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Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Keys to Lasting Love

Madelle Morgan
Today is my first post as a Genre-ista blogger. Thank you so much, Judith and Sarah, for the opportunity to share my thoughts with you all every month!

I write contemporary romance and romantic suspense, with one novel and a free short story published by Ellora’s Cave and several more projects “in development”. I retired from my day job as a civil engineer and manager last June, and it is so wonderful to have ample time to write and read those wonderful books I’d purchased but have been too busy to read. My husband counted over 100 books piled on my bureau alone! Fortunately it’s a very cold, stay-indoors type of winter up here in Ontario, Canada.

The topic this month is favorite romances. Well, like many avid lovers of romance I cannot pick just one. So I decided to describe three key elements of a great romance.

1. Chemistry

Chemistry comes from powerful emotional and physical attraction. Years ago Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton had smoldering chemistry on screen and off. Their marital splits and reconciliations made headlines. Today Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattison (Bella and Edward) are the new Liz and Richard – they have a great love that endures despite indiscretions. Or will it? That brings us to the next key element, the lack of which often drives a stake in the heart of passionate love.

2. Tolerance of Quirks and Faults

Abuse and infidelity respectively throw cold water on a steamy relationship, extinguishing it for good. On the lighter side, if a couple can adjust to each other’s annoying habits, personality quirks and faults, they have a chance of making it as a couple.

Dr. Temperance Brennan, the female lead character in the TV series Bones, likely has Asperger Syndrome or something similar in the autism spectrum of disorders. It makes her emotionally disconnected. Seeley Booth (David Boreanaz, the hunk we crushed on in Buffy and Angel), loves and accepts this beautiful but coldly rational woman despite her difficulty in being passionate and empathetic. Her logical mind, on the other hand, grounds him. Bones in turn tolerates what seems to her to be Booth’s excessively emotional behavior.

3. Opposites Attract

It’s not enough that the partners have very different personalities. In lasting relationships each person has traits that fill a lack(s) or need(s) in the other. The two personalities fit together like one of those wood 3D puzzles. Together they are whole, complete. Apart they feel like a piece is missing.

In The Big Bang Theory, the Penny and Leonard characters exemplify this crucial aspect of a great romance. Pretty, loving, living-month-to-month Penny has emotional intelligence and street smarts. Love-starved Leonard has intellectual intelligence, a stable job, and is reliable and loyal. They fill each other’s most basic needs for love and security.

What do you think is essential for an enduring romantic relationship? In honor of my first Genre-ista post and Valentine’s Day I’m giving away a print copy of my romantic suspense Diamond Lust to one commentor who lives in the US or Canada.  The deadline for comments is midnight on Sunday, February 17th!

Postscript:

Who loves diamonds? Madelle’s debut romantic suspense Diamond Lust ebook is available for only $0.99. 

Coming soon, Madelle is working on another romantic suspense novel (the story of Sophia from the free short read The Next Big Thing) and a steamy novella. 

Find Madelle at www.madellemorgan.com and on Goodreads.  



12 comments:

Judith Ashley said...

Welcome, Madelle! We are thrilled you were able to join us as a Genre-ista and look forward to future posts.

For any relationship to be enduring, there must be (IMHO) something about the other person that they like. I think you can be attracted to someone you don't like but I don't think you can have a long term successful relationship with someone you don't like. And part of my definition of like includes respect because I don't know anyone I like that I don't also respect to a fairly high degree.

Diana Mcc. said...

Trust is an important part of any relationship. Welcome to the RTG blog! Great to have you as one of our members.

Sarah Raplee said...

It's great to have you aboard, Madelle! The excerpt I read from Diamond Lust was AWESOME!

I love the couples you chose to illustrate your points.

I would add a strong sense of commitment to making the relationship work. To paraphrase Judith in a recent post, "to persevere through the drudgery of daily life" is necessary for a lifelong felationship.

Linda Lovely said...

Welcome, Madelle. For a romance to last, I think the man and woman have to LIKE each other. They can disagree, but they need to respect one another and enjoy each other's company.

B. A. Binns said...

I have long agreed with #2 - Tolerance for quirks and faults. And I diagnosed Dr. Brennan a long time ago. It's just good the writers kept her true to her character and made the hunk the right person to deal with that.

We should all have such thoughtful writers managing our lives.

Madelle Morgan said...

Thanks for all the insightful comments!

If a TV writer was indeed scripting my life, then I think it would be a classified as a Soap. :) How about you? Drama? Sitcom?

Anonymous said...

In addition to all of the above, I think having a sense of humor helps to.

Patricai
panthers.ravens@yahoo dot com

Brenda Hammond said...

After my husband and I visited our daughter and son-in-law in New Zealand last year, she told us she'd surreptitiously been observing us, wanting to know how to keep happily married, long term. What she noticed was that we were kind to one another.

I thought that was interesting, as it wasn't something we consciously tried for. But I can certainly recommend and endorse that!

Brenda Gayle said...

Hi Madeline. Great post. I think honesty is key in a relationship. If you're in a long term relationship it's unlikely that things will go smoothly all the time. There are times when I say to my husband (or he says to me) I don't like you very much right now. But we never question our love for one another.

Maggie Jagger said...

|If my life was a tv show? Hmm, sit-com is my choice, I'd like to laugh when things go wrong. Like the I Love Lucy skit when her fake nose caught on fire and she put it out in a cup of coffee. Now that could have been a drama, but quick thinking made it a comedy.

I enjoyed your book, Madelle!

Christy C said...

Welcome, Madelle. Sorry to be chiming in a bit late.

I actually think humor is one of the keys to a lasting relationship. If you can't laugh together, then you probably don't "get" each other, and it will be particularly to get past the hard parts with the resilience of humor.

Thanks for a thoughtful first post!

Madelle Morgan said...

Humor, honesty, liking each other,trust, commitment, respect & enjoy each other's company, tolerance, and kindness to each other - I agree ALL are very important to a lasting relationship.

I put your names into a bag and had someone else draw a name. Diana McCollum wins a copy of Diamond Lust! Diana, please contact me at madelle dot morgan at gmail.com re mailing address.

Thanks everyone!