Outrageous Weddings

II don’t actually have an outrageous wedding tale because I can’t remember attending a single wedding that wasn’t absolutely divine. I do, however, have some uber-outrageous wedding info.

In a 2018 study that polled 3,000 American knot-tiers, the average price of a 100-guest wedding was $33,391. No wonder the weddings I attended were divine.

Ye Gods!  I repeat: $33,390.

That’s half the down payment for a $333,000 house, the price of a new SUV, or roughly 6,000 pairs of shoes.  Worse, the average wedding price tag is actually down from the 2016 average—by nearly $2,000.

So what do today’s I-Do’ers get for all that cash?  Well, most of the money goes toward you, the guest. Over half of the thirty-three Gs goes toward the venue ($16,000) and the catering ($71 per person or $7100 for 100 of us). When you add over $4K for the reception music and $750 plus for cakes, that set of matching wine glasses you bought for a gift looks rather chintzy, huh?

I’ve made arrangements with my lovely daughter to help with her with a house down-payment if she elopes, but if you have an offspring ready to go into wedding debt, there are some things you can do to avoid that second mortgage.  Obviously, you can have a more intimate wedding with less attendees, but if you still want the 100-plus guests, you can host the wedding in Mississippi. At an average cost of $15,581, it’s the cheapest state in the Union for unions.  Bama isn’t far behind at a mere $17,766.

Of course, you’ll want to avoid the most expensive states for wedding places. Surprisingly, New York doesn’t top the cake-toppers.  With an average tally of $35,477, the Big Apple is

only the 5^th most expensive and only ranks 4^th in the race for most weddings per year. Like me, you probably thought, “If NY doesn’t cost the most, California must be ringleader.”

Wrong. California is only the ninth most expensive place to host nuptials.  Hawaii actually tops the debt-inducing list at $39,078 followed closely by New Jersey with a wedding invoice of $38,049—which makes you wonder, why don’t they go to New York and save $2,500.

Another thing you can do is avoid Saturday weddings.  Scheduling the big event for Friday is much cheaper than Saturday and Wednesdays are cheaper still.  Besides, who doesn’t love a weekday wedding (eh, sarcasm).

The biggest question, is why do we (as a nation) spend so much money on weddings?  Are we guests at fault because we compare the second-rate $25,000 event to the $40,000 reception we attended last month? Are we expecting too much of young people starting out in life? I think so. I don’t know about you, but that backyard barbecue with Bud Lite is looking like a lot of fun—just don’t charge me $16K for the barn.