I had a dream of being loved. It came true but it wasn’t easy

“Romance has the power to heal hearts. It did mine.”

“ I'm inspired to write about couples who bravely challenge beliefs that prevent them from having a loving relationship. They share a journey that conquers self-doubt but brings awareness of past mistakes. Each never gives up and works hard to overcome seemingly insurmountable odds  to find happiness in love.”

 This is the opening paragraph to my website. Personal experience inspires my writing. I had a dream that I would one day be in a loving relationship where I felt respected and cherished. It wasn’t an easy journey, but I did find it While I held the belief that it was possible, I wasn’t certain it would happen. I wanted to make sure I gave it every chance though, so I didn’t give up. That belief came from reading romance.

The characters in a romance novel find themselves in circumstances that change them. I understood that if I didn’t change I wouldn’t be able to have a different kind of relationship from the ones in the past. So I read and had counseling. I examined my role in past relationships, what worked what didn’t. I also worked on self-beliefs and my deservedness to have love.

I examined what I carried in my heart that prevented me from having what I wanted. I began to address old fear and insecurity and started to date. I kept going even after rejection and disappointment. Eventually, I found a courageous man who had wanted to work with me to make a relationship that would nurture us both.

I don’t think I would have done that if I hadn’t been an avid reader of romance. The couples in romance novels are often not realistic in that they are rich or fabulously talented. That’s a lovely fantasy, what isn’t is the real-life misconceptions they have about love and what gifts it has for them. When they work together to try and be a couple, they come up against these barriers and have to struggle to get past them.

Romance novel couples don’t give up. They might get knocked down, but they get up again. This rang true to me. Not giving up, having another go and doing better next time pays off. I think being a romance reader helped me to get up after disappointment and try again. Keep going when things didn’t work out the first or even the fifth time.

Every time I close another romance novel and have that happily ever afterglow, it feels like another dream has come true. Every time I finish another story that I’ve written with a happy ending I get that feeling also. I think the struggle involved in making the dream come true makes it all the more special. The smiles on our faces tell you, we went through a lot to find each other and now we have, we appreciate what we have all the more.

Dora Bramden is a Romance Author, and Lifestyle Blogger

You can read more about books and find her blog her website www.dorabramden.com

Follow Dora on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Pinterest.

Keys to Lasting Love

Madelle Morgan

Today is my first post as a Genre-ista blogger. Thank you so much, Judith and Sarah, for the opportunity to share my thoughts with you all every month!

I write contemporary romance and romantic suspense, with one novel and a free short story published by Ellora’s Cave and several more projects “in development”. I retired from my day job as a civil engineer and manager last June, and it is so wonderful to have ample time to write and read those wonderful books I’d purchased but have been too busy to read. My husband counted over 100 books piled on my bureau alone! Fortunately it’s a very cold, stay-indoors type of winter up here in Ontario, Canada.

The topic this month is favorite romances. Well, like many avid lovers of romance I cannot pick just one. So I decided to describe three key elements of a great romance.

1. Chemistry

Chemistry comes from powerful emotional and physical attraction. Years ago Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton had smoldering chemistry on screen and off. Their marital splits and reconciliations made headlines. Today Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattison (Bella and Edward) are the new Liz and Richard – they have a great love that endures despite indiscretions. Or will it? That brings us to the next key element, the lack of which often drives a stake in the heart of passionate love.

2. Tolerance of Quirks and Faults

Abuse and infidelity respectively throw cold water on a steamy relationship, extinguishing it for good. On the lighter side, if a couple can adjust to each other’s annoying habits, personality quirks and faults, they have a chance of making it as a couple.

Dr. Temperance Brennan, the female lead character in the TV series Bones, likely has Asperger Syndrome or something similar in the autism spectrum of disorders. It makes her emotionally disconnected. Seeley Booth (David Boreanaz, the hunk we crushed on in Buffy and Angel), loves and accepts this beautiful but coldly rational woman despite her difficulty in being passionate and empathetic. Her logical mind, on the other hand, grounds him. Bones in turn tolerates what seems to her to be Booth’s excessively emotional behavior.

3. Opposites Attract

It’s not enough that the partners have very different personalities. In lasting relationships each person has traits that fill a lack(s) or need(s) in the other. The two personalities fit together like one of those wood 3D puzzles. Together they are whole, complete. Apart they feel like a piece is missing.

In The Big Bang Theory, the Penny and Leonard characters exemplify this crucial aspect of a great romance. Pretty, loving, living-month-to-month Penny has emotional intelligence and street smarts. Love-starved Leonard has intellectual intelligence, a stable job, and is reliable and loyal. They fill each other’s most basic needs for love and security.

What do you think is essential for an enduring romantic relationship? In honor of my first Genre-ista post and Valentine’s Day I’m giving away a print copy of my romantic suspense Diamond Lust to one commentor who lives in the US or Canada.  The deadline for comments is midnight on Sunday, February 17^th!

Postscript:

Who loves diamonds? Madelle’s debut romantic suspense Diamond Lust ebook is available for only $0.99. 

Coming soon, Madelle is working on another romantic suspense novel (the story of Sophia from the free short read The Next Big Thing) and a steamy novella. 

Find Madelle at www.madellemorgan.com and on Goodreads.