Romancing the Genres: Manspeak

There are so many things that must happen to have a good relationship or partnership. And there are so many things that can derail that same relationship or partnership. Now I don’t begin to claim to know what all those things are or how to solve them in real life. But I do know that what I throw at my characters are the challenges that come from a new or growing or steady and reliable relationship, depending on the story line.

In real life we want to avoid struggles and solve each one as it pops up. As writers, we want to throw challenges and struggles in the path of our characters to force them to deal with conflict by resolving them each step of the way. By dealing with the not so pleasant aspects of life and relationships, our characters learn to work with each other, compromise, and grow. The journey is both full of stumbling blocks and emotional. And if we write romance, the goal is to make sure the heroes and heroines acquire the tools to navigate stumbling blocks, and learn and grow enough to end up HAPPIY-EVER-AFTER with each other.

As if it were that easy.

Truthfully, our goal as writers of romance is to make the characters struggle, learn, and resolve.

One way to make your characters squirm is through conversation. There is research that indicates men and women converse in different ways with different expectations on how the conversation will go.

In an article entitled “‘Manspeak’ and ‘Womanspeak’: Interpretation Needed” in the Philadelphia Inquirer on June 10, 2020, the author says:

“Our ponderous query:
Are men and women constitutionally incapable of speaking the same
language?
There is "manspeak," an abbreviated system of monosyllabic responses and an occasional sentence.
And then there is "womanspeak," which undulates and flows with meaning and nuance. Words come easily and are plentiful. Compound sentences and multiple paragraphs are common.
So what happens when you plunk down two different language speakers in one household?
Confusion. Irritation. Frustration. And, of course, communication gaps.”

Having one character interpret the other’s intent, and not get it right, sets both up for conflict in
their relationship. Having the two learn to converse—talk things out, negotiate their different wants and needs—leads to growth for each and eventually a happy resolution.

What we want to see is the characters learning more about each other, struggling along the way, and then learning to compromise and understand. If a reader doesn’t experience the growth, and the conflict that should precipitate growth between the characters that lead to a happy resolution—the prerequisite happily-ever-after in a romance—then they will leave the story behind less satisfied.

As both writers and readers of romance, our goal is to root for the characters to find that happy resolution. But if authors don’t add roadblocks, whether internal angst of some sort, or external forces that cause strife that lead the reader to believe “oh, no, what if these two don’t make it?,” then we don’t give the reader an emotional ride.

June is considered one of the big months for weddings—considered the ultimate in pursuing and eventually achieving a happily-ever-after. But we all know the angst and conflict that can arise in preparing a wedding and getting to the alter. And that emotional struggle continues in every step a couple takes throughout their relationship.

The ups and downs should make couples stronger together and individually, as they navigate the years. That is what romance writers strive for when writing about relationships—the emotional ups and downs that lead to that all important happily-ever-after or happily-for-now.

Here’s to effective communication and happy resolutions!

The Love Left Behind
a wedding novella

Amazon
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Left-Behind-Hartford-Estate-ebook/dp/B08L5N5DS9/

Books2Read books2read.com/u/mglVqK

~ cottages to cabins ~ keep the home fires burning ~

Delsora Lowe writes small town sweet and spicy romances and contemporary westerns from the mountains of Colorado to the shores of Maine.

Author of the Starlight Grille series, Serenity Harbor Maine novellas, and the Cowboys of Mineral Springs series, Lowe has also authored short romances for Woman’s World magazine. Her new novella, The Love Left Behind, will release in late fall, 2020.

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