Let us consider a rare breed: the blond romance hero.
Very few male leads are blond if book covers are to be believed. Tall, bleached, and handsome has never been a thing. Instead, the brooding brunette has been spoon-fed to the romance reading public for decades.
For some reason, blonds are seen as weaker than their ebony-coifed counterparts. Yet in reality, the warrior with the wheaten locks is traditionally more fierce than his opponent.
Do you need proof?
Let's go back to post-Biblical times when the Teutons ran the Roman army ragged. Big blond men from northern Europe were legendary, their fierceness in battle the stuff of folklore.
Next came the Vikings of Scandinavia. Sailors, explorers, traders - and invaders - these intrepid, flaxen-topped Northmen bravely went where no men had ventured before, successfully sailing west into the sunset several centuries before Christopher Columbus, an brunette, dared to try the same.
During the Renaissance, blond hair and blue eyes were regularly portrayed as signs of beauty, and associated with noble moral qualities. This preference didn't express racial preferences, but instead reflected the traditional symbolism of light as opposed to darkness.
Fifty years ago, movies like "Beach Blanket Bingo" sported sun-tanned and sun-bleached hard bodies, honed by hours on a surfboard. Girls swooned. Men emulated.
Blonds used to have more fun. Lately however, the venerable blond has been under attack. Blond jokes are aimed at women, but the spillover onto the male gender is unavoidable, whether consciously or not. The sheen of golden tresses has been connected with the lack of intelligence, and that idea has been carried to a comical level.
I believe the time has come for all good women to stand up and champion the fair-haired hero.
Big, blond, buff, and beautiful with eyes the color of seawater. What's not to swoon over?
May I present these gentlemen for your consideration:
- Chris Hemsworth - "Thor" as he is currently known.
- His brother, Liam. (Someone should bet on that bloodline. Winners all around.)
- Derek Hough from "Dancing With the Stars."
- Clay Matthews, linebacker with the Green Bay Packers.
- Alexander Skarsgaard - Erik from "True Blood."
- Brad Pitt during certain phases.
- David McCallum in his youth; Illya Kuryakin posters covered my adolescent bedroom walls.
- And Nikolaj Coster-Waldau - Jamie Lannister on "Game of Thrones" - is a dirty, dirty, blond. A deliciously bad boy blond.
And then there are the Hansen men: Rydar, Brander, Martin, Reid, and Nicolas. These guys are smart enough to run circles around any blond joke thrown at them. Plus there's not an ugly gene in the mix.
It's time for a breath of fresh hero, don't you agree? Let's all resurrect respect for a yellow-streaked mane on a handsome head, lightened after hours spent in the sun, sweating through physical labors until every bulge of muscle shines in sculpted detail.
Who's with me?
Norway is the new Scotland: http://www.kristualla.com/