Why Didn't I Die?

by Judith Ashley

It happened on a Sunday about this time of year over forty years ago. I-84 was fairly new and not as well traveled as it is today. I'd spent the weekend in Umatilla, OR and was driving home to Portland - traveling west on I-84.

"The Rains" had arrived.

Wipers and radio on, I was singing along.

One minute I was driving and the next I was flying…my car hydroplaning. 

I lost control, spun out, and crashed into the cement divider. When the car stopped it was pointing the wrong way. Barreling towards me was a pick-up truck and cars.

I’m going to die, flashed through my mind. 

Accepting my fate, I curled in a ball facing the back of the front seat covering my head and face with my arms hoping I protected my face enough that the casket wouldn’t need to be closed.

My life did not flash before my eyes but I did pray my son would be okay and that he would be able to stay with my parents and not go to Ohio to live with his father.

Tapping and a voice caught my attention.

“Are you okay?” a male voice called out.

I lifted my head. A man knocked on my window.

Stunned, I struggled to sit, the seat belt still tight around my waist.

It wasn't easy but he managed to open my door. (The passenger side door was lodged against the cement divider). Thoroughly shaken, with supreme effort I scooted out and leaning heavily against the car, stood.

Another driver stopped and directed traffic until the state police arrived and took over that job. After getting my information and account as to what happened, the trooper arranged for my car to be towed to the nearest town, Cascade Locks.

A few days later, a friend of mine drove me out to get my car in his truck.

I stood staring at my car, my only transportation and the reality of what could have been slammed into my gut. My knees wobbled and if there had been a place to sit nearby, I would have reached for it. Instead I grabbed my friend's arm and held on until the wave of weakness passed.

I had no choice. In order to get my car back to my place I had to steer. We had a towline not a trailer. It was a dicey trip from Cascade Locks to North Portland. We stopped more than once and at the very end had to push my car onto the parking pad behind my house. 

Lessons learned?

Beware when "The Rains" come. Pavement turns to glass.

The concept “Life is fleeting” is a reality, not a myth. 

Some things did die that day (the car totaled, my belief that I was invulnerable destroyed). 

Yet, over forty years later, when I think back on that time, I have no idea how those vehicles stopped in time. I have no idea why I didn’t die.  

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And yet, when I think back on these past forty years, I can see many things I was able to accomplish in my work with vulnerable children and adults. Most recently I wonder if I survived that day so I could tell stories. 

So maybe this is why?                                       

Or This?

Or This?

Book One in The Sacred Women's Circle Series

© 2014 Judith Ashley