I am lucky to have a pretty good life so far. There aren’t many things I would change, although I wish I were kinder at certain times. (My apologies to those out there that I hurt or treated badly.) Even the bad stuff in my life taught me lessons and helped me grow and become a better person. But if I had to change one thing, it would be the deaths of people I loved.
I’ve lost grandparents, a sister, mother, and several friends. Some of them died many years ago, and some recently. Each death left holes in my heart, especially the deaths of my sister and mother. Grief hit me pretty hard, and while I was able to move on after a few years, there are still moments when a song, movie, or even a certain scent will bring tears to my eyes.
There are times when I’d give anything to have them here again. I’d love to see them again, and to have them here to watch my daughter, her cousins, and my son-in-law grow up into the amazing adults they are today. But we can’t have everything. My consolations are sweet memories of my lost ones, and the thought that they’d be proud of the woman I’ve become.
What we can do is to take care of each other the best we can, and savor all the moments we have together. Thank goodness I still have the love of my husband and other family members. I show them my love as often as I can.
I hope you can do the same with yours. Wishing you lots of time with the people you love!
Lynn Lovegreen has lived in Alaska for fifty years. After twenty years in the classroom, she retired to make more time for writing. She enjoys her friends and family, reading, and volunteering at her local library. Her young adult historical fiction is set in Alaska, a great place for drama, romance, and independent characters. See her website at www.lynnlovegreen.com. You can also find her on Facebook and Instagram.
8 comments:
Lynn, Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I also have moments when I wish someone I loved was still on this plane. The memories of special times and places fill the gap for me. And showing someone they are loved creates those memories for me and for them also. As many of my special people live away from me, every phone call, every email and many text messages end with "I Love You" the three words that can never be said or heard enough.
Thanks, Judith. I agree that we can never say "I love you" too often.
Wonderful post, Lynn! My mom died last December, and not a day goes by that something does bring back a memory. Mostly good, but sometimes memories of her last days which were not so good. That is one thing I would change if I could. Bring back mom and dad. Tell mom I miss her so much and love her and dad so much. Now I'm just carrying on, anyway, good post.
Thanks for the comment, Diana. It's natural to miss loved ones who have passed away.
A lovely post
Thanks, Barbara! Best wishes to you.
Lynn, this comment in your post: "there are still moments when a song, movie, or even a certain scent will bring tears to my eyes." is so true. That is the way of grief. It has triggers.
Some people believe grief goes away. I don't think that's true. I think, instead, you just learn to live with it. I've lost three bothers, all grand parents, two uncles, and my father--and countless friends. Each loss has a different trigger. And older movies or popular songs from when I was younger, have triggers as well.
But I think that is good. Those triggers are reminders of how much love was shared between you and I see them as blessings--a blessing that I am able to remember, a blessing that I had that experience in the first place, and most of all a blessing that I've had so much love in my life and that has given me the ability to share that love with others because of all those examples.
I hope you find all those blessings as well.
Thanks, Maggie. It's good to reframe those triggers as blessings.
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