By: Marcia King-Gamble
www.lovemarcia.com
You've got to know when to hold 'em
Know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run
You never count your money
When you're sittin' at the table
There'll be time enough for countin'
When the dealin's done
I choose to interpret Kenny’s lyrics
to mean life is about making little adjustments, and at times taking a
different approach. It’s about change;
the C word so many of us fear.
Why is change something we fear? I think it’s because over the years we fall into comfortable routines, because predictability makes us think we have control of our lives.
Routines can stifle creativity, and ultimately lead to boredom. Routines also prevents us from handling the curve balls life throws us . No wonder when all
hell breaks loose some crumble and
some are paralyzed. Others depend on friends and family to get them back on track.
Routines and a reluctance to change can
also make for a boring lifestyle. In fact, one of the reasons many marriages fail
is because things get stale. Boredom to me is a fate worse than death, but changing things up can prevent us from falling into a rut. Instead of looking at change as something to avoid, why not look at it as a test of
resiliency and a way to keep your creative juices flowing. Change can be an opportunity
for personal growth, Embrace it with flexibility and keep an open mind.
Had I not kept an open mind and adopted flexibility as a way of life, I would be not be where I am today. I’d be a totally different person with a whole different lifestyle.
You're hearing from a woman who had an alpha male father; a man who thought that women should have
secretarial skills. It was what made us marketable. His thinking irritated me so much I
refused to learn to type, (something I still regret. I’m a two-finger pecker.) My dad could not understand why I wanted to go away to college and incur the
expense of room and board. After all, we
had a perfectly fine home. I, on the other hand, wanted to be independent. I wanted a change of pace from New York City,
and going to a small upstate town with a Main Street would be something different.
Once I got that college degree,
instead of settling into a mundane job, I became an international flight
attendant, which meant I was flying off to exotic countries more often than
most people take buses. That was yet another thing my father didn’t understand,
though he eventually got used to my wanderlust.
Being adaptable and willing to change,
allowed me to live in 5 states and enjoy all the good things any city has to
offer. Over time, I've had several jobs (careers). One of these jobs even opened
the door to the writing world. Had I
been averse to change, that would never have happened.
Getting out of my comfort zone, also led
to a free trip to Malawi. It allowed me to meet people I never would have encountered. It
exposed me to a variety of cultures, foods and experiences.
All this to say, “If you do what
you’ve always done, then you’ll get what you always gotten.” That is not necessarily always good.
So, I challenge you to shake things up a bit and make small
changes. Life is way too short for saying shoulda-coulda-woulda.
Get out there and do it! Don't have regrets. Do it your way!
About Marcia King-Gamble
Romance writer,
Marcia King-Gamble originally hails from a sunny Caribbean island where the sky
and ocean are the same mesmerizing shade of blue. This former travel industry
executive has spent most of life in the United States. A National Bestselling
author, Marcia has penned over 34 books and 8 novellas. She has contributed to
Michael Fiore’s DigitalRomanceInc and served as a moderator on the now defunct
eHarmony advice boards. Having witnessed
the bad, the ugly, and the not so good in relationships, she still prefers to
write about happily ever after. Caring for her animal family keeps her grounded
and sane.
Visit Marcia at
www.lovemarcia.com or “friend” her on Facebook: http://bit.ly/1MlnrIS
Be sure to join
her newsletter mailing list.
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8 comments:
Had to chuckle reading your post, Marcia. I got a college education because my dad wanted me to be able to help support my husband and children if needed. My mom wanted me to go to college to find that husband. I could be a teacher - at least I wanted to be a teacher and still see myself in that roll although not in a public school classroom. I hope my readers learn something that helps them through those life changes.
I used to take a different way to work every couple of days just so I wouldn't be in a routine. The way the city planners are going, it will be easy to do that again as there are already narrow streets I don't drive on Friday (trash pick up day).
At this time in my life, I'm 100% certain that there is no certainty. There is 100% change. Living life includes the aging process and there are all sorts of little and big changes that come from just making it through another day.
I love your insightfulness Judith, I always have. It's so cool your dad wanted you to help support your hubby and kids. He was a Rennaisance man. Change is inevitable and no point in fighting it. We just have to roll with it and hopefully learn something from it.
Marcia, You are so right about change. It's going to happen, so look for the opportunities and enjoy the adventures that unpredictability adds to life. Seek wonder and awe, and fun (of course).
Also, I Love your cover and your title on your new holiday book!
Absolutely love this message: "“If you do what you’ve always done, then you’ll get what you always gotten.”
I've been fortunate to have learned early in life that change is inevitable and the only way to thrive is to accept it, learn about it, and move forward. I've accepted jobs in other places and moved to do them. Though it was a bit scary to leave behind friends and things I knew, what I gained was incredible.
Similar to Judith, my father wanted me to go to college even though they could not afford to send me. In fact, he stopped a potential marriage planned for the summer after my graduation from high school. He told my boyfriend (8 years my senior and in the military, having just come back from Vietnam) that he would bless the marriage if I went to one year of college first.
I worked full time summers my junior and senior year, and evenings during the school year, to pay for that first year after high school graduation. My father was so smart. He knew I had a thirst for knowledge and that being tied to someone with old-fashioned ideas about roles and a lack of education wasn't for me. That boyfriend wasn't as appealing after I started going to college. We did remain friends and still meet up with our spouses every two or three years. But I am so very glad we did not marry.
Great advice, Marcia. It reminds me of my husband's story about Navy boot camp. Of of the officers told them, "Don't apply for NAS Hometown, take this opportunity to see the world." That eventually led my husband to Alaska where we met and married. I'm so glad he took that chance.
Thanks Sarah. I am all about embracing change. It makes for an interesting life. Thanks for the kind words
Maggie, what a wise man your dad was. You probably didn't think so back then. Now just look at you and what you're doing. Would you have gotten here with your ex?
Lynn,
I call travel the best finishing school ever. I love Alaska. I'm so glad you and your husband found each other.
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