Friday, September 7, 2018

Romance Authors Helped Me Through Tough Times

Judith Ashley is the author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual practices that nourish the soul and celebrates the journey from relationship to romance.

I’d never really read romance novels until the summer of 1997. Oh, it isn’t that I’d never seen one, one of my aunts was an avid reader of Danielle Steele.
However the summer of 1997 my dad had exploratory surgery. Sitting in the hospital waiting for the surgeon to advise us as to the outcome, I needed something to distract me other than a Tom Clancy or psych-thriller-type book.
The hospital gift shop had Nora Roberts’ books and, while I don’t remember the title, I never looked back. You see, even though the surgeon said the operation was a success and the cancer had been removed, that wasn’t true.
When my dad’s balance went and his eye-sight was affected and the headaches relentlessly pounded, my mom relented and let me make an appointment to see an oncologist.
By this time it was too late. Over the next months, I spent hours with my dad at doctor appointments and while he had radiation treatments. Where was my mom? Her grief over losing her soul mate, her life partner for almost 60 years took a massive toll on her health. So much so, we weren’t sure she’d survive.
Trade paperbacks by Nora, Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Jo Beverley and a myriad others easily tucked into my purse. One was always on hand to distract me while waiting.
And that’s how my path to writing romance started. I read, immersed myself in the stories knowing that a happily-ever-after waited for me on the last page, while knowing a happily-ever-after was not waiting for me in my real life.
My dad died March 8, 1998. I was invited to join Wild Women Writers in December 1999. Originally I was going to take a personal growth program I’d developed in the early 1980’s and turn it into a book. I dithered around with that project for a year and then the magic happened.
I started remembering dreams, having day dreams, hearing voices of women who wanted me to tell their stories. They each wanted a happily-ever-after and were positive I was the only one who could write about them. All those hours of escaping into the pages of romance novels rushed back. I put the personal growth book away and started writing down the visions and voices that would not leave me alone.
Would I be a romance author now if not for all those books I read in hospital rooms and doctor’s offices? Read at night or when I couldn’t sleep in an effort to push away the darkness of grief at losing my dad?
Would I have taken the plunge if I hadn’t had these books in my hands?
I don’t think so.
While I’m no Nora or Susan or Jo, if one reader benefits from my books like I did from theirs, then I’m happy.
After working in social services for fifty or so years, one thing I know is this truth: We never know the impact we have on others. We never know if something we’ve said or written or done will change someone’s life.
What I also know is true is that when we move forward in our lives with love in our hearts and our deeds, we do no harm. And what better caveat than that – we send love into the world and did no harm.
Learn more about Judith's The Sacred Women’s Circle series at JudithAshleyRomance.com

Follow Judith on Twitter: JudithAshley19

Check out Judith’s Windtree Press author page.

You can also find Judith on FB! 

© 2018 Judith Ashley

15 comments:

Sarah Raplee said...

Romance books have helped me through some tough times, too, Judith. Is the personal growth program you developed the one you are turning into a book or books now?

I love the way your stories came to you! You were meant to be a writer!

Maggie Lynch said...

I 100% agree with your statement: "We never know the impact we have on others. We never know if something we’ve said or written or done will change someone’s life."

I have had many readers write me about what one of my Sweetwater Canyon books means to them. Those notes make up for any questions I have about why I write. I may not be making the money I wished, or have the thousands upon thousands of books sold, but each note keeps me going.

I'm sure your books do the same for others, Judith--both your fiction and nonfiction. I like the positive examples in your books. It shows true emotion when people meet obstacles to their hearts desire. But it also shows their are choices and how to look at the possibilities and move forward. That is something I believe serves everyone.

Keep writing, both fiction and nonfiction.

Barbara Rae Robinson said...

Yes, reading has been my salvation over the years. I was reading Mary Stewart and Phyllis Whitney back in the 70s. I think the first romance novel I read was Forever Amber. I was a teenager then. In the 70s I also started reading Harlequins. One of the other teachers in the building brought me a sack of Harlequins to read and told me they would reduce my stress. They helped. And I was hooked. In the summer of 1978 I started writing my first romance novel, on a typewriter. So I've been playing at this writing game for about forty years.

Diana McCollum said...

Books of all sorts have seen me through some stressful and tough times. At night I like reading a chapter or two of my current historical read, usually Regency. Those books are good and not scary like a thriller. I love thrillers and romantic suspense but only read those in the day time.

I read at night to distract myself from the ringing in my ears, it helps and I'm usually asleep by the end of the chapter.

Great post on your journey!

Paty Jager said...

While I read Gothic Romances in high school because I liked the foreign settings and they were the biggest books in the library, ;), I didn't start reading romance until in my 20s. I'd read mostly mysteries. One day, I picked up a Nora Roberts book at a store because I needed something to read and didn't have a library book. I liked her book. Then I picked up a LaVyrle Spencer from the library and I was hooked on books by those to authors and while I'd been trying to write a mystery, I switched to writing romance. I like that romance has an HEA at the end of every book. Good post, Judith!

Judith Ashley said...

Sarah, Yes, "Love, Power, Freedom, Fun: How To Get More" is in a very rough draft form right now. So much fun to get back to "my roots" with this book.

Judith Ashley said...

Thanks Maggie, I do plan on continuing to write both fiction and non-fiction. I'm so pleased with the "Visions of ..." series that is connected to the original Sacred Women's Circle series. As long as the stories come to me, I'll be writing them. So far, I've 3 - 4 non-fiction books (one publishing "Staying Sane in a Crazy World", one in rough draft and 2 with notes). I appreciate your comments about my books. I always hope something one of my characters does makes a difference in a reader's life. Bonus points! Having read your "Sweetwater Canyon" series I understand why you get notes from readers.

Judith Ashley said...

Barb, I totally remember writing reports on a typewriter - and I barely passed typing in high school. If I had the speed, I had too many errors. If I typed slower and eliminated errors, I didn't meet the speed requirement. Computers are so much easier! And you also use Scrivener which is another program that makes an author's life easier.

Judith Ashley said...

Diana, I still can't read thrillers or a really suspenseful story even in daylight hours. I do love my historical novels any time of the day or night. I've been reading more mysteries in part because authors I know and love are writing in that genre. Glad reading books helps you end your day. I used to read in bed at night but stopped when I started having sleep problems. Thanks for stopping by!

Judith Ashley said...

Paty, I'm delighted you were hooked on reading mysteries and romance and that you now write both. Love your Shandra Higheagle mysteries. Your Spirit Trilogy, the Halsey brother's series...the list is long. I know you are writing more westerns and I've got them on my TBR list.

Annie said...

You are you and don’t need to be anyone else. Nora. Anyone. Each author has something unique to offer. As for you...

You are inspiring, enlightening and giving and it is reflected in your books and in all the things you do to support your friends and fellow writers.

Dora Bramden said...

Your experience moves me, Judith. Reading romance has helped me through some really tough times also. And I don't think we're alone in that experience. Your desire to make a difference and write stories to lift someone on a day they really need it shows you write from a loving heart.

Judith Ashley said...

Annie, I agree each of us has something unique to offer in our stories. Thank you for the kind words about my efforts.

Judith Ashley said...

Dora, Thanks for stopping by and commenting! I do believe readers can tell when we are writing stories that touch our hearts and souls. The write to market may work for some people but not for me - nor for you.

Lynn Lovegreen said...

Beautiful post, Judith. Many of us need a happy ending to help us deal with our lives. And many of us enjoy writing them, too!