· I suppose I might be superstitious about walking under ladders. Especially those two-foot step ladders.
· And I have difficulty walking on cracks—which makes me kinda crazy since I work on a campus with brick sidewalks.
· If I see a penny, I don’t pick it up. First, if it’s so darn lucky, why did the other dude drop it? Worse, coins are a virtually germ factory, so if the choice is good luck or avoiding Ebola virus… No contest. Besides, I’d have to pick up two-hundred pennies just to buy a lottery ticket.
· I am NOT superstitious about black cats crossing my path. No matter than I’ve tripped over my ebony feline 287 times—sometimes after walking under the step ladder.
· I’m very suspicious of a rabbit’s foot, though. Supposedly, that little piece of dead fur/bone/ewwww is good luck. For the rabbit—not so much.
· I never open my umbrella indoors. Why would I? It doesn’t rain there.
· I don’t believe that breaking a mirror leads to seven years of bad luck. Of course I have one more year to go before I know for sure.
· Four-leaf clovers bring good luck. Puhleez! Anyone sitting in the dirt looking for one of those botanical charms is already behind the proverbial eight-ball. Not only are you wasting time, you are—I repeat—sitting in the dirt.
· Garlic wards off vampires. Vampires? Really? Who believes that crap?
Besides, vampires live in Olive Gardens; they must love garlic.
· Refusing to kiss someone under the mistletoe brings bad luck. Doesn’t that depend on who’s under the mistletoe? I mean, I can see how it would be bad luck to deny Bon Jovi a kiss, but what about O.J. Also, doesn’t mistletoe sound a lot like missing toe? As in the poor rabbit.
· I do not believe standing in a circle will keep the evil spirits away. After all, the earth is a circle and I’ve been standing her for years and congress is still around. I know because I sent them a check.
· I do believe it’s bad luck to sing at the table. If you want to get lucky, shouldn’t you dance on the table??
· I’m not superstitious about the number thirteen. Uh-oh. I have thirteen bullets. Gotta go find some salt to throw over my shoulder.
Maybe I need an entire bag of salt, because you know what I’m really superstitious about? Writing down my superstitions.
Oy vey.
