in the room. (Don’t remember the
name.) One of them took my vitals. The other tried to find a vein to draw
blood. He seemed to be in training…
Some
time later, I remember a kind doctor telling us that he was sure I had
Transient Global Amnesia, something he’d encountered multiple times in the ER. There is no treatment. He
said doctors don’t really understand what happens to cause the rare illness,
but having a history of migraines may have something to do with it.
Physical or emotional
stress are suspected triggers. Luckily, patients recover their ability to make
memories within a day and I seemed to be recovering quickly.
I told him I had gotten
migraines since I was a teen.
Chuck grinned and said,
“This is about the fifteenth time you’ve said that.”
Now
I wonder how many times the doctor patiently explained my condition to me. And
how many other memories are gone forever.
The
doctor ordered blood tests and a urinalysis to check for an infection, and a CT
scan to rule out a stroke. After about four hours, he cleared me to return to
our hotel room to get some rest. I still didn’t feel quite right somehow, but I
was functional. I’d also recovered the memories of events from before I got
sick, thank God. I felt somewhat optimistic.
We
drove three hours home that afternoon. By the time we arrived, I had a nagging
headache. (Headache, nausea and dizziness are common with this type of amnesia.)
Our son’s family helped Chuck unload the truck.
The
next day I had a bad headache all day. By the third day, the headache was gone.
I was pretty emotional for a couple days. For five days, I slept longer than
usual and had some trouble focusing.
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| Sarah Raplee |
Now I seem to be back
to a new normal, having permanently lost most of my memories for part of a day,
and knowing what having a rare form of amnesia is like from personal experience.
It seems ironic that I’ve
been writing a heroine with amnesia in my sequel to BLINDSIGHT. I hope I can use my
experience to better understand Sophie, although her amnesia is much more
extreme than what I experienced.
Feel free to ask questions! ~Sarah
