Three Things I Do Well

 By R. Weaver

One:

I decorate a mean Christmas tree.  Not bragging here, just saying that days (and weeks, and months) of planning makes a person a little more than an average tinsel-er.

Or obsessed.

I have an abundance of ornaments, which makes for a full and glitzy tree, but I’m always making more baubles. Why? Em… now that I’m trying to string together an answer to this question… Maybe I am obsessed.

I’m the first to admit, this tree glamouring skill/obsession is debilitating. If I’d use my time to start a business instead of gluing, painting, glass fusing, and getting glitter out of my rugs/kitchen/hair/etc., I’d probably be rich.

Then I could buy more ornaments.

Wait! That’s not what I meant to say. Really.

 

Two:

Eating French fries.

I’m absolutely aces at this. I can eat ‘em slow, eat ‘em fast, and everything in between. I can distinguish between a perfectly fried tater and a spud that’s overcooked with a single taste. (Superman, eat your heart out). What’s more, I can even eat fries while jogging; although I’m better when I’m just speed walking.

I know, you’re jealous, and I shouldn’t brag--even a little—so “sorry.” I’ll try not to rub salt into the starch (hey, I never said I do puns well).

 

Three:

I’m a superb leaper. No, not the long jump or poll vaulter variety, just your run-of-the-will leaper-to-conclusions.  Sometimes I make the right assumption.  Often, I don’t precisely get it precisely correct.

Hold on… maybe the ratio of right-to-wrong conclusions disqualifies this skill from things I do well. Hmmm… Nah, I leap really fast, so I’m good at the jumpin’ part, right?  Being an Olympian at drawing the correct conclusions is an entirely different category.

Anyway, here’s hoping this year's leaps take you in a positive direction. Have a great spring!

R