December is Potpourri month which means the Genre-istas
can talk about anything they want to.
What do I want to share?
Just that most of the women (and some men) I know have
done some deep level work within themselves. They’ve assessed their lives,
identified something they want to change and followed the thread back to the
precipitating event or scenario.
Would you be surprised if that precipitating event was
one where they were victimized? Abused? Was a situation that was fraught with
peril? A situation that even though they escaped, has tentacles slipping
through their lives that affect them today?
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Time to Sever The Tentacles from Our Past |
And in that search we’ve faced some truths about our
life. We’ve made some decisions. I know I’ve become more active locally and now
serve on the Board of my Neighborhood Association. I’ve made a point to get out
into my neighborhood where I’ve lived for over forty years and meet my
neighbors.
Hours into the dark of night, I’ve remembered negative scenarios
from my past and struggled to find a way to neutralize them. It was during one
of those nights that I saw the connection between an early decision I made and
my relationships – to this day. A time-frame that spans over 50 years!
How freeing! Seeing the relationship between the past and
the present was so helpful.
Reminding myself that I’m no longer 20 or 21 or even 25
means I no longer have to live my life as if the vulnerability I felt at that
time was still true.
How freeing to find that thread and follow it through my
life to the present–––and then sever the connection.
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What does your Shrunken, shriveled hose look like? |
The hose’s appearance when coiled in its container is
deceptive. Hook it up, turn it on and it stretches as it fills and fills and
fills–reaching across the deck to water faraway bushes.
But when I turn the water off, it shrinks, deflates and
soon shrivels.
That is the visual I hold when I sever the thread. It
shrivels and I’m left with who I am today, the product of all those scenarios,
those events, those incidents but I’m no longer tied to them. They no longer
have the power to influence my choices today.
The Sacred Women’s Circle stories are about women who
make the choice to leave doubts and fears behind and reach for, claim the love
they want in their lives. Their journeys are often fraught with peril, with
risk, with pain but they can see, just out of their reach, their goal.
In order to reach it, to have that love, they must risk
that moment when they free fall, when they let go of the past, the hurts, the
doubts and reach for their future.
May you find the strength and courage to reach for your
future if not in this moment then in 2019.
© 2018 Judith Ashley