Pumpkin Spam Folder

By Robin Weaver

I’m such a geek.  When I first read this month’s theme – Pumpkin Spam, What Will They Think of Next – I actually thought the theme was “email spam” about pumpkins.  So embarrassing... Anyway, as I was pondering the topic and came up what I thought was an original idea – Pumpkin Ham– the lightbulb dawned. “Ahhhhh…that stuff in a can.”

 But let’s be real. They came up with Spam—some kind of mystery meat in a can. Does it really get any stranger? I guess it does. People buy Spam.

But the theme inspired me to do what I do best. Google. Here are the most bizarre pumpkin spice items this Google Queen discovered.  

Pumpkin Spice Cat Litter. No. Just No.

Pumpkin Spice Dog Cologne. Seriously, People. Give that dog a bath.

Pumpkin Spice Hummus.  I’m not sure this is a real product.  Look how they spelled Hommus. This might actually be spam. 

And while there are few things more organic than chick peas and pumpkin, cow manure and earthworms are also fit the au-naturel category. 

Pumpkin Spice Chewing Gum.  I’ll stick to my Big Red, thank you very much.

Pumpkin Flavored Toothpicks. I think Listerine invented this. Because you’ll need mouthwash after use.

·      

Pumpkin Spice Pringles.  Is this real? Please tell me no. Everyone knows what a French fry addict I am. Potato chips are the next best thing, so adding pumpkin spice to perfection is sacrilege!

What’s really sad? Just before writing this blog, I’d considered ordering some Pumpkin Spice Poo-pourri. Hey, it was a Prime Deal on Amazon. And Poo-pourri is not a misspelling. I don’t do bathroom humor, so if you don’t know what this product is, Google. I learned about Poo-pourri from my daughter. Apparently, the spray is a friendship saver when five girls share a hotel room. (P.S. I ordered the vanilla).

In conclusion, enjoy that pumpkin spice latte. Gobble up that B&J Pumpkin cheesecake. Then tell Wall Street, “Enough with the Pumpkin Spice Already.” This thanksgiving, I might just skip the Pumpkin Pie.

Happy Fall Everyone.

R