Seizing the Day When Death Comes Near

I have never personally had a near-death experience. Knock on wood. However, I have lost loved
ones and watched those I care for deeply draw close to death in one way or another. Recently, a family member received a potentially devastating medical diagnosis. While I hoped and prayed and agonized for a positive prognosis for him, I admit that I considered mortality in a way I hadn't just days before hearing of his condition.

Generally, like most of us, I suspect, I don't pass my days contemplating the end of my life, nor how many days of existence I might have left. I am usually too busy to even accomplish everything on my daily To Do list, let alone contemplate my mortality. But at certain moments in my life, death has drawn near. Near enough that its presence made me stop and pause. Stop and consider when my life might end. Stop and think about how I want to spend the rest of my days. 

"Live everyday as if it's your last" is a fine adage, but it's difficult to do each and everyday. Perhaps it's a financially necessary day job that prevents us from...climbing Mount Kilimanjaro—or whatever else our life's goals may be. And perhaps the aphorism does't simply mean we should quit a job that feels like drudgery and spend the rest of our days in Tuscany (though that sounds pretty good). Maybe it means we should view each day as precious, whatever we do with it. And, too, that we should pair down our lengthy life's To Do lists or bucket lists to the items that truly have significant, essential meaning to us. 

My family member is going to be just fine. After a quickly scheduled surgery by a talented surgeon, he's on the mend. In fact, he's already back at home with his family and enjoying life with as much verve and passion as he did before his diagnosis. And, according to him, a new portion of gratitude. For me, worrying about him and considering life and death, weighing my life up to this point and wondering how long my cord extends, made me realize there are a few things that matter to me a great deal, and a lot that, in the end, will matter very little. 

Family and friends are at the top of my list, but so too is my writing. After years of stops and starts, I finally got serious about my writing within the last two years. At the start of 2014, I published my first novella, Scandalous Wager. On November 1st, I will publish my third installment in my Whitechapel Wagers historical romance series. I am thrilled to finally be finishing my stories, publishing, and growing as a writer. Because when I consider what I want to accomplish in the rest of my days, writing is high on my list. Moments like the recent experience of hearing of a loved one's potentially serious medical diagnosis reminded me how precious everyday is, and how important it is to "seize the day."

Is writing on your list? Is there something you truly want to accomplish or pursue but have been putting it off for someday? 

Live Like You Were Dying

For you non country fans, that’s a song by stud-muffin Tim McGraw. It’s one of my favorites  because it’s not just a song, it’s a story…as most country songs are.

Anyway, this month we’re talking “near-death experiences”….apropos for the month of October as Halloween is just around the corner, and although most people associate the holiday with dressing up in costume and going door to door begging for sweets, it’s actually the start of a Mexican holiday called Dia de los Muertos….Day of the Dead.  Sounds spooky huh? But really the day is really about coming together to pray for and remember friends and family members who have died. 

I’ve been surrounded by death most of my life---giving a whole new meaning to our theme--near death experiences.  I’ve lost a lot of family over the years, starting when I was seven with the death of my grandmother who was barely in her sixties. In fact, in the span of six years I’d lost both grandparents and parents followed later by the loss of several beloved aunts and uncles (all on  my mother’s side and at very young ages). Recently I said goodbye to my cousin, Thomas, who passed away after a lengthy illness. He was only nine years older than me.

As hard as these losses have been, I have to say, accepting these deaths has given me a somewhat new perspective on life.  When someone is ill or has a health crisis, I tend to mentally prepare myself for their passing; accepting the inevitability so the heartache is easier to bear.  In fact, I tend to speak of my own death to my children, to give them time to get used to the idea of not having me in their lives forever.  Morbid I know.   But, death is a part of life. We may be able to prolong it, but we can’t stop it from ending.  And, if you believe in reincarnation like I do, you’ll come back to a new life in another day and time. 

Wow, I hope this blog didn’t bum you out. Haha

So, I’ll end with this. If you’re looking for some fun, spooky and romantic reading this Halloween season, my novel Dark Obsession (which was just given a 9.1 scoring by the Readers Crown at RomCon) is on sale at Amazon. 

And if you really like the ‘edge of your seat’ paranormal thrillers, check out my good friend Robert Gregory Browne’s books….The Innocent Ones (previously titled Down Among the Dead Men) being my favorite!!