Wednesday, April 3, 2024

Three Things I Do Well

 By R. Weaver


I decorate a mean Christmas tree.  Not bragging here, just saying that days (and weeks, and months) of planning makes a person a little more than an average tinsel-er.

Or obsessed.

I have an abundance of ornaments, which makes for a full and glitzy tree, but I’m always making more baubles. Why? Em… now that I’m trying to string together an answer to this question… Maybe I am obsessed.

I’m the first to admit, this tree glamouring skill/obsession is debilitating. If I’d use my time to start a business instead of gluing, painting, glass fusing, and getting glitter out of my rugs/kitchen/hair/etc., I’d probably be rich.

Then I could buy more ornaments.

Wait! That’s not what I meant to say. Really.



Eating French fries.

I’m absolutely aces at this. I can eat ‘em slow, eat ‘em fast, and everything in between. I can distinguish between a perfectly fried tater and a spud that’s overcooked with a single taste. (Superman, eat your heart out). What’s more, I can even eat fries while jogging; although I’m better when I’m just speed walking.

I know, you’re jealous, and I shouldn’t brag--even a little—so “sorry.” I’ll try not to rub salt into the starch (hey, I never said I do puns well).



I’m a superb leaper. No, not the long jump or poll vaulter variety, just your run-of-the-will leaper-to-conclusions.  Sometimes I make the right assumption.  Often, I don’t precisely get it precisely correct.

Hold on… maybe the ratio of right-to-wrong conclusions disqualifies this skill from things I do well. Hmmm… Nah, I leap really fast, so I’m good at the jumpin’ part, right?  Being an Olympian at drawing the correct conclusions is an entirely different category.

Anyway, here’s hoping this year's leaps take you in a positive direction. Have a great spring!



Judith Ashley said...

Robin, I knew about the Christmas tree obsession. Had no idea you had such an amazing skill set with French fries and Leaping. Hope you also have a Great Spring!

Anonymous said...

Great blog. I don't have the Christmas tree, but jumping to conclusions, I'm superb. I refuse to even consider how many time's I'm wrong. I'd rather conclude I'm always right with absolutely no data to back me up. That is the category isn't it.

Natcon said...

Love this blog and the laughs! Entertaining no matter the subject!!

Anonymous said...

I'm envious of your talents!!!

Lynn Lovegreen said...

Fun post, Robin. I'll take you along anytime I need a good Christmas tree! :-)

Deb N said...

Love this post! And your dog's photo - so adorable. Looks just like my grand-dog, minus the fries. Although Yaz usually does have something hanging out of his mouth. And yes, jogging and eating fries might be a bit risky, but walking and eating fries - YUP, I've been known to do that too.

Sarah Raplee said...

Hilarious as usual, Robin! Love your posts!!!