SHOPPING: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly by Dari LaRoche

 

Shopping can be fun. Or, shopping can be awful. It can draw us together. It can separate us and cause fights and rifts. Many times, it has nothing to do with money. It may be solely an attempt to impose our will on another as if we know better. Like sisters, spouses, even friends and work colleagues.

One of my shopping trips was funny in retrospect, but still embarrassing and the worst. It happened at Christmastime in a huge Nordstrom store in a major mall outside Washington, D.C. I was trying to do some last-minute shopping for Christmas.

THE GOOD: I Love Christmas

I adore the decorations and the store window displays in the malls. I always smile when I see them and I see the wonder in the children’s eyes at all the toys—dolls, trucks, blocks, books, trains—you name it.

I like to dress in Christmas colors at work, so on this particular day I wore a bright red dress with a full flowing skirt that came below my knees. I even wore ruby red earrings in each ear and an additional emerald in my earlobe with a double piercing.

After many packages and a couple hours, I needed to find a restroom. In this case, it was on the second floor on the back wall. I had to pass the pianist, decked out for Christmas in a suit with a red bow tie, playing on the black baby grand in an area of the store featuring higher budget women’s wear.

Well, everyone knows that when shopping alone, you need to maneuver yourself into one of those little stalls and make every effort not to set your bags on the floor. I managed that, and came out, washed my hands, and refreshed my lipstick. Only slightly frazzled, I gathered my packages from the sink counter and headed out the door, happy that I only had to search for one more gift.

 

THE BAD AND THE UGLY: Can you guess?

I had to wend my way around racks of clothing and lower display counters, past the grand piano with the man playing Christmas music, and then past an assistant at a podium in this specialty area in order to make it to the elevator. As I passed him, he called to me, which I ignored, since I was thinking about the last gift I needed to find. A few more steps and I felt his hand on my shoulder as he urgently pulled me back and leaned down to whisper in my ear.

“Your skirt is tucked in your panty hose!”

I am sure many of you have been there. Not the men, of course, but if any men are reading this, I am certain there have been times in your lives when you have left your zipper down and someone used some odd expression to try to tell you. One that comes to my mind is…

“Buddy, you left the barn door open.”

And there are many others. So we have all been there. AWKWARD!!!!

Needless to say, I hustled back to the restroom, fixed my skirt, splashed some cold water on my face to cool my cheeks, and left. I uttered a heartfelt thank you as I passed him on my way out of the store. I had done enough for this trip and decided I would live again to shop another day. Christmas was still a week away.

 What about you? Any moments like this in your shopping life? Did you survive?

 

Dari LaRoche contacts

For more info about me and my writing, check out my website at https://darilaroche.com where you can sign up for my occasional newsletter. Follow me on Facebook at Dari LaRoche Author and Instagram at @darilarocheauthor.