Hi, I’m Judith Ashley, author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic women’s fiction with light paranormal elements. My stories show you what life could be like if you had a place like The Circle where you are unconditionally accepted, supported and loved. And where, with this support, you make choices to overcome the darkest nights and choose love and light.
When the
Blog Queens were brain-storming 2021 topics the fall of 2020, we were still
thinking more about the changes that come automatically to many in September:
change in seasons; school in session, those rather “normal” activities that
have been part and parcel of our lives for decades.
 |
| Judith at Jan's Paperbacks |
So what has been different?
Reframing my world is #1.
What does that mean?
I grew up hearing the phrases “The only things certain are death and taxes” and “The only thing certain is change itself.”
Over the decades of my own life, I learned that death is certain but there are
people who never pay taxes. Until this year, I did think there were parts of
the world around me that I could count on. However, that turned out to not be
true.
When certainty
is lost and our world crumbles fear, anxiety, anger and depression are common
responses to that loss. A key question is “Does our world have to crumble?”
Well, mine did for several weeks until I remembered to
use what I know works and what I shared in my book Staying Sane
in a Crazy World.
The truth is being uncertain
is uncomfortable at best unless we have a core of certainty within us upon which to draw. Where do we find this core
of certainty? I find mine within my
Core Values. Core Values are dependent on us alone. They may be framed to
include others because we always believe people who share our values will have
a better life, however, that is assuming everyone else sees the world as we do.
And that just isn’t how the world works even if it is how we want it to work.
Here are three of my Core Values that support my inner
certainty.
We are all connected to The Devine and thus are threads in The
Fabric of The Universe which means we are all Sacred.
All experiences have a “gift” in them. It is my responsibility
to find it.
We are all doing the best we can given our past and present life
experiences, our goals/dreams/wants.
What do you draw upon when the uncertainty in the outer world threatens your inner peace and thus
your inner certainty?
Look for my
next non-fiction Yes, You Can Create The Life You Love this fall.
All of my
books are available at your favorite e-book vendor. Be sure to ask your local
library if you’d prefer to read my books through that resource.
Learn more about
Judith's The Sacred Women’s Circle series on her website JudithAshley.net
Follow Judith on Twitter: JudithAshley19
Check out
Judith’s Windtree Press author page.
You can also
find Judith on Facebook!
© 2021 Judith Ashley
10 comments:
thanks for the thoughtful post, Judith. It's the uncertainty that got to me the last 18 months. It took me a while to figure out how to deal with it. We all have to find our way. Your last value is a big part of that process.
Enjoyed your relevant post. What I did during at the beginning and during the pandemic are the following:
#1) I picked up my crocheting basket and carried it into the living room. I would sit each day and crochet while watching an hour DIY show. I've always found doing a craft with my hands and having to concentrate relieves the tension I feel.
#2) I became proactive. Bought rubber gloves, sanitizer for house and car, made six masks each for my husband and myself. Ordered groceries online and picked up outside. Stayed home and stayed busy as much as possible, house, yard, and reading.
#3) Stayed in touch with family and friends much more often. The biggest helpful thing for the psyche was the weekly zoom meeting with Sarah and you Judith. Just to see your faces and hear your voices helped get me through the dark times.
I also went early for a daily walk at the park, tried new recipes and worked on deep cleaning. All this brought me a feeling of accomplishment and joy!
Lynn, Glad you were able to find your way through the uncertainty. I don't see that uncertainty in the world around us changing any time soon.
Diana, focusing on what we can do is a good way to deal with uncertainty. Glad you found what worked for you.
We like to think we have more control than we do, don't we?
Once we accept that we can't control everything, focus on what we can control and ground ourselves in the present, rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, we find the present is not that scary.
Love your cover for Sarah's Ankh! It's time for me to re-read Sarah's Ankh and Grandmother Moon.
I also got a lot out of Staying Sane in a crazy world
Judith, Definitely a thought provoking piece. I think the title of your book "Staying Sane in a Crazy World" is so appropriate. All of us have been pushed to the limit on handling our lives and the changes wrought by the pandemic. During the first year of the pandemic, I was certain what I needed to do. And as things relaxed, I started to relax and do a few more things. However, the uncertainly came as it has all started locking down again. So how much to I explore outside my bubble now? And do I really dare? I think we all are facing this question and others, like you mention here. For me, I am probably starting over with my personal lockdown plan. At least for a while till I see how it goes. Hopefully, this one won't last as long.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts, Sarah.
For me personally, I've along history of mythical/fantasy thinking that if I can control the world around me, I'll be safe. I am on a journey to change that...my commitment is now to live each day within my Core Values. On the days I'm successful, I am at peace.
Dari, thanks for stopping by and commenting. You are not alone in the "rethinking" what activities to do. I will do my own grocery shopping and make and keep medical appointments. What gets set aside are the social contacts with family and friends...thankfully we have the phones and Zoom! I think back to my growing up years...long distance was not free so the long phone conversations that help me stay connected would not have been available. Those were the days of writing letters, mailing them and then waiting until I got one back - days or maybe even weeks later. There is something to be said for not having "instant access" to everything.
Judith, a very thoughtful piece with really important core values. Reframing is something that is both difficult and yet often the only way to move forward. In fact, I'll be talking a bit about that (though not using that word "reframing) in my piece later this month.
Like you, I live under the mythical belief that if I can just understand something enough, analyze it enough, I can find a way through and control it. Though I've had several examples where that thinking doesn't work, it still pops up as a way to save me from the feeling of "I don't know and I'll never figure it out," which is quite frightening.
I'm looking forward to your guest post on 09/18, Maggie. Controlling the world around me is one life lesson that, while I've yet to totally learn it, I recognize that is what I'm attempting to do much sooner and atop. I think our initial actions are a part of our innate flight, fight, freeze safety mechanism which are critically important when we are in physical danger.
Post a Comment