Phobia – Oxford Dictionary – an extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something, triggered by specific or general events or items.
My phobias are snakes and spiders and heights, but
since they are my phobias, I don’t want to even think about them, much less
write about them.
All I can say is I had traumatic encounters with the
first two when I lived overseas as a child in the land of yucky things that
caused me great anxiety. I don’t think of them as irrational fears, since the
exposure to the first two could have been not only dangerous, but deadly. The
third, a fear of heights, was a learned phobia from my mom who flipped out any time
we were near heights. After many decades of life, I am slowly…almost…conquering
that phobia.
Grandson conquering a Maine mountain
So, I still stay away from edges situated along great
heights, but I can now slowly inch closer. And I still cover my eyes when I see
photos of snakes and spiders, and avoid both, at all costs, in real life. For example,
when I worked in alumni relations at an environmental college, I co-edited the
alumni magazine. Part of that duty was editing the entire issue. Undoubtedly,
there was always at least one photo in the issue that had a snake in it, as the
guy who was the managing editor and put together the magazine loved snakes. In
one issue, there was a two-page spread with such a photo. I asked my intern,
now a career biologist in Africa (who is NOT afraid of snakes,) to edit that
page and then flip it to the next page on my computer, so I could open my eyes.
We still keep in touch via FB, and he still teases me about that. Luckily, he
now studies birds and I can look at his FB page.
 |
| Jonah holding a Blue-breasted Bee-eater in Africa |
As for my characters… I like to think I give them
things, emotions or responses, that cause them discomfort. But I don’t believe
I have ever given them an actual phobia. Their fears / issues are what many
people have similar reactions to and can be considered rational or normal.
For example, falling in love can only cause hurt and heartache. These reactions may be the result from past life experiences or insecurities. So, getting to know our character’s past, off the page, before we write them in their present situation is important. One such hurt could be how our characters process and move forward after a bad break-up.
Strangely, as I write this post, I realize I gave my
hero the same anxiety about wanting to carve his own path. He feels guilty that
he isn’t home helping run the ranch and is instead working his life’s dream to
be a conservation officer. In order to do what he wants, he felt it necessary
to also move away to pursue his dream.
The two strangers, stuck together, first in a vehicle and later a log cabin, during a days-long blizzard, end up bonding over their shared experience of feeling as though they disappointed their families. Although one is an only child and feels the burden of her parent’s dream. The other is the youngest of six, and chose a career away from the ranch, in order to be his own person. His angst stems from his mom passing away when he was so young. As a result, he felt abandoned by everyone in his family. His mom doted on him. And his dad and siblings, lost in their own grieving and still trying to function in school and work, seemed to forget about him.
In another book I’m currently editing for release in
2024, Rescuing the Sheriff, the heroine’s phobia is not trusting
anyone, especially law enforcement, as she is hunted by her turned rogue police
officer, step-brother. She is not sure if her fears are justified, but she suspects
he is responsible for her mother’s death and intends to harm her. Her fear is
based on evidence, but also on the belief no one will believe her, especially
the stern sheriff in the small town where she is hiding.
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| Fear? or Phobias? |
The hero in the story fears not belonging. And has set
out his entire life to prove he is good enough for the family who adopted him.
He doesn’t believe he deserves their love or anyone else’s. This fear is
irrational, but stems from the childhood trauma of losing both his parents. He
loves his adoptive family, and most likely has this fear of not belonging because
his heritage is different from the rest of the family.
Neither believe they belong, and yet each finds the
other. Together, with the help of his loving adoptive family, they each teach the
other that they deserve to belong.
So, I wouldn’t call any of these characteristics phobias,
but deep fear and feelings of self-doubt that need to be corrected, with help
from another person who truly understands, as they too have experienced similar
fears.
Do
you have fears or phobias? How do you deal with confronting those fears?
Barnes & Noble (also
in print)
Holiday Hitchhiker
~
cottages to cabins ~ keep the home fires burning ~
Delsora Lowe writes small town sweet and spicy romances
and contemporary westerns, from the mountains of Colorado to the shores of
Maine.
Author of the Starlight Grille series, Serenity Harbor
Maine novellas, and the Cowboys of
Mineral Springs series, Lowe has also authored short romances for Woman’s World magazine. The Love Left
Behind is a Hartford Estates, R.I. wedding novella. A Christmas
novel (The Inn at Gooseneck Lane) and novella (Holiday Hitchhiker)
were released in late fall 2022. Look for book 3 and 4 of the cowboy’s series, as
well as book 2 of the Hartford Estates series, in 2024-25.
Social Media Links:
Author website: www.delsoralowe.com
Facebook Author page: https://www.facebook.com/delsoraloweauthor/community/
Amazon Author page: https://www.amazon.com/Delsora-Lowe/e/B01M61OM39/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0
Books2Read Author page: https://www.books2read.com/ap/8GWm98/Delsora-Lowe
BookBub Author Page: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/delsora-lowe-93c6987f-129d-483d-9f5a-abe603876518
Goodreads Author Page: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/16045986.Delsora_Lowe
Instagram: #delsoralowe
/ https://www.instagram.com/delsoralowe/
Photo Credits:
Conquering
the Mountain: My grandson, photo taken by my son
Phobias: In
My Head - Free phobias,
Download Free phobias png images,
Free ClipArts on Clipart Library clipart-library.com)
Blizzard: Photo taken by Delsora Lowe
Bird: Blue-breasted Bee-eater in Africa, permisson to use from
Jonah’s FB page
