05-26-18 – Blog Queen - Sarah Raplee

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

No wedding, just a funeral

B. A. Binns here, back with the Genre-istas.

I'm getting up close and personal with this post. It's about a wedding that didn't happen, and at this point probably never will. (If you don't like depressing, this might be a good time to switch to another post)

My daughter is twenty-three. She's been living with her boyfriend almost three years.  It's been a pretty turbulent relationship, on-again/off-again. But, she says she loves him and they always patched things up.

In January she discovered she was pregnant.

He agreed to marry her.

Note, I said he agreed, not that he proposed.

The wedding day was set for February 14, Valentine's day. The most romantic day of the years, my daughter said with stars in her eyes. It would be a small civil ceremony. Intimate rather than elaborate. Something to remember and hold on to, something to bind them and prepare for the new child.

I bought myself a mother-of-the-bride dress. I bought them a wedding present. Then I received a phone call.

The wedding had been postponed. Indefinitely.

Her boyfriend changed his mind. Seems he remembered that his first wife had cheated on him, and he wasn't certain the baby was his. After the kid is born, he said. After he's sure it's his. Then he would talk about marriage again.

I got one tear-filled phone call while my daughter vented. Then she was back to her old ways. She understood his need to wait. I thought he handed her the biggest insult possible, but she bravely said she could wait.  It's only a coincidence that one of the bad guys in one of my books hands the same insult to his pregnant girlfriend. (Really, I wrote those scenes a few years ago, but boy could I supercharge them with emotion now)

My daughter had a host of prenatal worries over the past few months. She had had some illnesses in her childhood that left permanent changes in her body. The doctors wanted to keep a close watch on her.

If you really hate unhappy endings, this is the place to stop reading.

I received another call last Tuesday. She was in the hospital. In spite of all the extra care and checkups, she lost the baby at six months. Her voice broke when she talked about all the stress she's been under.

In a romance novel, this would be the moment for the real hero to sweap her into his arms and make her forget the scoundrel in her past. In Women's Fiction, this would be the moment for her to decide it was time for her to stand on her own two feet and tell her scoundrel boyfriend where to go and how fast toget there. In Literary Fiction, I would kick him to the curb, bring her home, and make everything all right while she admits Mom really did know best.

But this is reality.

So there won't be a wedding. Or a baptism. Just the funeral.

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Judith Ashley said...

B.A. Thank you for blessing us with your heart-felt story of real life. You, your daughter, and the ex are in my prayers. I think he needs them the most because he didn't see the gift in front of him.

Paty Jager said...

This is why I write romance...Real life sucks.

Sending healing thoughts to you and your daughter. The guy...I gave him a mental kick in the A$$.

Unknown said...

There just aren't words. So, so sorry, Barbara.

Margaret Tanner said...

Hi Barbara,
Waht a sad time you and your daughter are having. You are both in my thoughts and prayers. As for the boyfriend, he is a selfish pig and kicking him to the curb sounds good.



Sarah Raplee said...

Barbara, I'm so sorry for your daughter's loss, and for yours. I will say healing prayers for both of you.

As for the guy, he doesn't sound like much of a hero. She deserves better. I hope that either he grows into a better man, or she realizes she deserves a better man.

B. A. Binns said...

I just want to thank everyone for their words of encouragement. Right now my daughter and I are still dealing with our grief. And I'm trying to be hopeful about the future.

Tam Linsey said...

Big hugs, Barbara. Be strong for your daughter.

Christy Carlyle said...

My deepest sympathies and hopes for healing for you and your daughter. I know that loss and so my wishes for you are truly from the bottom of my heart. There is hope and healing ahead.