Living to be 100 years old? Hmm...

Hi, I’m Judith Ashley, author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, soul nourishing romantic women’s fiction with light paranormal elements. My stories show you what life could be like if you had a place like The Circle where you are unconditionally accepted, supported and loved. And where, with this support, you make choices to overcome the darkest nights of your life to choose love and light.

Romancing The Genres’ theme this month is “What You Look Forward To As You Age?” Being in the eighth decade of my life I’ve given this theme a lot of thought.

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Growing up I did think about, even wanted to live to be 100 years old. I thought in terms of all the world and personal events I’d see and be a part of. My earliest memories are of the mid-1940’s. I remember seeing my mom cry when, I later realized, my dad must have gotten his draft papers. I remember my brother, Jim, as a small child, toddling around. He was 3 years younger than me.

Spoiler alert: I wasn’t thinking of living to be 100 years old then. I saw my parents and grandparents (late 20’s and 50’s respectively) as Really old.

I remember when people celebrated their 100 birthday, they were written up in the newspaper, interviewed on the radio, received a letter of congratulations from the President of the United States…and then when television became a major form of communication, they were interviewed by reporters and even Johnny Carson.

Maybe it was being ‘noticed’ or ‘special’ that appealed to me. Growing up in the 1940’s and 1950’s being a girl was not something that supported any of us living outside society’s rules for us. I could be a nurse (not a doctor), a secretary (not the boss), a teacher (not the principal much less the superintendent) and I could get married and support my husband’s career. What heady stuff, living to be 100 years old! And most of those people reaching that age were women!

How I wish Girl Power was
Alive and Well in the
1940's, 1950's, 1960's
and more
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I do remember my dad explaining to me why I was going to college. Yes, it was to get an education so I could be a public school teacher, but it was more about my having a profession I could fall back on if my husband wasn’t able to support/take care of his family. Do notice the pronouns.

I loved history. My college advisor said I would never get a teaching job as a history teacher because those jobs went to men because men could also coach sports. Remember Title 9 wasn’t in play then so there weren’t school sports programs for girls or women.

But I digress. Back to living to be 100!

My maternal aunt, Helen, lived to a few months from her 105^th birthday. I was excited to spend time with her when we gathered to celebrate her 100^th! I was full of questions and she patiently answered them. The two that made a lasting impression on me were

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+What has changed the most in your life time? Transportation. She was born in 1909 and the automobile was not everywhere as it is today. She lived to see jet airplanes, rockets and people on the moon.

+ What advice do you have for me? Life happens. It has ups and downs. Take it as it comes and you’ll be happier.

Now in my 8^th decade what do I look forward to?

Not the same things I did when younger. I no longer dream of celebrating my 100 birthday.

Why? Because I’m not fond of all the technical advancements so seeing more of those are not an enticement to me. I’ve no interest in populating Mars or any other planet. I am interested in making Earth more user friendly with cleaner air, water, food.

I’ve reset my goal to live to be 100 years old to living to 96. Why 96?

Queen Elizabeth died at 96.
Roselyn Carter died at 96.
Angela Lansbury died at 96.
Katherine Hepburn died at 96.

I admire each of these extraordinary women.

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Also at 96 (2037), I will have lived long enough to see my great grands graduate from high school (2032 and 2034) with a few years to spare. My granddaughters will be in their 40’s and well on their way to their life goals. I expect many of my friends and other family members will have already died. That’s not something I look forward to, it is something I accept is part of what makes up my life.

So in the intervening years I look forward to

Reclaiming and maintaining my physical health.

Enjoying each day to the best of my ability. I will admit that on higher pain level days finding that joy is a bit, well actually, quite a bit more difficult.

Staying focused on my spiritual path because when I do that everything else falls more easily into place.

What is my spiritual path? The foundation of The Sacred Women’s Circle novels. I’ve learned over the decades of my lifetime that there is more than one path to The Divine.

In my books, I share how seven women from divergent backgrounds come together and find a shared path. A path where each of them claims a spiritual practice that sustains them through various life challenging times.

Domestic violence, breast cancer, infidelity, abandonment, injury, loss are part of each of our everyday lives. How do you cope with these life events? Check out The Sacred Women’s Circle novels to see how Lily, Elizabeth, Diana, Ashley, Hunter, Gabriella and Sophia dealt with them in their lives.

Learn more about my books, workshops and training on my website JudithAshley.net.

You can find my books at your favorite e-book vendor as well as through my website www.JudithAshley.net and Windtree Press. Print books are available at Arte Soleil in Portland, OR. Get the addresses from my website. And be sure to ask your library if you’d prefer to read my books through that resource.

Learn more about Judith's The Sacred Women’s Circle series at JudithAshley.net

Check out Judith’s Windtree Press author page.

You can also find Judith on FB! 

© 2024 Judith Ashley

Women of Influence

Judith Ashley

This month, Genre-istas are blogging about ‘women of  influence’. Linda Lovely suggested the topic and I’m looking forward to reading each one. Here’s my contribution with help from my friend, Judith Hobbs.

Growing up, the women in my life who were not relatives were teachers. When we got a television in the-50’s I remember Betty Furness in the commercial for a kitchen product. Not sure if it was Westinghouse, GE, Frigidaire…but I clearly remember her standing by the appliance and telling all women watching about its features.

There were no women news anchors or reporters.

There were no women principles or superintendents in the schools.

There were no women/girls sports in school.

I never saw a woman doctor or dentist until much later in my life.

So where were the women who influenced me?

I had a couple of teachers, Mrs. Good and Miss Hutchinson are names I remember but they were not the only women teachers I admired, looked up to, and who influenced my decision to become a teacher. Do you know how hard it is to learn to spell Llewellyn when you are in the first grade?

The heroines in the books I read. The princess in the tower waiting for her shining knight to rescue her (a lovely fantasy that provided lots of day dreams but in my real life he’s not shown up … yet).

The real life heroines: Queen Elizabeth I, Queen Victoria, Joan of Arc, Pocahontas come to mind. I remember reading Marie Curie’s biography and crying at the end. She struggled in the male dominated world of science and research. In some ways we’ve not progressed as far as I’d like. Think the Lily Ledbetter Law…

Political heroines? Barbara Jordan, Barbara Boxer, Nancy Pelosi, and other women who breached the all-male world of Congress as well as local women in politics. My home town has had women mayors and my home state has had a woman governor as well as women in other high ranking offices. Then there is Hilary Clinton: a political spouse, a U.S. Senator, and currently Secretary of State, and a former candidate for President of The United States.

Gloria Steinem and other women of the 70’s and 80’s brought women’s issues into the headlines. 

While I don’t remember her name, it was a woman who founded MADD. Due to the efforts of that organization and the laws they’ve championed, thousands of people are alive today.

While it is true I grew up in a male dominated world (my career options were teacher, nurse, secretary, beautician, wife/mother), there were women close to home whose influence I’ve come to appreciate. My mother put her dreams on hold forever when she married my father. So many women of her generation did because that was what was expected. It took me a very long time to see the sacrifice she made for her husband’s career and her children’s lives.

I’ve long-lived aunts (one is 103), who’ve shown me through the daily living of their lives how to age with grace and gratitude.

I’ve friends who’ve overcome enormous odds in their childhoods and adult lives to be special people because of or in spite of their backgrounds.

And lastly, my granddaughters, age 16 and 22, influence me by showing me a different world than the one I grew up in. They invite me into their diverse, tolerant worlds where they see a bright future full of many different options. Career choices? There is very little closed to them if they want it and are willing to work for it. It isn’t unusual for me to wonder ‘what if’ about my own life after spending time with them, listening to them chatter with friends about their lives.

I find this time of year to be one of reflection – grey cloudy days often with wind and rain – days to sit by a fire with a good book or in front of the computer writing one. When I look back over my life I see the influence of many women - at different times, through different experiences, for different reasons. And I know my life is richer because of them.

On this day (11/01/2012) I’m adding a P.S. to honor a man who influenced my life in so many ways. Elmo B. Lambert died on 10/16/2012. He was 72. We shared the same birth date (the 19^th) and grew up listening to the same music. Severely injured when he was 20, confined to a wheelchair, dependent on others for food, shelter, clothing, hygiene, etc., he lived a full life in many ways. He was always focused on the people around him and while, due to a head injury, his memory was very poor, he’d remember the people who helped him and cared for him. His laugh was infectious and even when his speech was intelligible, those of us around him would be laughing with him. Elmo was my first private care management client, my first ward as a professional guardian and over 31+ years, we formed a tight-knit team. He taught me many things during our time together. I miss him as a person and I miss all he stood for in my life. Rest In Peace, Elmo.

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© 11/2012 Judith Ashley

A True Life Fairy Tale Wedding

Once upon a time there was a family of working-class coal miners and builders.  The grandmother, Dorothy Goldsmith, decided it was high time the family improved their financial and social standing.

Dorothy encouraged her daughter Carole to aim high, and she did.  Carole became an airline hostess with all the prestige that went with the job.  At her job Carole met a dispatcher named Michael Middleton. They fell in love and married.

By the time their first born Kate arrived, Carole had started a mail order party goods company out of the house.  With the drive that had been instilled into her by her mother, Carole was able to make enough money to send her children to private school.

The business was very successful and the family became multi-millionaires.

Neither young Kate, nor her brother or sister wanted for anything.  She did encounter bullying at not one, but two different schools, and in spite of her treatment she got outstanding grades.

She grew up and was the first girl in her family to attend college.  Kate attended the University of St. Andrews.  There she met her Prince Charming, Prince William of Wales.

After a long courtship, a break up, and reuniting all in the course of ten years, 2001 till 2011, and they were married April 29, 2011, in a spectacular fairy tale wedding.

From meager beginnings to Catherine, Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Cambridge, the title bestowed on her by Queen Elizabeth, Kate’s grandmother-in-law, Kate emerged at the top of the social ladder.

The Middleton family has been embraced by the Queen.  She invited the Middleton's to ride with the royal family in the Diamond Jubilee Flotilla on June 3rd, 2012.

Kate has had strong women role models.  From Grandma Dorothy with her vision of a better future and social standing for her family to her new Grandmother, Queen Elizabeth II, who has ruled England for 60 years and is celebrating her Diamond Jubilee this year.

Now that’s staying power!  She is still loved and respected by her subjects.

Of course, Kate’s mom, Carole, was the one who made the private schools happen.  And where would Kate be if not for her mom’s drive and determination?

Who are your role models?  Who has made a difference in your life?

Queen Victoria's Diamond Jubilee

When it came to celebrations, the Victorians knew how to do it with maximum pomp and some serious circumstance. In particular, any celebration related to the British monarchy was always attended with maximum fanfare. They still are, in fact. How many of us tuned in recently to watch the lavish and romantic wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton?

It’s good to be king. Or a prince, for that matter. And, as a monarch, what could be a better reason to celebrate than to mark the fact that you have held the British throne longer than any other king or queen? In June of 1897, Queen Victoria did just that. She and the rest of Britain celebrated her Diamond Jubilee to mark sixty years on the throne.

How did they celebrate? For starters, Queen Victoria rode in a lovely carriage pulled by cream-colored horses in a grand processional that went from Buckingham Palace, through London, and ended at St. Paul’s Cathedral. At seventy-eight years old, the queen found it difficult to walk and it was decided the service should be held outside so that she did not have to maneuver the cathedral’s steps. After the cathedral, a lavish luncheon was held at Buckingham Palace for royals and dignitaries.  

Over the two days of the Jubilee, various celebrations were held throughout the country and Queen Victoria made several official visits where she gave out medals, listened to school children sing, and was presented with a poem written for her by England's poet laureate of the time. Bonfires were lit around the country and it is difficult to imagine that anyone failed to join in the celebration.

Queen Victoria seemed to confirm this when she wrote in her diary of her processional and the air of celebration she witnessed.:

“No one ever, I believe, has met with such an ovation as was given to me, passing through those 6 miles of streets, including Constitution Hill. The crowds were quite indescribable and their enthusiasm truly marvellous and deeply touching. The cheering was quite deafening and every face seemed to be filled with joy.”

Wish you could share in the pomp and jubilation of a Diamond Jubilee but don't have a time machine handy? You’re in luck! There is another British monarch who has sat on the throne for sixty years. Hint: She is also a woman. 

This year Queen Elizabeth II celebrates her Diamond Jubiliee. Take even a quick peek at British newspapers right now and you’ll see that folks are pretty excited about the second Diamond Jubilee. Though the central weekend for celebrations will be June 2-5, there are also events and visits planned by Queen Elizabeth and other members of the royal family throughout the year. Remember, this is also a very special year for London because the Olympics will be kicking off there soon. 

Lots to celebrate in Britain!

You can find out more about QueenElizabeth’s Diamond Jubilee here. If you’re a lover of history, Victorian in particular, you can find out more about Queen Victoria’s Diamond Jubilee here.

You can even watch footage of Queen Victoria’s processional!

Which official celebration, inauguration, or the like, now or in the past, would you like to attend? Personally, I'd love to witness a royal wedding first hand.