My Life and Numbers

Hi, I’m Judith Ashley, author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, soul nourishing romantic women’s fiction with light paranormal elements. My stories show you what life could be like if you had a place like The Circle where you are unconditionally accepted, supported and loved. And where, with this support, you make choices to overcome the darkest nights and choose love and light.

I’m writing this post on my son’s 60^th birthday. At the time, it was not my favorite day. Sixty years ago I’d been in labor about 30 hours and I still had 3+ more to go. When you read this, my son will be 60 years and 2 days old. We will have celebrated with his favorite meal from the nearby Chinese restaurant and he’ll have spent time with his daughters and grandchildren on Zoom. Oh, and he’ll have a store of his favorite snack - shelled pistachios!

My comments on Ann Chaney’s Wednesday post are about numbers that consistently show up in my life: 2, 4, 8 and I’ll add to that 19 (both my dad and I were born on that day).

Actually I’ve lived long enough and have had a varied enough career that I can think of something special that is attached to just about any number.

Here are a few:

Children - 1

Grands and Great Grans - 2 of each

Siblings – 2 although only 1 is still alive

Best Birthday Ever! – my 80^th – my 3 circle sisters treated me to a long weekend at the Oregon Coast

Number of years I’ve lived in my house – 47

Number of moves before I bought my house – too many to keep track

Number of years I’ve been officially involved in the work of Dr. William Glasser – 45

Number of home studies I’ve written for adoption families - 300+ home over almost 30 years

I’m also a published author.

Published:

8 fictions novels (The Sacred Women’s Circle series and Visions of Happiness)

1 non-fiction (Staying Sane in a Crazy World)

Website:

This, my 3^rd one, is my favorite.

What I realize in writing this is that there are many areas of my life where I’ve not kept track of how often or how many. I know I’ve made virtual friends around the world through writing and Romancing The Genres.

I’ve written numerous blog posts. My rough guess is I’m well over 200. Not sure I've reached 300 yet.

I also know that most of the above would not have been possible without my very best friend, Michele. 

None of the Glasser work would have been possible without my friend, Marty. 

None of my writing adventures would have been possible without the support of Maggie Lynch, Paty Jager and the other authors at Windtree Press.

And as for being here celebrating Romancing The Genres’ 12^th Blog-O-Versary? Well, without Co-BQ (Blog Queen) Sarah McDermed, there wouldn’t even be an RTG.

Do share our celebration by signing up for our Mega-Giveaway drawing. The link is at the top of the page. You’ll be added to the mailing lists of the Genre-istas who have contributed to the Giveaway. Do give them a chance before you unsubscribe.

You can find all of my books at your favorite e-book vendor. Be sure to ask your local library if you’d prefer to read my books through that resource.

Learn more about Judith's The Sacred Women’s Circle series at JudithAshleyRomance.com

Check out Judith’s Windtree Press author page.

You can also find Judith on FB! 

© 2023 Judith Ashley

It's That Time of Year Again

Hi, I’m Judith Ashley, author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, soul nourishing romantic women’s fiction with light paranormal elements. My stories show you what life could be like if you had a place like The Circle where you are unconditionally accepted, supported and loved. And where, with this support, you make choices to overcome the darkest nights and choose love and light.

When I worked in child welfare and later in domestic and international adoptions I became aware of the importance of time of the year. I was amazed at how many of the children with whom I worked had traumatic events happen at the same time year after year after year. The infant in Vietnam who was taken to the orphanage in the spring and then adopted by a family in the United States or Europe and moved there one or two years later---in the spring. And what would be confusing is that it is spring in Vietnam and fall in the US or Europe. Upheaval, the loss of security and love has now occurred twice in this child’s life. Following along, I could see behavioral issues every spring and fall. Add to that the adoptive parents did not speak Vietnamese and the child, while have receptive Vietnamese language did not have receptive English.

Seasonal Trauma Can Happen To Anyone

For some children I worked with, every placement happened around one of the holidays. Those parents who paid attention to that background and talked to the child, made adjustments to holiday gathering, etc. always had a better outcome than those who continued to expect the child to make all the adjustments.

To be clear, it doesn’t have to focus on traumatic events. Many of us have fond memories of recurring events in our lives and we go through a grieving process when they stop. I remember our family Christmas celebrations. My mom started the baking in September/October. The hunt for the perfect Christmas tree was An Event. I only missed one Christmas and that was because I was too sick to get off the couch (it was closer to the bathroom than my bed).

Do You Have A Death Month? I Do

I’ve written about my Dad’s last Christmas (December 1997) and the lengths we all went to make it perfect for him.

Christmas 2001 was the last family Christmas. My mom died March 4^th 2002.

Wonder why I'm even talking about last Christmases in March? It is March 2023.

If you read this post on the first day it goes live, March 3, 2023, you’ll know that I will be remembering family members who died or passed or crossed over or transitioned (we have lots of words/phrases to mark this final life event).

Jean Elizabeth Rawson Johnson – March 25, 1918 - March 4, 2001 – mom

Margaret (Marne) Rawson Gannon – December, 1919 - March 5, 2012 - aunt

Donald Christian Johnson – September 19, 1917 - March 8, 1998 - dad

James Foster Johnson – October 25, 1944 - March 26, 2004 - brother

Helen Foster Rawson Kirshman – July 31, 1910 - April 1, 2015 – aunt

Some years I struggle through my Death Month and other years I seem to almost forget. I used to wonder what made the difference. Now I just accept that there will be times when I remember and grieve and other times when I remember and smile as the joy from the memories surrounds me.

Time has passed and I have my own traditions that fill my heart. I celebrate the beauty of Mother Earth most days. I focus on gratitude for what I have most days. I am doing better at being mindful. And I’ve become less upset with my “recovering independent high achiever” description. It doesn’t mean I’m a failure only that it takes me longer to achieve and I may not reach the higher marks…but then I said in my January post that I would work on being kinder to myself. That has translated into setting goals that take into consideration where I am at this point in my life.

Choose I tell myself. Make it a conscious choice regardless of what it's about.

Choose to work a crossword puzzle instead of doing a computer task.

Choose to have a piece of chocolate instead of wishing I had a piece.

Choose to take on a task and be realistic about how much I can do, how long it might take, etc.

At the end of the day, even in the darkest night, it is up to me to choose love and light.

You can find all of my books at your favorite e-book vendor. Be sure to ask your local library if you’d prefer to read my books through that resource.

Learn more about Judith's The Sacred Women’s Circle series at JudithAshleyRomance.com

Check out Judith’s Windtree Press author page.

You can also find Judith on FB! 

© 2023 Judith Ashley

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To ...

Hi, I’m Judith Ashley, author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic women’s fiction that honors pagan spiritual practices that nourish the soul. My stories show you what life could be like if you had a place like The Circle where you are unconditionally accepted, supported and loved. And where you do overcome obstacles and find your happily-ever-after.

A funny thing happened on the way to writing this blog post among other things. You may be able to relate to a habit of mine to discount small tasks as being easier to put aside to “do later.” And if you are like me, there comes a time when the list of small tasks, those that take 5 – 10 maybe 15 minutes, is a mile long.

Coming Soon

Having reached that point the end of December and having been derailed in writing the 9^th book in The Sacred Women’s Circle series Visions of Ireland as well as finishing my 2^nd non-fiction Yes! You Can Create A Life You Love because of a major hack of my web mail and website, I stopped writing and began to focus on that mile long task list as well as the “not at all funny” bigger task of dealing with internet security.

But back to the funny stuff at least to me when I stopped stressing out over it…my new bio for my new website.

Having a new website created, rebranding myself? No, still not funny. And actually the writing of the new bio wasn’t so much fun either. However along the way I wrote out the following:

Over 40 years with The William Glasser Institute: 27 years as Senior Teaching Faculty

39+ years in Domestic and International Adoption

Over 34 years in a women’s circle

Now Available

30+ years working with elderly and vulnerable adults including being one of the 1^st 90 people accredited by the National Guardianship Association as a Professional Guardian; 19+ years working in emergency response program for vulnerable adults

Almost 20 years working for child welfare

2+ years working in Public Welfare

1 year working with unwed mothers

2 years as a public school teacher (middle school and high school)

9 months working at county jail’s women’s section

Add it all up and you come to about 152 years! Now I find that funny.

Amazing isn’t it that over the course of my working lifetime, I’ve put in 152 years! Obviously these jobs were not consecutive…I may have a few years on me but not 152!

One of the assessments I did in terms of my life that was the most freeing was when I looked for the thread in all of the above.

I found it! 

And it made a big difference in how I saw/see myself. That 152 years of experiences means the stories I tell are filled with what I’ve seen, heard and felt.

Sometimes our journey gives us the wisdom to continue along life’s path with a smile on our face, a skip in our step and a great deal of gratitude. Most days that's true for me!

Learn more about Judith's The Sacred Women’s Circle series at JudithAshleyRomance.com

Follow Judith on Twitter: JudithAshley19

Check out Judith’s Windtree Press author page.

You can also find Judith on FB! 

© 2019 Judith Ashley

On Writing Contemporary Romance

Judith Ashley is the author of The Sacred Women's Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual traditions that nurture the soul.

I’ve lived a fairly long and varied life. I’ve had several different careers. The common thread in everything I’ve done is ‘education’ or ‘teaching’. From starting as a classroom teacher in my early twenties to now as an author, my goal is to share something I know about that may assist another person to create a happier life for themselves.

What a great first novel! Just finished reading Lily by Judith Ashley, and loved it. While romance is not a genre I usually read, I found the characters so interesting and well-developed that I was captured by the story, looking forward to what would happen next. As part of a sacred women’s circle myself, it was nice to recognize the supportive bond among the group of women, and to realize how that loving, spiritual bond helped Lily to grow through the difficult challenges of old fears. Now I am looking forward to reading Elizabeth, the next book in the series. G.G.

My time as a child protective service worker was a challenge but through it all, my focus was to support parents in being the best parent they could be. And, when that best wasn’t what the child needed, to find a home that did meet the child’s needs.

As an adoption worker, my goal was to educate the prospective adoptive parents about what to expect when adopting an infant or an older child. Challenges awaited them regardless of their direction. Their decision was to include which challenges would be easiest for them to handle.

Working in law enforcement (there were no corrections officers where I worked, we were all deputy sheriffs), I wanted the women in the jail where I was stationed to learn something that would be a positive in their lives when they got out. I set up and ran a program that allowed the women to make crafts and sell them at the local county courthouse after Thanksgiving. They always sold out!

I am one who finds it difficult to quiet my mind and body long enough to read a chapter or two in a book at one time. Judith Ashley’s Lily caught my attention in the first chapter and held it tight until the last page. I found myself wondering what character I would be in the book and responding as if I was a friend of the characters! Romance, personal growth, and a supportive spiritual circle…how can one not become wrapped into this book? KJ

For two years I worked in Public Welfare. My clients were anyone age 18 and older who was other-abled or over 65 or in a nursing or rehabilitation facility. With limited resources, learning how to use everything available in the best way possible to create the best lifestyle possible was important.

I was educating my clients and I was being educated at the same time. That education helped me establish myself as a case manager and guardian as well as an After Hours Emergency Responder for vulnerable adults.

Being an educator is part of who I am. It may not be in the job description, but I find a way to bring the knowledge I have to support others in creating a better life for themselves.

The characters and essence of Ireland leaped from the pages of this book right into my heart and mind. I could see and hear the characters and picture the surroundings. The author accurately represented the practice and spirituality of those who identify with the Goddess and know She also resides in each of us. Ms. Ashley also emphasizes that the bond of close women friends should not be forsaken because of a bond with a lover. She shows us that there is always a way to compromise to preserve both bonds. As a romantic novel this was delightful. M.M.

And that’s what I do with my stories. Ordinary women who’ve had normal life challenges (domestic violence, infidelity, post-traumatic stress disorder, physical injury, rape, homelessness, etc.) find a way through the dark times into the light of unconditional love.

Is their path easy? No. Their life experiences have taught them to be leery about trusting anyone. But because of the bond created by being part of a Sacred Women’s Circle, they are able to take the leap into the void and find their happily-ever-after.

One of my goals in writing these stories is to pass on to others, ideas about how they might handle difficult situations.

Have you ever gotten an idea that helped you solve a problem by reading a romance novel? Would love to hear your story!

You can learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series on my website.

Check out my Windtree Press author page.

Follow me on Twitter: @JudithAshley19

I’m also on Facebook

© 2016 Judith Ashley

Life Is Full of Life Changing Events -- Michelle Monkou

I used to think that my life was pretty ho-hum. Nothing bizarre. No drama. Pretty much living along the center line of the road. So to think of a life-changing event, I had to perform a memory rewind for important junctions that pushed or heralded me into one direction or another.

Although there aren't monumental events, they are mostly private experiences that I cherish, buried, or will dust off for another time. So the one thing that I have shared and am willing to continue speaking about is my discovery of my adoption and subsequent meeting with my birth mother. 

About ten years ago I had confirmation that I was adopted. It was a feeling that I always had, but didn't investigate too much just in case it was true. But through digital magic, I was able to find out quite easily and received the information I'd requested. 

People ask me if the "feeling" that I was adopted was due to the treatment I'd received from my adopted parents. And no, I was not Harry Potter living under the stairs. I didn't grow up in an orphanage. I was taken home soon after my birth mother delivered me. Her father was good friends with my parents. For better or worse, her father thought it the best solution. My mother kept in touch with my birth mother with updates on my accomplishments. 

Once I'd learned the details, then I wanted to attempt the next step to meet her. That also went smoothly. There was no Hallmark movie drama with family members or my birth mother. Her family knew of my existence and warmly welcomed me. 

So we met in London and chatted at length with the promise that I'd keep in touch. Over the past ten years, our families have connected several times with lengthy visits either in the U.S. or England. Partly due to my connection with my birth family, my daughter plans to go to post-graduate school in England and possibly settle there for the long haul.

I'd say that life hasn't changed much, but that would be untrue since I'm richer and better for additional members to the family unit. 

Life is full of life changing events. And I love my life for all its blessings.

Michelle Monkou

http://michellemonkou.com

One to Win (3rd book in the Meadows Family series) is available at all retail and digital outlets.

One Click at Amazon