By Linda Lovely
The Power of Lust
In fictional romances, one of the
tropes is a heroine who lusts for a hero she despises. She gets all tingly the
moment he enters a room. It’s as if he’s a force field. She tries to fight her
attraction but she’s powerless to squelch it. Of course, if the book is a
romance, she eventually discovers the hero is not despicable, and she falls in
love (usually before she satisfies her lust). The issue of “like” may or may
not be fully addressed.
Okay, given the right
circumstances, I can suspend disbelief and buy into this oft-used plot device.
Our hormones don’t always listen to reason. While “like” is a thinking/logic
idea, lust (and love) occur at a more subconscious level and sometimes defy
logic. So it’s not hard to imagine
lusting after someone you don’t like—especially if your dislike is based on
assumptions and hearsay. In this case our logic—the reason we don’t like
someone—may be flawed. Thus, the enemies-to-lovers trope can be believable if
done correctly.
However, there is a point where I
draw the line. If the heroine has actually witnessed (or experienced) a man
doing something detestable, say backhanding his mother or kicking a cat, I have
a harder time believing her lust “force field” wouldn’t break down. (Unless, of course, we later learn an alien
being killed his mother and is inhabiting her body or the kicked cat is a shape-shifter.)
Like Versus Love
A friend of mine, a mother,
confessed to me that she loved all four of her children equally, but she
couldn’t help liking two of them a lot more than their siblings. Love of family
members—whether they’re likable or not—is another trope in fiction. This is the
blood is thicker theory. Of course, what’s called “love” in this instance may
actually be better described as clan loyalty.
But, I couldn’t love a man I
didn’t like and respect. So, if I’m writing a romance, the hero has to win the
respect of the heroine before she can truly love him. In my case, the hero also
has to be able to make the heroine laugh in order for her to fall madly in
love. Okay, that’s a personal peccadillo.
Like, Lust and Love
I do think it’s possible to
really like someone and yet find it impossible to take that next step to love. As
noted earlier, like is a function of logic. Lust and love not so much. This
reality offers lots of fictional opportunities. Movies like “Four Weddings and
a Funeral” do an excellent job of exploring such disconnects among friends when
one longs to move her/his relationship to the next step only to find the sentiment
isn’t shared.
That’s why if I’m reading a
romance, I want the whole kit and caboodle—like, lust, love—to convince me that
a hero and heroine will actually have a happy ever after (HEA).
Do you agree?
5 comments:
Excellent blog, Linda!
Yes! I agree! I want that HEA for the characters. Sexual tension sets the scene - the more the better, whether it is in dialogue form or touching with a promise. Sometimes just a hot look is enough for me. (grin)
Enjoyed the post!
I do agree, Linda. There are times in our HEAs in real life that it's the like and love that get you through. The lust may be impossible to satisfy due to accident, illness or age, but with the like and the love, the loving relationship can endure.
Yes, Sarah, LIKE and LOVE often have far more longevity than LUST.
I find it difficult to write a hero who doesn't have traits I'd like or that I would personally require in a relationship. Humor is one of those requirements so we share that personal peccadillo.
My February post earlier this month talked about love being more than a feeling. I think lust is a physical feeling and involves our hormones and less logic. Love must come with loving actions and, it is my experience, it also has a foundation of friendship or like if it last a very long time.
I agree with Sarah - to get through the rough waters most every relationship travels experiences, like and love can weather those storms.
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