Phobia – Oxford Dictionary – an extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something, triggered by specific or general events or items.
My phobias are snakes and spiders and heights, but
since they are my phobias, I don’t want to even think about them, much less
write about them.
All I can say is I had traumatic encounters with the
first two when I lived overseas as a child in the land of yucky things that
caused me great anxiety. I don’t think of them as irrational fears, since the
exposure to the first two could have been not only dangerous, but deadly. The
third, a fear of heights, was a learned phobia from my mom who flipped out any time
we were near heights. After many decades of life, I am slowly…almost…conquering
that phobia.
Grandson conquering a Maine mountain
So, I still stay away from edges situated along great
heights, but I can now slowly inch closer. And I still cover my eyes when I see
photos of snakes and spiders, and avoid both, at all costs, in real life. For example,
when I worked in alumni relations at an environmental college, I co-edited the
alumni magazine. Part of that duty was editing the entire issue. Undoubtedly,
there was always at least one photo in the issue that had a snake in it, as the
guy who was the managing editor and put together the magazine loved snakes. In
one issue, there was a two-page spread with such a photo. I asked my intern,
now a career biologist in Africa (who is NOT afraid of snakes,) to edit that
page and then flip it to the next page on my computer, so I could open my eyes.
We still keep in touch via FB, and he still teases me about that. Luckily, he
now studies birds and I can look at his FB page.
 |
| Jonah holding a Blue-breasted Bee-eater in Africa |
As for my characters… I like to think I give them
things, emotions or responses, that cause them discomfort. But I don’t believe
I have ever given them an actual phobia. Their fears / issues are what many
people have similar reactions to and can be considered rational or normal.
For example, falling in love can only cause hurt and heartache. These reactions may be the result from past life experiences or insecurities. So, getting to know our character’s past, off the page, before we write them in their present situation is important. One such hurt could be how our characters process and move forward after a bad break-up.
Strangely, as I write this post, I realize I gave my
hero the same anxiety about wanting to carve his own path. He feels guilty that
he isn’t home helping run the ranch and is instead working his life’s dream to
be a conservation officer. In order to do what he wants, he felt it necessary
to also move away to pursue his dream.
The two strangers, stuck together, first in a vehicle and later a log cabin, during a days-long blizzard, end up bonding over their shared experience of feeling as though they disappointed their families. Although one is an only child and feels the burden of her parent’s dream. The other is the youngest of six, and chose a career away from the ranch, in order to be his own person. His angst stems from his mom passing away when he was so young. As a result, he felt abandoned by everyone in his family. His mom doted on him. And his dad and siblings, lost in their own grieving and still trying to function in school and work, seemed to forget about him.
In another book I’m currently editing for release in
2024, Rescuing the Sheriff, the heroine’s phobia is not trusting
anyone, especially law enforcement, as she is hunted by her turned rogue police
officer, step-brother. She is not sure if her fears are justified, but she suspects
he is responsible for her mother’s death and intends to harm her. Her fear is
based on evidence, but also on the belief no one will believe her, especially
the stern sheriff in the small town where she is hiding.
 |
| Fear? or Phobias? |
The hero in the story fears not belonging. And has set
out his entire life to prove he is good enough for the family who adopted him.
He doesn’t believe he deserves their love or anyone else’s. This fear is
irrational, but stems from the childhood trauma of losing both his parents. He
loves his adoptive family, and most likely has this fear of not belonging because
his heritage is different from the rest of the family.
Neither believe they belong, and yet each finds the
other. Together, with the help of his loving adoptive family, they each teach the
other that they deserve to belong.
So, I wouldn’t call any of these characteristics phobias,
but deep fear and feelings of self-doubt that need to be corrected, with help
from another person who truly understands, as they too have experienced similar
fears.
Do
you have fears or phobias? How do you deal with confronting those fears?
Barnes & Noble (also
in print)
Holiday Hitchhiker
~
cottages to cabins ~ keep the home fires burning ~
Delsora Lowe writes small town sweet and spicy romances
and contemporary westerns, from the mountains of Colorado to the shores of
Maine.
Author of the Starlight Grille series, Serenity Harbor
Maine novellas, and the Cowboys of
Mineral Springs series, Lowe has also authored short romances for Woman’s World magazine. The Love Left
Behind is a Hartford Estates, R.I. wedding novella. A Christmas
novel (The Inn at Gooseneck Lane) and novella (Holiday Hitchhiker)
were released in late fall 2022. Look for book 3 and 4 of the cowboy’s series, as
well as book 2 of the Hartford Estates series, in 2024-25.
Social Media Links:
Author website: www.delsoralowe.com
Facebook Author page: https://www.facebook.com/delsoraloweauthor/community/
Amazon Author page: https://www.amazon.com/Delsora-Lowe/e/B01M61OM39/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0
Books2Read Author page: https://www.books2read.com/ap/8GWm98/Delsora-Lowe
BookBub Author Page: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/delsora-lowe-93c6987f-129d-483d-9f5a-abe603876518
Goodreads Author Page: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/16045986.Delsora_Lowe
Instagram: #delsoralowe
/ https://www.instagram.com/delsoralowe/
Photo Credits:
Conquering
the Mountain: My grandson, photo taken by my son
Phobias: In
My Head - Free phobias,
Download Free phobias png images,
Free ClipArts on Clipart Library clipart-library.com)
Blizzard: Photo taken by Delsora Lowe
Bird: Blue-breasted Bee-eater in Africa, permisson to use from
Jonah’s FB page
9 comments:
Delsora, that's a really interesting take on character fears! We know they all need to have them. Without them the characters won't feel like real people (and the story might not be too interesting!).
I only have one true phobia, which is a fear of slippery surfaces. Not great since I live in New England and have to deal with winter and ice every year! How I cope is by trying to remind myself that the fear makes me tense up, and that the tension can make my fear a self-fulfilling behavior --I'll slip and fall exactly because I'm afraid and tense! It is based on childhood trauma. For some time I had an undiagnosed hip out of alignment --caused by a fall down some stairs, but after which my balance was off and that led to more falls.
I've only once given a character a true phobia. The hero in my second Regency (from 1995), The Persistent Earl, is afraid of flying things (birds, bats) because of a childhood trauma he underwent. Of course he has to face it several times, and heroically overcome it in the climax....
Thanks for a fun topic!
I enjoyed your blog post!
Like you, I cannot look at a picture or video or movie of my phobia. Which is SHARKS!
I hate shark week on the tv as i never know when the ads are coming!!! I cannot look at one at the aquarium , or in a magazine either.
I'm not sure why I have this phobia. The first time I remember fearing the word 'shark', our family had just moved to CA from OK. My parents were talking about a shark attack in San Francisco Bay. In my mind at that time, sharks looked like flying fish. Later on of course I did learn what they look like.
Maybe I was shipwrecked in a previous life and had to deal with "Sharks"???
Gail - oh dear, you just ID'd another one of my fears that I didn't think of. I am a mincer across ice and any surface that looks wet. I, too, tense up. No fun in the winter, for sure. And... we live in New England
Diana - OMG - I never thought of sharks, but I too, fear them and do not like to see photos of them. But not as bad a fear as that of the "not-to-be-mentioned" creatures that I talked about in my blog. Now that sharks are coming farther north, and we have seen sightings of them (I live near the coast) - UGH!
Great article, Deb! I share your three phobias and will raise you claustrophobia. My husband's favorite thing in the world is hunting venomous snakes...not to kill them but to pick them up with his snake stick (just to prove he can, I think) and relocate them if they're in an area where they might come to harm. Thankfully ours is a second marriage: he took his kids snake hunting from the time they were little. If I had been there mother, I would have ended him the first time he tried it.
OMG - Janet - My mention of childhood experiences overseas involved venomous snakes - one the 3rd deadliest in the world - AHHHH Not a fun memory.
I enjoyed your post, Deb. I gave my hero a phobia of heights in Blindsight. Hmmm, didn't really explain where it came from. The heroine's greatest fear is being alone, due to losing her family and her sight in a car accident.
Phobias can help our characters to dig deep for the courage to overcome the fear in extraordinary circumstances. But I feel it is much more important to know the deep fear/character flaw that motivates their interactions with others.
Interesting post, Delsora. I like the way you separate fears from phobias.
Thanks for this, Deb. I've been struggling with whether I must make my two MC's deepest fears totally different. It's good to know that they can share the same basic category of fear, even if it is formed through different experiences and manifests differently for each.
Post a Comment