By: Marcia King-Gamble
www.lovemarcia.com
This month of May is all about Mothers. Yesterday was
Mother’s Day; the official day for showing appreciation to the woman who carried
you, or the one who raised you. Maybe it was a person who was just there when
you needed them. This brings up the question - what is a mother?
Is it a woman who gave birth to a child (birth mother), or
is it the person who provided emotional care and support?
To me, a mother is so much more than the woman who carries
a child, goes into labor, and gives birth. There are men who stepped in and have
been both mother and father to a young person, They should be honored too, and not just on Father's Day .
Now, I’m going to say something that may or may not be
controversial. Not everyone is cut out to be a mother. This is evident by
turning on the television or tuning into the news. Almost every day a baby is
abandoned or given away. Some leave the baby at the hospital or on a church’s
doorstep. Others, less caring, dump the baby in the trash. Babies have been left
in subways or abandoned in bathrooms. Then there are those who for a variety of
reasons put their child up for adoption, either because they are simply not
ready or have way too many mouths to feed.
Each birth mother has her own reasons. Not everyone is able, or fit to take on that task. Mothering is a lifetime business, and some make
the difficult or necessary decision to opt out. The reasons are varied, ranging
from short on finances to single parent status. Some are just not feeling the
maternal nudge.
This brings me to another controversial issue, the fact that
Roe V Wade is being challenged fifty years after the initial ruling.
Are we back to forcing women not ready or equipped to be mothers into having
unwanted children? Not every pregnancy is the result of a loving union. Shouldn’t
a woman have the right to choose to be a mother, and shouldn’t she be ready for
that responsibility. Motherhood is a lifelong commitment.
So, what’s my definition of a mother? She/he is a person
who nurtures and cares for you. A person who is your biggest supporter, and who
at times may demonstrate tough love. She/he is not necessarily an enabler, but
someone there through thick or thin. She/he gives you a well needed kick in the
butt when necessary, and at other times builds you up.
My second mother, my aunt, was a free spirit, and more
nurturing than my biological mother. You could tell her anything. She believed
in me, and she found a way for me to go to that out-of-town college that back
then was super expensive. If I ever needed something she was there, no
questions asked.
Friends’ mothers often mothered me. We grew up on a small
island where everyone made it their business to know your business. If you
stepped out of line, your “Aunties” were right there admonishing you, and with
your biological mother’s permission, they could give you a backhanded slap.
Back then, no one called Child Protective services if you got a well-deserved
whack. In fact, there was no Child
Protective Services.
Even as an adult, an author friend, stepped into the role
of “Mom” for me. She had five adult kids of her own. I became the 6th.
I learned to be more diplomatic from this wonderful woman who taught me the art
of turning the other cheek. More importantly, she taught me that kindness really
mattered, and that people would remember how you made them feel. While she
recently passed away, I will always cherish the memories of her generous spirit,
and her reminder that when life hands you limes it's time to make lemonade. Thank you, author, Linda Anderson.
A book that we should all read, (not one of mine) also comes
to mind. It’s titled a Mother’s Promise by KD Alden. While it’s not the
easiest read, (in terms of a feel-good book), it does depict motherhood in a
variety of forms.
So, back to what does a “mother” mean to you? Is she the cookie-cutter,
June Cleaver ‘mom,’ or is she today’s woman with a full-time job? There really
isn’t a handbook for mothers to read. Mothering just
comes from the heart.
Have a Happy May! Big hugs and belated wishes to the
mothers out there!
About Marcia King-Gamble
Romance writer, Marcia King-Gamble originally
hails from a sunny Caribbean Island where the sky and ocean are the same
mesmerizing shade of blue. This former travel industry executive has spent most
of life in the United States. A National Bestselling author, Marcia has penned
over 34 books and 8 novellas. She has contributed to Michael Fiore’s DigitalRomanceInc
and served as a moderator on the now defunct eHarmony advice
boards. Having witnessed the bad, the ugly, and the not so good in
relationships, she still prefers to write about happily ever after. Caring for
her animal family keeps her grounded and sane.
Visit Marcia at www.lovemarcia.com or “friend”
her on Facebook: http://bit.ly/1MlnrIS
Be sure to join her newsletter mailing list.
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