Advice for Tough Times by Lynn Lovegreen

If you’ve lived for a significant amount of years, you’ve had tough times. I have too, including stressful jobs, the death of loved ones, and bouts of depression. While I can’t say I have the cure for every ill, I can share a few things I’ve learned along the way.

• Let yourself feel negative emotions. Many of us are taught to dwell on positive emotions and try to be happy or cheerful all the time. But that is counteractive to our health if we deny all our negative thoughts and feelings. If I’m sad, or angry, or frustrated, I let myself experience that emotion.  I find it will pass more easily if I let myself linger there for a little while. Then, if I get stuck there for too long, I reach out to my doctor or mental health professional. 

   

• Try to keep things in perspective. Depending on the situation, we can try to step back and see if this is something we’ll remember five or ten years from now. I’ve taken it further.  It sounds weird, but I’ve found comfort in realizing the world doesn’t revolve around me. One day, I looked up at the Chugach Mountains, and thought they were here for millions of years before me, and will be for millions more. My mistakes and problems are nothing to them. And that was oddly comforting to me.

• Know it will get better. Maybe not right away, but it will happen. In times of depression or grief, I know that I won’t hurt so much one day in the future. That gives me the strength to hang on. For one example, my mother died seven years ago this month. I still miss her, sometimes terribly. But it doesn’t hurt as much as it did. I found a way to keep going. And I know that will be true with every setback and tragedy. Life will change, but I can live through it. And I bet you can, too.

I recently had the opportunity to see Ladysmith Black Mambazo in concert. They sang “Tough times never last, strong people do,” and I discovered a new favorite song. Here is the link to find it on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fx5lhvXD8Mg.

Lynn Lovegreen has lived in Alaska for almost fifty years. She taught for twenty years before retiring to make more time for writing. She enjoys her friends and family, reading, and volunteering at her local library. Her young adult/new adult historical romances are set in Alaska, a great place for drama, romance, and independent characters. See her website at www.lynnlovegreen.com. You can also find her on Facebook, Goodreads, and Pinterest.

Reinventing Myself by Lynn Lovegreen

I have been reinventing myself over the past year, as I am at an in-between stage professionally and personally. My Gold Rush books are out of print, and I’m looking for an agent for my World War II series. Plus, I’m in the process of moving to a new house. And outside of that, I’ve discovered a new role for myself, as an activist in my community. It seems like the right time to stand up for what I believe in, especially if it gives a voice to people who don’t have a strong voice in our current system.

So, what have I learned from this?

1. Change is scary.

Many of the problems I’ve experienced in the last year have to do with reactions to change. Sometimes I’m the one who is having trouble adjusting, and sometimes it’s other people, but change is hard, and sometimes downright scary. Most of us are challenged by new circumstances. It’s good to acknowledge that and roll with it.

2. We are stronger than we think.

I’ve done a lot of things I didn’t know I could. Whether it’s physical or mental, I’ve found I can do more and deal with more than I realized. And I’ve been in groups where collectively we’ve helped each other grow in strength. That is powerful!

3. It’s easier to be fearless when it’s about something bigger than ourselves.

I can barge into a state senator’s office to start a conversation about a bill without worrying about what she’ll think of me—because it’s not about me. It’s about our kids and our state, and that’s more important than silly old me. It’s worth a few rejections, if it helps the cause. 

4. People will either applaud new roles and growth, or not. 

I’m blessed to have loved ones who encourage me, but I can’t expect everyone to do so. It goes back to #1—some people are threatened by change. They won’t like the new me, and I can’t do much about that except try not to get too caught up in others’ opinions.

5. Balance is important.

I’ve learned I can’t do anyone else any good if I don’t take care of myself first. I need to find a balance between saving the world and saving myself. 

I hope these things will help you in your own reinvention. Carry on and become the best person you can be! :-) 

Lynn Lovegreen grew up in Alaska, and still lives there. She taught for twenty years before retiring to make more time for writing. She enjoys her friends and family, reading, and volunteering at her local library. Her young adult/new adult historical romances are set in Alaska, a great place for drama, romance, and independent characters. See her website at www.lynnlovegreen.com. You can also find her on Facebook, Goodreads, and Pinterest.