Do Unto Others…and Yourself!

By Linda Lovely

This month’s theme is how to get through tough times. We all have them, and we all cope differently.  Here are my three strategies for tackling stress, sadness, frustration and/or anger.

(1)  Do something nice for someone else. Aid a nonprofit. Volunteer.

I wish I could say I tend to do one of these things as my first reaction. I can’t. But when I do take this more altruistic route, I always feel better. Helping someone else solve a problem is rewarding and takes your mind off your own problems. What does doing something nice for someone mean? I could be as simple as taking cookies to a friend who’s been ill or asking a recent widow/widower out to a movie or dinner. Of course, you shouldn’t be doing this to talk about your own troubles! Volunteer work for any organization with a cause you believe in is also therapeutic.  

(2)  Do something nice for yourself.
This is especially effective if I’m stressed or overwhelmed by deadlines. Take time out to treat yourself to something you really enjoy. For me, a massage is about the best relaxation, anti-stress option I can think of.

(3)  Write it out.
Not a surprising answer for an author. If I’m upset (okay, most often if I’m angry), I’ll write in great detail (often with multiple exclamation points) about what has triggered my wrath. The document may be a Letter to the Editor or it could be addressed to the person or group proposing some idiocy. Ninety-nine times out of 100, this letter goes in the trash. However, it is very effective in helping me blow off steam. (It also gives me great fodder for how one of my heroine’s might react given similar provocations.) There’s also the possibility that I’ll save the angry tome for later editing into a rational argument against whatever (in my opinion) idiocy is being suggested.

For me, the worst thing I can do when I’m upset is NOTHING. If I keep emotions bottled up, they just multiply and eat away at my happiness.

Recently, I was looking for a prize for a reader giveaway and came across a wishing ball. I’d never heard of one before, but I thought the idea was brilliant. The beautiful glass ball came with a pad of slips. Every day, you were encouraged to write something on a slip-- either a wish or something you were grateful for--and drop it inside the ball. This may be an excellent mental health aid—reminding ourselves every day of our blessings. There are real reasons for us to be sad or angry. But we can’t forget the wonder and joy of just being alive.  

Where the Heart Is

Hi everyone! I am YA author B A Binns , writer of contemporary and realistic fiction for teens. My tagline tells you what I am about - Stories of Real Boys Growing Into Real Men - and the people who love them. 

This month the topic is charity and giving.

We dream about people who are totally altruistic, but the reality is that all too often, charity begins at home, and then stays there. Fortunately, we don't all have the same definition of home. For me, home really is where my heart is. When I give, it's because my heart is involved.

When I was a child I was the picture of real altruism. Or maybe I was just tired of having to eat everything on my plate because my mother always recited the plight of the starving children on the other side of the world. I began sending my allowance to CARE (http://www.care.org/) at an early age. My motive may have been suspect, but I felt good that even my small amounts were helping some unknown kid on the other side of the ocean get their own plate to clear.

During my childhood, my family spent a time being homeless. Today I donate both money and volunteer time to Journey From Pads to Hope, http://www.journeystheroadhome.org/landing/ an organization that provides services to the homeless and those at risk of becoming homeless in suburban Cook County. My church is part of a network providing shelter to homeless men and women one night a week during the fall and winter, and I have volunteered to help serve food and care for participants.

My daughter was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at fourteen. As a result, I discovered a kinship with other parents dealing in similar situations. For me, giving to organizations that help families dealing with this almost invisible crisis ranks up there with giving at home.

These days I find that my giving journey has moved in a giant circle. When I was in my twenties I gave to Alzheimer’s organizations. I worried about the possibility of facing that problem in my own future and wanted to give money for research. Now that I’m getting older, I find I’m at the other end of the giving spectrum. My primary charities involve giving to help families of children who have birth defects.

And, I am proud to say that my daughter has begun on her own charity course. She was involved in several church sponsored crop walks to fight hunger during her teen years. And this even though I was careful to never force her to clear her plate or call on the ghosts of starving children across the globe. She figured out the need for herself.


My giving involves more than just money. Being retired means I have time, and having time means I can volunteer. Right now I have volunteered to be a mentor to a young summer intern in the publishing industry. (I think I have her believing my input is valuable!!) Mostly it about giving her business advice, a subject my years as a manager have taught me well.

I also give time to children's literature. I don't just write, I give my time and knowledge to to teachers, libraries, and librarians across the country where I talk with professionals about ways to reach out to young reluctant readers and start them on the paths of reading, a path that will enhance their future.

 I am also giving time to and whatever expertise I possess to WeNeedDiverseBooks (http://weneeddiversebooks.tumblr.com/), a group working to increase the number, variety, and quality of books featuring diverse characters, locations and situations. One of my current roles involves helping with the group's first diversity festival. This festival is scheduled for July 2016 and will occur near DC. My role is to organize workshops, demonstrations and other activities for child and teen attendees. A year seems like a long time, but it's an entire conference so I need to finish this and get back into volunteer mode, picking speakers and performers for the big day.

You see, charity may begin at home, but HOME is as much the concepts I care about as it is my physical location. Yes, we must take care of ourselves and our families. But sometimes home includes people whose problems and suffering mirror our own. I don’t give to random charities, not even when they give me the spiel about the needy people. But I have suffered problems in my life, and I find my heart opening when the charity involves a pain I know something about.

One Treat Away: A Charitable Story

By Courtney Leigh

Sometimes, most times, a charity needs manpower more than funds. Without volunteers, all the money in the country would do diddly-squat. So time, time, time is more valuable than gold...

The front page of my local paper reported a dog breeding kennel (only about 15 miles from my family's dog boarding kennel that I manage) charged with several counts of abuse, neglect, unsafe conditions, etc. The kennel had been reported in the past, but it had remained untouched. There were lots of people that had been waiting years for the county to do something about this particular breeding puppy-mill set on the side of a major roadway. Drivers could literally see dogs--TONS of dogs being neglected--as they drove past. 

Three days after reading the story, I got a call at work from a dog rescue group in this area.

The director asked me if our business would help their charity deal with housing 50-60 Kuvasz over a 4-6 month period (not all at once! No more than 3 at a time:). For those of you unfamiliar with the breed, Kuvasz are big, white, fluffy, and were originally used for sheep-guarding.  Which is why they blend with sheep so well. They're thinkers and jokers (I personally think they have the BEST senses of humor), and can be great family pets.

In any case, my mother and I discussed, and decided we could afford to commit 2 of our 8 kennels in the facility over to assist the endeavor of relocating the Kuvasz to foster homes, to other rescue groups throughout the US, or adopting them out to new families.

Though we do charge $5/day per dog, we have donated more time than anything else into these unsocialized, never-bathed-in-their-lives, insecure beasts who really do like people, but whose distrust is ingrained, instinctive and natural.

I've learned hotdogs are a great tool in luring never-been-touched Kuvasz. I've also learned how fulfilling time can be when you spend it well. And while I tell those volunteers to keep going, keep doing good things, keep striving for that end goal, they thank me for my time, too. Just think about who you'd like to help, what you can do even if you don't have much money to spare.

Because most of these dogs are one treat away from being a great pet. And it's such a gratifying sensation once you step up and help...I don't think I'll be able to look at hotdogs the same way after all of this is over!