05-26-18 – Blog Queen - Sarah Raplee

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Live Like You Were Dying

For you non country fans, that’s a song by stud-muffin Tim McGraw. It’s one of my favorites  because it’s not just a song, it’s a story…as most country songs are.

Anyway, this month we’re talking “near-death experiences”….apropos for the month of October as Halloween is just around the corner, and although most people associate the holiday with dressing up in costume and going door to door begging for sweets, it’s actually the start of a Mexican holiday called Dia de los Muertos….Day of the Dead.  Sounds spooky huh? But really the day is really about coming together to pray for and remember friends and family members who have died. 

I’ve been surrounded by death most of my life---giving a whole new meaning to our theme--near death experiences.  I’ve lost a lot of family over the years, starting when I was seven with the death of my grandmother who was barely in her sixties. In fact, in the span of six years I’d lost both grandparents and parents followed later by the loss of several beloved aunts and uncles (all on  my mother’s side and at very young ages). Recently I said goodbye to my cousin, Thomas, who passed away after a lengthy illness. He was only nine years older than me.

As hard as these losses have been, I have to say, accepting these deaths has given me a somewhat new perspective on life.  When someone is ill or has a health crisis, I tend to mentally prepare myself for their passing; accepting the inevitability so the heartache is easier to bear.  In fact, I tend to speak of my own death to my children, to give them time to get used to the idea of not having me in their lives forever.  Morbid I know.   But, death is a part of life. We may be able to prolong it, but we can’t stop it from ending.  And, if you believe in reincarnation like I do, you’ll come back to a new life in another day and time. 

Wow, I hope this blog didn’t bum you out. Haha

So, I’ll end with this. If you’re looking for some fun, spooky and romantic reading this Halloween season, my novel Dark Obsession (which was just given a 9.1 scoring by the Readers Crown at RomCon) is on sale at Amazon. 
And if you really like the ‘edge of your seat’ paranormal thrillers, check out my good friend Robert Gregory Browne’s books….The Innocent Ones (previously titled Down Among the Dead Men) being my favorite!!



Sarah Raplee said...

I'm sorry for your loss, Terri.

In my opinion, talking about death with children should happen more often. Most children are so sheltered from death that they have no idea how to cope when someone dies.

For example, in many families, pets never die; they go live at the animal farm. Dealing with the death of a beloved pet helps prepare a child for surviving the death of a loved one in the future.

As you said, death is a part of life. We all will lose people who go before us.We need to learn how to cope.

Judith Ashley said...

I also think talking about death as a part of life is positive. It is a natural part of the wheel of life and surrounds us, especially if one lives where there are seasons!

I was nine when my beloved grandfather died and I was confused and my mom and aunts and uncle devastated (he'd just been to the doctor the day before and had a clean bill of health!). I don't even remember how my grandmother dealt with it all because as children, we did not go to the funeral, etc.

Looking back, I can see what an impact that first experience with death had on my life.

There is a difference between protecting or sheltering someone and shoving the death of a loved one (person or pet) in a child's face. Finding the balance can make all the difference as we go through life.

Thanks for sharing about these important people, Terri. They live in our minds now because you shared memories of them.

Diana McCollum said...

Sorry for all the loss in your life, Terry. I have to agree it's a fine line between protecting or sheltering someone or shoving death in a their face. It's not always an easy thing to comprehend especially for a young child.

Pippa Jay said...

We've never sugar coated death to our children. I'm not religious at all so there's no pets going to heaven. My daughter IS religious and frets over my not going to heaven either, but we're very open about discussing it. Having watched my mum die from cancer when I was a teen and then my father in law as I was pregnant with his first grandchild, I don't want to dress it up to them as anything it isn't, the whole circle of life thing.