Friday, August 4, 2023

One of These Days I'm Gonna ...

 Hi, I’m Judith Ashley, author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, soul nourishing romantic women’s fiction with light paranormal elements. My stories show you what life could be like if you had a place like The Circle where you are unconditionally accepted, supported and loved. And where, with this support, you make choices to overcome the darkest nights and choose love and light.

August is the 8th month of the year. We are well past the half-way point in 2023.

I had such plans for myself in January. The previous couple of years had been a challenge due to some health issues. I was hopeful that the antibiotics, etc. had done their work and I’d be on top of the world again.

Alas, that was/is not my reality.

When I look around me, I do not see progress. However, my very best friend was reminding me just yesterday that even when I don’t think I’ve done anything, I actually have.

She is, of course, correct. I’ve gotten up, dressed, done my morning routine of fixing tea and protein bar. I’ve checked emails 99% of the time. I feed myself. So, what’s this “I’ve not done anything” about?

It’s actually very simple.

I’ve always been an independent doing kind of person. I make a list and Do It. Of courses there are days when not Everything gets done and by the end of the week or maybe in extreme cases, the month, it does all get done.

I noticed that I was falling behind around the beginning of 2004. I’d been in another auto accident and it was Much Harder for me to recover from that. When I look back I see that my list “One of These Days” started between then and 2010. That’s 19 years!

I won’t bore you with my “One of These Days” and “Gonna Do It” lists. I will tell you that I’ve made progress on whittling them down. And yes, there are and have been challenges along the way.

#1: Finding someone who can do things I cannot do who is competent and available and affordable. I managed that in May 2023.

#2: Giving myself a realistic time frame. I’m working on that one.

#3: Sorting things into what I can do and what I need help to get done. Some things no one else can do. For example: I did get a simple Will written out and notarized the day before I traveled to St. Louis, MO for the 2023 Glasser conference.

#4: Along with the realistic time frame is pacing. I don’t have the stamina to work on more physical projects every day and sometimes not even every other day.

#5: Celebrate successes! Yep, one of those things that makes everything easier and yet…

#6: One of the core messages in Dr. William Glasser’s teaching is “Is what I’m Doing bringing me closer or pushing me apart from the people who matter?” I’ve adapted that to “Is what I’m doing now helping me move forward or holding me back? Is it something that will matter next week, month, year or in 5 or 10 years?” By answering this question, I put things in perspective and that is helpful to me.

#7: Be flexible both in terms of time lines and also what is important. Revisit the “will it matter in weeks, months, years”. There are things I’d like to have done that don’t actually affect my life. An example is to have the roof of my house “raised” and the upper level made into two large main bedrooms including a lovely bathroom, closet and balcony off the back of the house where I can see Mt. Hood on a clear winter day. I’ve lived here 47 years without that. However many years I have left, while it would be nice, it isn’t necessary.

#8: Share the load. As I said, there are things that only I can do. There are also Lots of things, other people can either do or help me with them. This one seems so easy and yet, for an independent person it is one of the more difficult. I am making progress and still have a ways to go!

#9: Find joy in each day, each step along this path.

#10: Be grateful. I am very fortunate in so many ways. Focusing on what I have rather than what I don’t have or don’t have yet actually makes my life simpler, easier and happier.

What would you add to this list?

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Learn more about Judith's The Sacred Women’s Circle series at JudithAshleyRomance.com

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© 2023 Judith Ashley

10 comments:

Diana McCollum said...

Judith,

It sounds like you have a good strategy on moving forward, with and without help.

I enjoyed your post.

Barbara Rae Robinson said...

I like your attitude, Judith. You accomplish far more than I do. Just keep on doing what you're doing.

Lynn Lovegreen said...

Excellent list, Judith. It sounds like you are adapting to the changes and challenges in your life--good for you! I can't think of anything to add to the list, but I especially like your #9, find joy. That makes the rest more fun!

Judith Ashley said...

Diana, thanks for commenting. I am further along than I used to be...a better perspective than looking at how far I've left to go.

Judith Ashley said...

Barb, we could debate on who gets more done. I'd be pleased to be in a tie with you...we both do what's important to us to get done. You certainly do more cooking, etc. than I do. Because of where I live, I can go outside to walk...you use your treadmill, etc.

Judith Ashley said...

Lynn, for some reason #9 is more difficult for me to do on some days. On others? Easy peasy! Thanks for commenting.

Deb N said...

A great list, Judith. Knowing when something important MUST be done and doing that is important. The rest is all about, I wish... Or that sounds fun... But life won't fall apart if I don't get to those things this week or this month or... That could be called procrastination. But sometimes, it is healthy to procrastinate.

Dari LaRoche said...

Love the post, Judith. I have TO DO lists for different facets of my life--like personal, writing, business. Sheesh!

Judith Ashley said...

Deb, I define procrastination in a couple of ways. #1: It's something I don't really want to do in the first place but think I should, ought to, etc. #2: If I'm not sure I'll do it perfectly, then... So, when I am putting something off I do check to see if the task fits one of those definitions or is one of those "I wish ones." Or, it would be wonderful if it was done but it isn't at the level of importance I'll actually get it done.

Judith Ashley said...

Dari, I used to have multiple lists. Now I tend to do it by time frame...this month I want to start or complete xxx and I may have items that fit different areas/facets of my life. I always come back to the best advice which is "use the system that works best for us" Since you are very productive, I'd say your life's facet lists are working.