04-20-19 – In Praise of a “Bad Pick” by Linda Lovely and Robin Weaver

Thursday, August 2, 2018

I had a dream of being loved. It came true but it wasn’t easy

“Romance has the power to heal hearts. It did mine.”
“ I'm inspired to write about couples who bravely challenge beliefs that prevent them from having a loving relationship. They share a journey that conquers self-doubt but brings awareness of past mistakes. Each never gives up and works hard to overcome seemingly insurmountable odds  to find happiness in love.”

 This is the opening paragraph to my website. Personal experience inspires my writing. I had a dream that I would one day be in a loving relationship where I felt respected and cherished. It wasn’t an easy journey, but I did find it While I held the belief that it was possible, I wasn’t certain it would happen. I wanted to make sure I gave it every chance though, so I didn’t give up. That belief came from reading romance.

The characters in a romance novel find themselves in circumstances that change them. I understood that if I didn’t change I wouldn’t be able to have a different kind of relationship from the ones in the past. So I read and had counseling. I examined my role in past relationships, what worked what didn’t. I also worked on self-beliefs and my deservedness to have love.

I examined what I carried in my heart that prevented me from having what I wanted. I began to address old fear and insecurity and started to date. I kept going even after rejection and disappointment. Eventually, I found a courageous man who had wanted to work with me to make a relationship that would nurture us both.

I don’t think I would have done that if I hadn’t been an avid reader of romance. The couples in romance novels are often not realistic in that they are rich or fabulously talented. That’s a lovely fantasy, what isn’t is the real-life misconceptions they have about love and what gifts it has for them. When they work together to try and be a couple, they come up against these barriers and have to struggle to get past them.

Romance novel couples don’t give up. They might get knocked down, but they get up again. This rang true to me. Not giving up, having another go and doing better next time pays off. I think being a romance reader helped me to get up after disappointment and try again. Keep going when things didn’t work out the first or even the fifth time.

Every time I close another romance novel and have that happily ever afterglow, it feels like another dream has come true. Every time I finish another story that I’ve written with a happy ending I get that feeling also. I think the struggle involved in making the dream come true makes it all the more special. The smiles on our faces tell you, we went through a lot to find each other and now we have, we appreciate what we have all the more.

Dora Bramden is a Romance Author, and Lifestyle Blogger
You can read more about books and find her blog her website www.dorabramden.com
Follow Dora on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Pinterest.


Diana McCollum said...

Great blog post. So wonderful you had the courage to go to counseling and were rewarded with a great life partner.

Dora Bramden said...

Thank you Diana. It gave me self acceptance first, then I believed that someone could love me.

Sarah Raplee said...

I really enjoyed your post, Dora! It takes great courage to become self-aware, face one's fears and work to change. Too many people sell themselves short by saying, "This is just the way I am."

I believe life is about learning and growing, which you have done in spades. You've earned your Happily Ever After!

Dora Bramden said...

I agree with you Sarah. I see life the same way. Still learning every day.

Maggie Lynch said...

Learning to love oneself is one of the hardest lessons. Evidently you did the work to get there and that opened you to someone special in your life.

I believe many people read romance novels as a way to learn about relationships and how they can work. I love the kind of novels where the couple has to work really hard, to learn something about themselves, and then to change enough to let someone else in their life. Even then the work isn't done. It is a daily practice to love someone, but it is so worth it.

Looking forward to learning more about your books.

Dora Bramden said...

Hi Maggie. Thank you for your supportive comments. I agree that once you arein a relationship there is still work to be done. Those stories about characters who grow in self awareness and acceptance are my favorite romances too.