I had a dream of being loved. It came true but it wasn’t easy

“Romance has the power to heal hearts. It did mine.”

“ I'm inspired to write about couples who bravely challenge beliefs that prevent them from having a loving relationship. They share a journey that conquers self-doubt but brings awareness of past mistakes. Each never gives up and works hard to overcome seemingly insurmountable odds  to find happiness in love.”

 This is the opening paragraph to my website. Personal experience inspires my writing. I had a dream that I would one day be in a loving relationship where I felt respected and cherished. It wasn’t an easy journey, but I did find it While I held the belief that it was possible, I wasn’t certain it would happen. I wanted to make sure I gave it every chance though, so I didn’t give up. That belief came from reading romance.

The characters in a romance novel find themselves in circumstances that change them. I understood that if I didn’t change I wouldn’t be able to have a different kind of relationship from the ones in the past. So I read and had counseling. I examined my role in past relationships, what worked what didn’t. I also worked on self-beliefs and my deservedness to have love.

I examined what I carried in my heart that prevented me from having what I wanted. I began to address old fear and insecurity and started to date. I kept going even after rejection and disappointment. Eventually, I found a courageous man who had wanted to work with me to make a relationship that would nurture us both.

I don’t think I would have done that if I hadn’t been an avid reader of romance. The couples in romance novels are often not realistic in that they are rich or fabulously talented. That’s a lovely fantasy, what isn’t is the real-life misconceptions they have about love and what gifts it has for them. When they work together to try and be a couple, they come up against these barriers and have to struggle to get past them.

Romance novel couples don’t give up. They might get knocked down, but they get up again. This rang true to me. Not giving up, having another go and doing better next time pays off. I think being a romance reader helped me to get up after disappointment and try again. Keep going when things didn’t work out the first or even the fifth time.

Every time I close another romance novel and have that happily ever afterglow, it feels like another dream has come true. Every time I finish another story that I’ve written with a happy ending I get that feeling also. I think the struggle involved in making the dream come true makes it all the more special. The smiles on our faces tell you, we went through a lot to find each other and now we have, we appreciate what we have all the more.

Dora Bramden is a Romance Author, and Lifestyle Blogger

You can read more about books and find her blog her website www.dorabramden.com

Follow Dora on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Pinterest.

On Writing Contemporary Romance

Judith Ashley is the author of The Sacred Women's Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual traditions that nurture the soul.

I’ve lived a fairly long and varied life. I’ve had several different careers. The common thread in everything I’ve done is ‘education’ or ‘teaching’. From starting as a classroom teacher in my early twenties to now as an author, my goal is to share something I know about that may assist another person to create a happier life for themselves.

What a great first novel! Just finished reading Lily by Judith Ashley, and loved it. While romance is not a genre I usually read, I found the characters so interesting and well-developed that I was captured by the story, looking forward to what would happen next. As part of a sacred women’s circle myself, it was nice to recognize the supportive bond among the group of women, and to realize how that loving, spiritual bond helped Lily to grow through the difficult challenges of old fears. Now I am looking forward to reading Elizabeth, the next book in the series. G.G.

My time as a child protective service worker was a challenge but through it all, my focus was to support parents in being the best parent they could be. And, when that best wasn’t what the child needed, to find a home that did meet the child’s needs.

As an adoption worker, my goal was to educate the prospective adoptive parents about what to expect when adopting an infant or an older child. Challenges awaited them regardless of their direction. Their decision was to include which challenges would be easiest for them to handle.

Working in law enforcement (there were no corrections officers where I worked, we were all deputy sheriffs), I wanted the women in the jail where I was stationed to learn something that would be a positive in their lives when they got out. I set up and ran a program that allowed the women to make crafts and sell them at the local county courthouse after Thanksgiving. They always sold out!

I am one who finds it difficult to quiet my mind and body long enough to read a chapter or two in a book at one time. Judith Ashley’s Lily caught my attention in the first chapter and held it tight until the last page. I found myself wondering what character I would be in the book and responding as if I was a friend of the characters! Romance, personal growth, and a supportive spiritual circle…how can one not become wrapped into this book? KJ

For two years I worked in Public Welfare. My clients were anyone age 18 and older who was other-abled or over 65 or in a nursing or rehabilitation facility. With limited resources, learning how to use everything available in the best way possible to create the best lifestyle possible was important.

I was educating my clients and I was being educated at the same time. That education helped me establish myself as a case manager and guardian as well as an After Hours Emergency Responder for vulnerable adults.

Being an educator is part of who I am. It may not be in the job description, but I find a way to bring the knowledge I have to support others in creating a better life for themselves.

The characters and essence of Ireland leaped from the pages of this book right into my heart and mind. I could see and hear the characters and picture the surroundings. The author accurately represented the practice and spirituality of those who identify with the Goddess and know She also resides in each of us. Ms. Ashley also emphasizes that the bond of close women friends should not be forsaken because of a bond with a lover. She shows us that there is always a way to compromise to preserve both bonds. As a romantic novel this was delightful. M.M.

And that’s what I do with my stories. Ordinary women who’ve had normal life challenges (domestic violence, infidelity, post-traumatic stress disorder, physical injury, rape, homelessness, etc.) find a way through the dark times into the light of unconditional love.

Is their path easy? No. Their life experiences have taught them to be leery about trusting anyone. But because of the bond created by being part of a Sacred Women’s Circle, they are able to take the leap into the void and find their happily-ever-after.

One of my goals in writing these stories is to pass on to others, ideas about how they might handle difficult situations.

Have you ever gotten an idea that helped you solve a problem by reading a romance novel? Would love to hear your story!

You can learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series on my website.

Check out my Windtree Press author page.

Follow me on Twitter: @JudithAshley19

I’m also on Facebook

© 2016 Judith Ashley