Happily Ever After is a Choice by Mary Schiller

 

When I heard what the theme of the month was, relationships, I thought, who better to write about that than a romance author. But when I sat at my laptop to write my post, I didn’t know where to start, so I looked to quotes for inspiration, and I found some really good ones.

~Your relationship doesn’t have to make sense to anyone but you and your partner. It’s a relationship, not a group project.

I think this is especially applicable for younger people, who seem to search for validation in their relationships when it isn’t necessary.

~Time decides who you meet in your life. Your heart decides who you want in your life. Your behavior decides who stays in your life.

And this can work both ways. As I’ve always stressed with my kids, you will get whatever behavior you put up with, so don’t let anyone treat you poorly.

~A strong relationship requires choosing to love each other even in those moments you struggle to like each other.

Anyone who has ever been in a long-term relationship understands this one. There are times my husband can drive me crazy. But even during these times, I love him. And I’ve discovered that often, when I’m irritated with him, it has more to do with me than him.

~”Happily ever after is not a fairytale. It’s a choice.” Fawn Weaver

Sometimes as a romance writer we skip the parts where you have to work at a relationship, but that doesn’t paint a realistic portrait of what it takes to keep a relationship strong. But, in our defense, sometimes you want realism, sometimes you want the fairy tale.

~All relationships have one law. Never make the one you love feel alone, especially when you’re there.

I thought this was very relevant in today’s world where we’re often wrapped up in our phones and computers. But it goes even deeper than putting away your electronic device. You have to be emotionally available to the ones you love, too.

I love studying and recreating those nuances in relationships that make them special when I write. For instance, I’m sure you can remember a situation like this in your own life. You and your sibling are going at it, really at each other’s throats, then, it happens. Someone breaks a vase. (Or, in our case, knocks a big picture off the wall and breaks the glass.) Suddenly, the two of you are on the same side, coming up with a story to tell your mom when she finds out. 

Siblings. They can be your best friends, and they also know exactly how to push your buttons. An example is in my romantic suspense BETWEEN ROCK AND A HARD PLACE. The hero, Heath, is trying to make the heroine, Jasmine, dinner, but burns the sauce. His brother Luke goes to a favorite restaurant to get sauce for him, but Heath is freaking out a bit when he gets back and warns him not to be seen by Jasmine as he leaves. Of course, as any brother would, Luke instead walks by the window and waves at Jasmine, head held high. Later, when Heath has acted like a jerk to Jasmine Luke calls him on it. Siblings. Their way of supporting you can be so…maddening.

Another relationship I’ve studied and written about is coworkers as family. Like the four lunch ladies in TO HELL IN A COACH BAG. When Dani’s dad passes away, they go with her to Colorado. In Dani’s own words, “So, let me get this straight. For my own clarification. You're using my father's memorial service as a chance to take a road trip together?" An odd way to show support? Yes. But it was just what Dani needed. 

The same goes for the boys in my fictional band Just Short of Chaos. When you work together you often spend more time with one another than you do with your own family and bonds are formed. The band members rib each other and even get in fights sometimes, but they have each other’s backs. One example is when a troublemaker shows up at Zane and Grace’s wedding in ROCKED BY LOVE and Dex and Jericho “escort” him out. It’s the old I-can-make- fun-of-my-sister-but-don’t-you-dare-say-a-word-about-her mentality. I love that dynamic!

Can you recall an incident where your sibling(s) really showed up for you? Is it even easier for you to remember something they did that really ticked you off? I’d love for you to share your thoughts in the comments.

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Thanks for reading and I hope you have a fabulous rest of your weekend!