Wednesday, June 5, 2019

Outrageous Weddings


II don’t actually have an outrageous wedding tale because I can’t remember attending a single wedding that wasn’t absolutely divine. I do, however, have some uber-outrageous wedding info.


In a 2018 study that polled 3,000 American knot-tiers, the average price of a 100-guest wedding was $33,391. No wonder the weddings I attended were divine.

Ye Gods!  I repeat: $33,390.

That’s half the down payment for a $333,000 house, the price of a new SUV, or roughly 6,000 pairs of shoes.  Worse, the average wedding price tag is actually down from the 2016 average—by nearly $2,000.

So what do today’s I-Do’ers get for all that cash?  Well, most of the money goes toward you, the guest. Over half of the thirty-three Gs goes toward the venue ($16,000) and the catering ($71 per person or $7100 for 100 of us). When you add over $4K for the reception music and $750 plus for cakes, that set of matching wine glasses you bought for a gift looks rather chintzy, huh?

I’ve made arrangements with my lovely daughter to help with her with a house down-payment if she elopes, but if you have an offspring ready to go into wedding debt, there are some things you can do to avoid that second mortgage.  Obviously, you can have a more intimate wedding with less attendees, but if you still want the 100-plus guests, you can host the wedding in Mississippi. At an average cost of $15,581, it’s the cheapest state in the Union for unions.  Bama isn’t far behind at a mere $17,766.

Of course, you’ll want to avoid the most expensive states for wedding places. Surprisingly, New York doesn’t top the cake-toppers.  With an average tally of $35,477, the Big Apple is
only the 5th most expensive and only ranks 4th in the race for most weddings per year. Like me, you probably thought, “If NY doesn’t cost the most, California must be ringleader.”

Wrong. California is only the ninth most expensive place to host nuptials.  Hawaii actually tops the debt-inducing list at $39,078 followed closely by New Jersey with a wedding invoice of $38,049—which makes you wonder, why don’t they go to New York and save $2,500.

Another thing you can do is avoid Saturday weddings.  Scheduling the big event for Friday is much cheaper than Saturday and Wednesdays are cheaper still.  Besides, who doesn’t love a weekday wedding (eh, sarcasm).

The biggest question, is why do we (as a nation) spend so much money on weddings?  Are we guests at fault because we compare the second-rate $25,000 event to the $40,000 reception we attended last month? Are we expecting too much of young people starting out in life? I think so. I don’t know about you, but that backyard barbecue with Bud Lite is looking like a lot of fun—just don’t charge me $16K for the barn. 

7 comments:

Luanna Stewart said...

Good heavens, I knew weddings were pricey but I had no idea the average wedding cost so much. Is it the case the brides family still covers the cost? In which case, I love our two sons even more, LOL. Or do modern couples pay the full shot? No wonder young-marrieds can't afford their own house.

Judith Ashley said...

As you'll all see on Friday, I've watched "Say Yes To The Dress" on TLC. I've no idea why someone would spend $15,000 - $30,000 on a wedding dress. The sit down dinners with live music and dancing all night - oh and don't forget the professional photographer/videographer.

What ever happened to a wedding and reception that was comprised of The Cake, tea, coffee and maybe some mints/nuts? With rented wedding dress and tux? Or nice cocktail-type dress and suit? But the backyard BBQ after a wedding at a chapel or maybe under the arbor would be great also.

Lorraine said...

Wow. Elope and save a the hassles and expense. Go on an awesome honeymoon instead!

Linda Lovely said...

What's even sadder is that some of the expensive weddings produce marriages that don't half as long as the debt! Spending tons of money on pomp and ceremony don't contribute a bit toward guaranteeing the success of a union. A wedding can be beautiful without spending a lot of cash. I married in a backyard ceremony surrounded by (free) blooming azaleas with only immediate family. We've been married 43 years.

Sarah Raplee said...

I also feel weddings are only that expensive if the bride and groom want it to be. A church or county park building will not run you more than a few hundred dollars as a venue, a talented relative can sew the dress of your dreams for a couple hundred dollars, etc.

My mother made my dress and some of my bridesmaids' dresses, the others made their own. We had a beautiful evening candlelight service in our church with a finger-food reception in the church meeting hall.A good time was had by all, and the most meaningful part of it all was the ceremony - as it should be!

Maggie Lynch said...

I agree with others who have said the only reason a wedding costs that much is that the children are wealthy or the parents are willing to indulge them. My first marriage was in a church. I made my own wedding gown and all the bridesmaid dresses. I don't remember how much it was because that was 1977. I do know that on my salary, it was a month's salary in cost (whatever that was). Reception was in the church which allowed for coffee, tea, and mint candies or cookies. Our honeymoon was a couple hours away.

Jim and I, because we were older and wiser, had a destination wedding in Scotland where we were the only two there. No attendants, parents, or children. We figured it was for us. Again I made my own dress. Our witnesses were the owners of the B&B where we stayed the night before the wedding and for the first week of our honeymoon. Our money went to the honeymoon, a little to the justice of the peace in the castle where we were married. As it was a county building the cost was minimal. Oh and a small amount to a local photographer.

Our sons had what I would call modest weddings, but the brides parents did spend a lot (too much in my mind). One was a decade ago and the other was seven years ago. Both were in a church (two different states) and both had receptions, but not sit down dinners. Instead, after the official reception the entire extended families went out to a modest restaurant (like a pizza place) and everyone ordered what they wanted and paid for it themselves.

My favorite weddings to attend have always either been in a church the family belonged to or in the outdoors like a park, at the beach, or in a family members backyard. I think it sets better expectations for someone just starting off and it focuses on those people who are going to stand by you through thick and thin--happy marriages, struggling marriages, or divorce. But then I'm pretty old-fashioned and have never been in the economic group where big fancy weddings are the norm. It's all what you are raised to expect, I guess.

Dora Bramden said...

As I'm getting married next month I'm in the middle of paying for all the elements we've decided to include. As beautiful as that will be, I really do believe we could have had a simple wedding in our back yard and dinner at a restaurant and it would have been as special. My heart is focussed on standing in front of my closest friends and family and pledging my love to Sam.