I never understood what it was like to have writer’s block until a couple years ago when my family was faced with a series of unfortunate events. We learned our forty-seven-year-old daughter and her husband were addicted to opioids and meth about the same time my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Dementia.
My mother and my daughter lost their grips on reality over the next few months. Mom moved into a top-notch memory care facility and died of heart failure three months later. My daughter broke into our house multiple times because of her delusions and hallucinations. She refused to get help and became homeless and dangerous as their lives unraveled. We had to get a restraining order and learn the cold, hard truth: there is nothing we can do unless she wants help. She believes she is sane and everyone who tries to help her is insane.
Thank God for NarAnon and for
our therapist. We learned about processing grief, the horrible disease of
addiction, detachment and letting go. But the grief resurfaces in nightmares, crazy
texts or on icy winter nights.
And yet…Spring arrived this year, and I find myself enjoying the daffodils, the birdsongs, the antics of our new puppy, spending time with my ten-year-old granddaughter and writing stories in my head again.
Spring reminds me that life goes on, life is good and I am blessed.
Have you suffered from writer's block? Please share your experience in a comment. ~Sarah
4 comments:
Hi, Sister!
OMG Junie looks like Zelda! Yes, I have suffered with writers block too! Also, from family trauma, mom going into mental care home and die-ing a couple months later. I spent at least part of every day with her. In the last week of her life she no longer recognized me and that was hard. She had lived with us for seven years.
Then the husband had 7 months of chemo, and then the pandemic hit!
More recently I have been taking writing classes and getting a new website, doing book reviews for Romance Junkies reviews, and writing blog posts. So I am getting back in the mode of writing. I am re reading my work in progress in hopes of soon starting to write.
But things are finally looking up. We get our second vaccine on Friday and we leave on a trip to see family soon. Here in Central Oregon the flowers and trees are not blooming . our spring comes later than the valley.
My goodness - how did your granddaughter get so big? I remember you telling me when she was born! Oh, well, we've been friends for over a decade ... growing and changing is part of it. While I haven't been writing to publish this past year, I have been doing writerly things so I don't consider that I have writer's block. This time last year the residential home of a long time friend I'd been helping shut down because of a positive CoVid-19 test. My friend tested positive in April, was hospitalized, recovered, returned to his home and died 3 weeks later.
I totally understand that "surviving" you speak of. Processing grief and loss takes time and energy. I used to be a "mininalizer" (someone who minimizes and drama and trauma as being less than it is which is not the same as a denier).
How I've handled my life more recently is to write out my Core Values and look at how I'm living them each day. When I do that, I feel better, more in touch with the essence of who I am. I'm sure you are enjoying time with your granddaughter...I'm looking forward to spending time with my granddaughter and great grands in April!
Sarah, Thank you for sharing this very personal part of your life. I don't know if I would term it as writer's block as much as life overwhelm. At least for me, when I get overwhelmed with family problems, finances, pandemics, I still have stories in my head but I don't have the energy or focus to get them down on paper.
My heart goes out to you and your family dealing with your daughter, the death of your mother, and the wildfires. Those are three huge losses in a short period of time, not to mention all the daily stress of life through an election and the pandemic. The fact you can talk about it is a huge step forward.
I have not had such immediate, direct impact on my life as you. My blockages have been family related, in support of others, instead of direct to me. I have a niece, who is addicted to heroine and occasionally does meth with all the things you have described. She lost her boyfriend to an overdose three months ago, yet still continues to use. My sister has been beside herself, while raising her granddaughter as my niece can't do it.
I, too, have a mother with dementia. Thankfully, it is at the moderate stage (she's turning 88 this year). Medication we got her started on a year ago seems to have temporarily arrested the progression. My sister who lives with her and has been her primary companion and driver, was put on 24 hour oxygen this past year due to heart problems. A sister and I traveled to southern California to find new housing for my 51 year old autistic brother, who was being taken advantage of financially, through bullying by the landlord during the pandemic. A move from the room he had rented for five yeas is traumatic. He is in a safe temporary situation, but we are still unsure as to his permanent placement.
Again, nothing direct to me--all of it for family though and requiring time, energy, prayers, support. I suspect most everyone had some of these in their life. It's so good to hear you are seeing some light now.
My prayers go out to you. It sounds like you are dealing with the help of therapy and NarAnon. I'm so happy you sought help.
May the Spring bring you back to life and give you hope for a better year. The early blooms and additional daylight have certainly helped me already. Though I haven't returned to writing the next book yet, I am writing regularly, blogging, and doing lots of writerly preparation for the year.
So sorry you went through that, Sarah. Grief takes its toll, grief for people who have died and for other things we have lost.
I couldn't write for the first few months of the pandemic. But after a period in survival mode, I was able to think about stories again. I had another dip in January, for the reasons you mention. But I got back on the horse again. The biggest lesson I've learned in the last year is to be gentle with myself.
Take care, Sarah--and everyone else out there.
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