A Funny Thing Happened One Night

...Or Outfoxing Mr Fox by Cassandra O'Leary

One of the things about having a houseful of pets, is they sometimes create mayhem. A case in point, our cute little chickens. Living in suburban Melbourne, Australia, we can only have a small chicken coop with a maximum of ten chickens. But sometimes even four or five are a handful. 

We first got a few young chickens when my oldest son was about 18 months old. The first lot were bantams (mini sized) chooks and included cuties named Princess Bubbles, Midnight and Ningah, named by our little boy. The chicken coop was down by our back fence and our vegetable garden. My husband, let's call him Mr M, is a keen gardener and generally good with outdoorsy stuff. He'd researched chickens, coop setup, fencing and all the particulars before we brought them home from a chicken farm in the country. 

Cut to one night, a few months after the chooks had been inhabiting their very swanky chicken townhouse (split level, a nice outlook on greenery, indoor plumbing/bird feeder and outdoor entertaining area/chicken run). Part of our back garden also backs onto our garage, where we have a sensor light setup to scare off any burglars and to help us see where we're going at night. So, if you walk by, the area floods with light. Mr M was asleep beside me when he somehow woke to full alert, panic stations… I was half asleep but wondering, what's going on? 

Then I heard the back door bang, followed by a great kerfuffle, maybe even a hullabaloo! Banging, thumping, shouting, something that sounded like a lot like GEROFFMYLAWNANDAWAYFROMTHECHICKEEEEEENZZZZ!!! 

Husband comes barging back into the bedroom a couple of minutes later, and I'm wide awake by this stage and flick on the light. Mr M is standing there, panting, ranting about the fox he caught dashing across our yard and how the floodlight scared him off...meanwhile he's completely naked (apart from his boots). 

So I reconstructed the sequence of events. Mr M ran out into the back garden, triggering the floodlight, so his naked self was highlighted in spotlight, when he may or may not have been brandishing a shovel. Mr Fox, our erstwhile neighbourhood scavenger, must have been terrified and fled the scene. Our chickens' feathers were ruffled, but otherwise okay. Luckily our next door neighbours weren't hanging over the fence filming...that we know of! 

You will probably all be relieved to know that we now have chicken wire dug down at least 30 centimetres (one foot) into the ground, making sure no foxes can dig their way in. 

Henceforth this story shall be referred to as the time my husband outfoxed Mr Fox. It will probably end up in a book one day! He just nods and sighs as I tell him this. He's so obviously a humour novel character, just like I'm a romcom heroine. Just ask me about the time I fell over a pile of shoes while trying to shoo a wasp away from my desk, then I fell on my backside AND banged my head against my bookshelf. It's a match made in romance novel heaven. 

P.S. We now have the third generation of chickens including Soy Sauce Chicken, Chilli Chicken, Fruit Tingles and Honeycomb. 

P.P.S I will not tell Mr M about the actual event that is World Naked Gardening Day. For Reasons. 

About Cassandra O'Leary 

Cassandra O'Leary is a romance, romcom and women's fiction author from Melbourne, Australia. Winner of the global We Heart New Talent contest, HarperCollins UK, and published author of Girl on a Plane, Heart Note: A Christmas romcom novella, and shorter fiction. She's a recovering corporate communications specialist, mum to two mini ninjas, and wife to a superhero. She may be writing, or else drinking coffee and buying shoes on the internet. She's currently working on two more novels. No, really.

Read more at cassandraolearyauthor.com 

A funny thing happened on the way to the campsite

I struggled to recall a funny family story because I don’t have the best memory and never have. For instance, I need to travel a specific route many times before I know it. I’m hard-pressed to remember a store location if I’ve only been there once. I won’t even mention my poor sense of direction. All I can say is, thank goodness for GPS. But there is one incident that I hope is amusing, in a comedy of errors sort of way.

Many years ago, on one of our family camping expeditions, Hubby, our two sons, and I loaded the canoes with supplies and provisions and set off on a five-day circuit along three lakes in Kejimkujik National Park here in Nova Scotia. We would camp at a different site every night, and paddle and/or portage for a few hours every day.

Now, because we would have limited contact with the outside world (cell towers were few and far between back then), we double and triple checked everything as we unloaded the car. The parking lot was a good fifteen-minute hike from the boat launch and we had to make several trips back and forth with the two canoes and all our stuff. Our two boys were twelve and ten years old at the time and could carry only so much.

Anyway, we finally got underway after a picnic lunch and enjoyed a leisurely paddle to our first campsite. The weather was fine and we took our time setting up camp, exploring a nearby trail, and hunting for snakes. Son1 was determined to catch a garter snake. (He did later in the trip and got a good snakebite for his trouble. And still proudly carries the scar.)

On our first night of one of these trips I always cook a regular meal using perishable food because subsequent meals will be freeze-dried or dehydrated “casseroles” which we’ll be thoroughly tired of by the end. Along about six o’clock I set up the kitchen with the compact one-burner stove, the small frying pan with folding handle, and the pound of ground beef for our burger feast. Imagine my frustration when I couldn’t get the stove to light. There was plenty of fuel, I’d lit the stove countless times before, and so I had no clue what I was doing wrong. I called hubby over and, after a few minutes of fiddling, he determined that an essential piece of the stove was missing, a little valve or something. Well…now imagine my frustration. The stove had been intact when he loaded the car so the piece must have fallen out when he gave the stove one last check in the parking lot.

The park regulations forbid using a campfire for cooking, leaving us with only one option. Hubby and Son1, being the strongest pair, set off on the three hour round trip in a race against nightfall. Son2 and I tried to amuse ourselves while waiting – which wasn’t easy. When the sun dipped below the horizon we settled on the little wooden dock because there was more lingering light at the water’s edge than under the canopy of trees. We counted frogs based on their noises, tried to identify birds as they flew home to roost, and marveled at the call of the loons in the perfect stillness.

I let out a sigh of relief when I heard the unmistakeable sound of a paddle hitting the side of a canoe. Son2 and I turned on our flashlights and became a human lighthouse to guide home the rescue team. They were hot and tired because they’d paddled at full steam and run to the parking lot. Sure enough, the missing stove part had been lying on the ground next to our car.

Dinner was late that night but those hamburgers were the most delicious we’d ever eaten.

~

Luanna Stewart has been creating adventures for her imaginary friends since childhood. She spends her days writing spicy romantic suspense, paranormal romance, and historical romance. When not torturing her heroes and heroines, she’s in her kitchen baking something delicious. She lives in Nova Scotia with her patient husband and two spoiled cats.

Website ~ Bookbub ~ Twitter ~ Instagram ~ Facebook ~ Goodreads ~ Amazon Author Page

Her newest book, If I Didn't Care, is available at your favourite online retailer.

Guess who’s moving in next door?

Nicole Bennett is used to bad luck—it’s kind of a family curse. She’s spent the past year stitching her life back together after losing her dream job. Well, it paid the rent. Now stuck working at her family’s grocery store while wrangling a demoralized dad and a spoiled-brat sister, the last thing she needs is for the man who wrecked her life to move in next door, even if it is for only three weeks. So what if he’s sexier than sin and makes her believe in fairy tale endings?

Ross Calvert’s life in the fast lane crashed when he lost his job and fiancée. All he’s got to show for years of hard work are a sleek sports car and a closet full of designer suits – minus the closet. Determined to salvage his relationship with his best friend, he trades in the corporate life for a brief stint as a caregiver. The decision was simple—until he discovers the tempting vixen he wronged lives next door. Maybe she’s what he needs to reboot his life.

What starts off as a no-strings fling soon veers into making promises that might be impossible to keep.