Please Spare Me the Stupid Heroines ... by Jennifer Wilck

I’ve been reading romance for what seems like forever. Sure, I read other genres, but since I first felt those pangs of love, I’ve enjoyed reading about the hero’s and heroine’s journey to love, and I’ve sighed in pleasure when they achieve their well-deserved happily ever after. Over the years, the genre has changed, whether it be due to society’s acceptance of things, social norms, changes in writing style, or just time passing. The flowery writing of the eighties would be laughed off the shelves now. But even when I reread books from then, I can accept a lot of things that wouldn’t fly today.

The one thing I’ll never accept?

Dumb heroines.

You know the heroine I’m talking about. In movies or TV shows, she’s the one that hears a noise and goes toward it. Or does something incredibly stupid that has no reason for occurring, other than maybe allowing some character to rush in and save her, even though she should know—as does the entire audience—not to do that.

The same holds true in romance books. I don’t want to read about a woman who can’t function on her own, who absolutely needs a man to save her.* I’m perfectly fine with vulnerability. I’m fine with a heroine making mistakes—we all do that, and it’s one of the qualities that make characters relatable. But being unable to function without the hero is a reading turnoff for me.

For that reason, when I became a writer, I made sure to write strong heroines. Some of them are single moms, who might be tired and overworked, but are fully capable of holding down a job and taking care of their child. They might wish things were different, but they’re capable and fully functioning.

Others are escaping a past where they’ve made life-altering mistakes. Were their mistakes stupid? Possibly. Then again, hindsight is 20/20, and we’ve all done things that we regret. But they’ve learned from their mistakes and are determined not to repeat them.

Some are either chasing a future that is markedly different from their childhood. They’ve seen what their parents have done, and they are determined to do things differently. Do they slip up? Sometimes. But they pull themselves up, figure out what they did wrong, and change their direction.

So how does my hero fit into the life of a strong heroine? Well, first, I love writing damaged heroes. So quite often, it’s my heroine who is “saving” my hero. She challenges him, teases him, and forces him to consider things he hadn’t considered before.

Second, if the hero does swoop in and do any saving, it’s on her terms. If he’s arrogant and bossy, he soon learns he’ll have to change his behavior in order for her to accept anything, much less help, from him.

And third, the heroes and heroines in my stories ultimately share the load equally. Falling in love doesn’t mean giving up one’s dreams. In my stories, it means expanding them. Relationships require communication and compromise—on both sides. It’s only at that point where both of them realize that accepting help isn’t a sign of weakness, and strength comes in many forms.

*For the purposes of this blog, I’m talking about M/F romances, since that is what I typically read and always write. However, I have read some really great M/M romances, too, and I’m happy to recommend authors if you’re interested (ones who don’t write stupid characters).

UNLOCK MY HEART

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Jennifer Wilck is an award-winning contemporary romance author for readers who are passionate about love, laughter, and happily ever after. Known for writing both Jewish and non-Jewish romances, her books feature damaged heroes, sassy and independent heroines, witty banter, and hot chemistry. Jennifer’s ability to transport the reader into the scene, create characters the reader will fall in love with, and evoke a roller coaster of emotions, will hook you from the first page. You can find her books at all major online retailers in a variety of formats.

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I Do even when it's a Dont!

By: Marcia King-Gamble

www.lovemarcia.com

Growing up, little girls were fed this fairytale idea of what weddings should be. Weddings were a measure of your worth, and a culmination of what life was about. You'd gotten your man.

At some point, every woman expected Prince Charming to arrive on his white horse, and sweep her off her feet. At last, everything would be right in her world.  A castle awaited her, and when she said, “I do,” white doves would flutter up to the sky, and pyrotechnics would go off around her, even if those fireworks were only in her head.  Marriage meant you made it. Someone loved you.

Weddings were a celebration and it was an honor to be invited. Proud dads were glad to hand their daughters off  to the would be groom, as they would be taken care of, and there would be a forever and ever.

That was one of the reasons I fell in love with the romance genre, because of what I read, heard, and imagined.  In fact, when I first started reading romance novels, and writing them, the satisfying ending to every love story was the over the top wedding.

The above picture confirms Match.com works. But lovely as wedding ceremonies, and receptions can be, the brutal truth, is that regardless of how well planned, things go wrong. We learn to roll with it,  hopefully with humor, trusting our guests to have enough alcohol in them not to notice, or to ignore the hiccups that come with putting an expensive, orchestrated event together. 

Weddings, no matter how simple or small, can be pricey occasions.  Some are funny, some are sad, and some are downright ridiculous. Some have you remembering them for ever and ever, and not necessarily in a good way.

Over the years, I have seen and heard everything at these events. I have seen brides arrive to church by way of pick-up trucks. I have seen ornery, pet goats as part of the bridal party. Unsupervised, they've taken large chunks out of the bridal party's bouquets. I've seen in-laws who make it known loud and clear, the bride or groom would not have been their choice. I’ve experienced the cash bar, when no one tells you in advance, and you have no money. I've seen  the drunk mother of the bride, proposition the groom, and I've been where the main entertainment was the bride and groom's reenactment of  a scene from the Wild, Wild West. This was in Alaska, by the way, when I unknowingly became an extra during dinner at the hotel's restaurant.    

Several years ago, I was invited to a wedding in a state park. The groom was handsome, and a young, up and coming entrepreneur, destined for greatness. He’d just made the cover of a popular magazine. The bride was the heiress of a publishing family. The family had spent seventy five thousand dollars (which even by today’s standards is pricey,)  to reserve the park. My then husband and I were excited to be included as guests. The ceremony went off flawlessly, but the bride never made it out to cut the cake. She was way too intoxicated, and so the band played on. The disgusted groom eventually left the event and hitchhiked home. The marriage was quickly annulled.

This is just one of the many drunk wedding stories out there. We hear tales of wedding guests getting into fights, (alcohol having much to do with it.) There are stories of lost wedding bands, and former lovers storming the event, hoping to stop it, and marriages not being consummated because of some surprise issue that turned up. And we have witnessed everything from animals going wild, doing everything from defecating in the aisle to biting the crying ring-bearer.  

During my cruise industry life, I heard a story of a destination wedding gone wrong. Unfortunately, a hurricane hit the island,  and the window of the hotel room blew out.  The wedding dress was sucked out into the storm and the grooms tuxedo was so drenched, it actually shrunk. Signs of things to come, maybe?

There are stories on the Internet  of bridesmaids fired  via email, and asked to return dresses so  replacements could wear them. There’s the bride who sent her guests a misspelled list of Do’s and Don’ts at her wedding.   Please adhere to my wedding rules, or kindly don’t attend.

One of the cutest stories I’ve heard is of the seventy year grandmother who ran off to Las Vegas to get married in her granddaughter’s old prom dress. She was marrying her seventy four year old love.

The wedding stories are cute, bizarre, and at times downright ugly, yet we continue to believe in love, and marriage remains a sign that we are committed enough to a person to want to give it a try. When it works there is nothing better. 

I leave you with one of the sweetest wedding stories I’ve heard. A tale of meant to be.

They were only three years old, and served as the ring bearer and flower girl at the groom’s godmother's wedding. Soon after, they went their separate ways, until a decade or so later, their paths crossed  again. This time in high school, when the flower girl brought in a picture from that wedding. It was the same one the boy had hanging in the hallway of his home. The wedding was the only time he’d  seen her until then. They dated shortly after and ended up getting married.

It’s a beautiful story and makes you believe in fate. And that is why we continue to marry, because weddings make us happy and fill us with hope.  

About Marcia King-Gamble

Romance writer, Marcia King-Gamble originally hails from a sunny Caribbean island where the sky and ocean are the same mesmerizing shade of blue. This travel industry executive and current world traveler has spent most of life in the United States. A National Bestselling author, Marcia has penned over 34 books and 8 novellas. Her free time is spent at the gym, traveling to exotic locales, and caring for her animal family.

Visit Marcia at www.lovemarcia.com or “friend” her on Facebook: http://bit.ly/1MlnrIS

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True Love Runs Smooth?

by Diana McCollum

The course of true love never did run smooth ~ William Shakespeare

This statement by William Shakespeare is so true. In songs, especially country western, in theater, in movies, on T.V. and in books, love never runs smoothly. And would we want it to?

Copyright : Vladimir Salman 

I think not. If it ran smoothly, boy would meet girl, and it would be a straight shot to boy and girl live happily ever after. There would be no journey, nothing to root for, we’d probably turn off the TV, walk out of the theater (because it would be a really short play), or throw the book at the wall.

Why would we want to read, listen or watch something like that? We wouldn’t. The more conflict and obstacles our hero and heroine have to overcome the sweeter the reward of their happily ever after for the audience.

Shakespeare in his wisdom new this inherently and used it wisely in his works. 

Now if you’re talking REAL life, we probably do want our relationships to run smoothly. But they don’t always, and we learn from each experience, disagreement or argument. I think there would be something WRONG with a relationship where there was no conflict at all. The give and take in a relationship is how we learn to compromise, and gains respect toward our partners.

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Can you think of a movie, TV show or book where the romance was obstacle free?

I love “Sleepless in Seattle”, “Fifty 1^stdates”, “When Harry Met Sally”, and “Enough Said” just to name a few. All these movies had conflict or obstacles to overcome.

What is your favorite love story: movie or book?